When I was young, I wanted to be great. I wanted to be important, successful and powerful. I wanted to be put onto a pedestal, where I could get the adulation and approval I craved.
I wouldn’t have put it that way then, of course. I just thought I wanted the things my culture presented as normal goals for someone like me. (I understand now the degree to which being raised by a narcissistic father left me craving approval and attention.)
As I’ve gotten more emotionally healthy and psychologically mature, I’ve been surprised to find out that my desires in life have changed. It’s not that I’ve “given up.” It’s not that I’m settling for something easy after failing to achieve things I wanted.
My desires today are healthier and far more likely to make me happy. You see, I want to be ordinary. I want to be a good man. I want to be kind and loving and content with the joy of living an ordinary human life.
But I’ve recently discovered a fascinating paradox. As an ordinary man, I won’t have the things this world and our culture have always promised me. I won’t have wealth or power or adulation. But it turns out that the people who gain what the world and our culture promise won’t have what I have.
They won’t have the peace and contentment and joy of a man who’s living a simple and ordinary life.

In the old Ginger or Mary Ann debate, I wanted a third choice
Next, this city is going to be selling lemonade and holding bake sales
If your own life is all messed up, lecture others about fixing theirs
Marriage is a business decision, not just matter of romantic love
Calm and perspective needed for Boston, not accusations and games
City rushes to demolish $4.5 million transit station after only 13 years
Father who I saw as Mr. Morality turned out to be a liar and a thief
You’re not watching real news; you’re watching a scripted show