When I was young, I wanted to be great. I wanted to be important, successful and powerful. I wanted to be put onto a pedestal, where I could get the adulation and approval I craved.
I wouldn’t have put it that way then, of course. I just thought I wanted the things my culture presented as normal goals for someone like me. (I understand now the degree to which being raised by a narcissistic father left me craving approval and attention.)
As I’ve gotten more emotionally healthy and psychologically mature, I’ve been surprised to find out that my desires in life have changed. It’s not that I’ve “given up.” It’s not that I’m settling for something easy after failing to achieve things I wanted.
My desires today are healthier and far more likely to make me happy. You see, I want to be ordinary. I want to be a good man. I want to be kind and loving and content with the joy of living an ordinary human life.
But I’ve recently discovered a fascinating paradox. As an ordinary man, I won’t have the things this world and our culture have always promised me. I won’t have wealth or power or adulation. But it turns out that the people who gain what the world and our culture promise won’t have what I have.
They won’t have the peace and contentment and joy of a man who’s living a simple and ordinary life.

Do people change? Or do we just learn how to manage our faults?
A ‘faux father’ loves being adored, but a real father is there full-time
Faith and fear collide where dreams and reality come together
We learn lessons as we mature, but it’s usually too late by then
Governments can recognize rights, but no government creates rights
New segregation: Why do some people cling to racial politics?
Each loss makes me feel grateful for the irreplaceable ones I love
Will rising anger about personal economic pain lead to trouble soon?
Why do we accept ‘one size fits all’ rules that force us to fight each other?