When I was young, I wanted to be great. I wanted to be important, successful and powerful. I wanted to be put onto a pedestal, where I could get the adulation and approval I craved.
I wouldn’t have put it that way then, of course. I just thought I wanted the things my culture presented as normal goals for someone like me. (I understand now the degree to which being raised by a narcissistic father left me craving approval and attention.)
As I’ve gotten more emotionally healthy and psychologically mature, I’ve been surprised to find out that my desires in life have changed. It’s not that I’ve “given up.” It’s not that I’m settling for something easy after failing to achieve things I wanted.
My desires today are healthier and far more likely to make me happy. You see, I want to be ordinary. I want to be a good man. I want to be kind and loving and content with the joy of living an ordinary human life.
But I’ve recently discovered a fascinating paradox. As an ordinary man, I won’t have the things this world and our culture have always promised me. I won’t have wealth or power or adulation. But it turns out that the people who gain what the world and our culture promise won’t have what I have.
They won’t have the peace and contentment and joy of a man who’s living a simple and ordinary life.

‘Good enough’ isn’t enough if you want a relationship that will last
What if other people see you or hear you differently than you do?
In a saner world, we would never hear a word about Jussie Smollett
If you’re depressed about losing, libertarians are standing by to help
My utopia’s different from your utopia — and that’s just fine
Politicians trying to stamp out innovation to help monopolies
Nightmarish dreams mean dead can continue to play mind games
What is your measure of success? For me, meaning keeps changing
What can a free society do before an unstable person commits a crime?