When I was young, I wanted to be great. I wanted to be important, successful and powerful. I wanted to be put onto a pedestal, where I could get the adulation and approval I craved.
I wouldn’t have put it that way then, of course. I just thought I wanted the things my culture presented as normal goals for someone like me. (I understand now the degree to which being raised by a narcissistic father left me craving approval and attention.)
As I’ve gotten more emotionally healthy and psychologically mature, I’ve been surprised to find out that my desires in life have changed. It’s not that I’ve “given up.” It’s not that I’m settling for something easy after failing to achieve things I wanted.
My desires today are healthier and far more likely to make me happy. You see, I want to be ordinary. I want to be a good man. I want to be kind and loving and content with the joy of living an ordinary human life.
But I’ve recently discovered a fascinating paradox. As an ordinary man, I won’t have the things this world and our culture have always promised me. I won’t have wealth or power or adulation. But it turns out that the people who gain what the world and our culture promise won’t have what I have.
They won’t have the peace and contentment and joy of a man who’s living a simple and ordinary life.
Life is like flying a plane as you assemble it from a box of parts
If foreigner had killed 16 Americans, we wouldn’t be looking for excuses
Political attitudes about race prove we’re still living in a tribal world
Timeless design principles beat suburban McMansions for beauty
Urban Meyer’s drunken behavior points to deeper character issues
Mundane expressions of love matter more than movie versions
We need loving communities so we can know, ‘You’re not alone’
If you participate in sham of voting, you’re responsible for what it creates
Bad personal decisions are at root