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David McElroy

making sense of a dysfunctional culture

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FRIDAY FUNNIES

By David McElroy · May 25, 2012

In honor of the publication of an ebook of cat cartoons by my cartoonist friend, Tom Briscoe, all of today’s funnies are related to cats. I also recommend you take a look at Tom’s lighthearted $2.99 Kindle ebook, “99 Reasons to Hate Cats.” Whether you love ’em or hate ’em, you’ll find plenty in there to recognize and chuckle about, especially if you’ve lived closely with felines.

If you’ve ever seen a cat carefully studying a jump for awhile before executing the maneuver, you might wonder what’s going through his mind. Now you know.

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Clueless Obama attacks profit motive in Mitt Romney’s business career

By David McElroy · May 25, 2012

Barack Obama seems determined to make profit a dirty word. In attacking Mitt Romney’s business background, he’s making it clear that he has contempt for the free market that created the long-term national prosperity that he’s spent nearly four years helping to destroy.

Speaking in Iowa Thursday, Obama spoke of private equity firms — such as Bain Capital, Romney’s former company — as having motives other than job creation, as though that’s a bad thing.

“The people who work in these firms will tell you [job creation is] not their goal,” Obama said. He added that the companies’ goal is “maximizing short-term gains for your investors. There may be value for that type of experience but it’s not in the White House.”

Let’s review this. It’s business that generates the wealth of the nation on a long-term basis. Right now, business is in serious trouble, partly because of mistakes made by the business community, but even more so because of government interference that’s destroying the economy and manipulating markets. And even though the country desperately needs business to rebound and start growing again — as Obama would be the first to admit — he is clueless enough to claim it’s a liability for a presidential candidate to have experience in the private sector with making money? Is he insane or just dishonest?

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Two sets of rules: One for the public and a very different set for police

By David McElroy · May 24, 2012

As I was approaching the ramp to get onto I-59 in Birmingham Wednesday, I noticed in my rearview mirror that there was a police car behind me. I don’t know about you, but I start worrying a bit while they’re behind me. Is it past time to renew my tag? Do I have a tail light out? What’s the speed limit on this little road?

I was hoping he wasn’t turning onto the interstate, so I was watching his turn signal in my mirror to see if it came on. It never did — but he turned behind me anyway. Part of the way down the ramp, the asphalt widens, but the lane for the interstate hasn’t started, so you’re supposed to stay on the ramp. He didn’t. Part of the way down the ramp, he floored his engine and went around me, going through the striped lines you’re supposed to stay away from.

In the time I could still see him, he impatiently tailgated a car and then passed it way too close to a car in the other lane. He lost me after that, but it doesn’t really matter what he did. He has a gun and a badge, so he can do whatever he wants.

Have you ever noticed how flagrantly many police officers violate the traffic rules we’re supposed to obey? I routinely see them speeding (without emergency lights), tailgating and failing to use turn signals. There’s one set of rules for us, and there’s another set for them. Is there any wonder that more and more people are losing respect for police?

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Have you felt as though you’re living through Grou Have you felt as though you’re living through Groundhog Day lately? Me, too. Here’s a quick-and-dirty political satire I made this evening for fun and stress relief.
About three minutes before sunrise, vibrant color About three minutes before sunrise, vibrant color is poking through the skies to the east of my back yard.
The lights and color might have been more spectacu The lights and color might have been more spectacular a couple of minutes before this, but this was the best view I had of the Monday afternoon sunset from a bridge over I-20 in Moody, Ala.
I just remembered this shot I got a couple of hour I just remembered this shot I got a couple of hours ago of the fading sunset while I was in the Publix parking lot on the way home. If you suddenly find yourself craving Arby’s or Wendy’s, blame the giant icons in the sky, not me. 😃 (BTW, this was with the iPhone’s 8X telephoto lens.) #nature #naturephotography #sunset #birmingham #alabama
I had just pulled into a parking lot Friday night I had just pulled into a parking lot Friday night and was watching traffic through the distortion of the gently falling rain on my car window when I realized that the abstract view I had matched the way I was feeling tonight, so I turned it into a brief abstract video to match my mood.
Get ready for the next great animated Christmas cl Get ready for the next great animated Christmas classic, featuring singing and dancing and danger from Alex, Oliver and Sam. Coming soon to a theater near you. (The funniest part is that if I cared about this as anything more than a Christmas joke, it strikes me as something that could be profitable with the right story development and the right animators.)
Here are a couple of views of the sunset I just wa Here are a couple of views of the sunset I just watched on my way home after showing houses. I didn’t have my camera with me, so these are just iPhone shots. #nature #naturephotography #sunset #birmingham #alabama
This is what it might look like if the cats and I This is what it might look like if the cats and I were cast in a Wes Anderson film.
This is one of the funniest things that ChatGPT ha This is one of the funniest things that ChatGPT has done for me. I asked it to create a movie poster showing what a movie poster would look like for a film starring me. I told it to use my previous writings (from my website) to come up with a title and subject matter. And this is what it came up with. I can’t stop laughing. Also, the software decided on its own to included Oliver. 😺
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I tried to awaken Oliver when I left after lunch t I tried to awaken Oliver when I left after lunch to let him know I was leaving for the afternoon, but I’m not sure he woke up enough to understand what was going on. He was a sleepy boy.
Late Wednesday afternoon, Oliver and Alex have tak Late Wednesday afternoon, Oliver and Alex have taken over the surface of my desk. Alex already had the small bed, so Oliver just stretched out on the surface for a good view out of a window next to the desk.
Sam and I are at an office window Tuesday afternoo Sam and I are at an office window Tuesday afternoon and he’s trying to teach me his advanced techniques for Neighborhood Watch. He’s the best.
Alex is lying on the bed late Monday night, but I Alex is lying on the bed late Monday night, but I don’t think he’ll be awake much longer.
I’m trying to get some work done on my MacBook, bu I’m trying to get some work done on my MacBook, but Oliver thinks he deserves attention instead. So this is the view from the MacBook’s camera.
Alex is stretched out on my desk Monday evening as Alex is stretched out on my desk Monday evening as he begins the long and arduous wait for dinner.
From the CritterCam: Alex is sleeping right in fro From the CritterCam: Alex is sleeping right in front of the camera late Monday afternoon, so we have a good view of this sleeping boy, even if he’s too close for a good focus.
Early Monday morning, Sam is on Neighborhood Watch Early Monday morning, Sam is on Neighborhood Watch in an office window. Nothing gets past his scrutiny.
It’s almost 6 a.m., but Oliver doesn’t want to let It’s almost 6 a.m., but Oliver doesn’t want to let me go to bed. He’s happier when I serve as a giant bed for him.
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We are ruled by the dumbest and most incompetent people among us — and we have a system which allows stupid and irresponsible people to force the costs of their idiocy onto smarter and wiser people. Can we get away with that? Yes, for quite some time. But we eventually reach a point at which the dumbest of the dumb — who are habitual liars and mentally ill fools — lead us to the disasters and destruction that some of us have seen coming for years. We are approaching that point. And yet most of the idiots around us still wave their rhetorical banners of support for the evil people who are leading us to ruin — and all of them point their fingers at someone else, never noticing that their own enthusiastic support of evil is to blame. When things finally fall apart, blame yourself for your blindness to the evil, not whoever happens to be in power when it happens.

I’ve been making some changes to the site lately and there are more changes coming in the days ahead, so don’t be surprised if you some small differences. This is not a wholesale redesign, but rather the addition of some features. Since they’re smarter than I am, I’ve put Oliver and Alex in charge of the technical work, which you can see in this action photo from the control room of our media complex. I recently added a series of landing pages for readers who randomly discover the site from an Internet search. I’ve also changed the YouTube link at the top of the page to go to the new YouTube channel for video essays that reflect things I’ve already published here. (Here’s a little bit about both of the YouTube channels I’m working on.) In addition, I’m trying to move away from using Instagram, so I’m experimenting with photo plug-ins that will eventually allow me to host the pictures — cats, dogs, sunsets, whatever — that I often take. So don’t be surprised to see more changes. Thanks for your patience. Let’s hope Alex and Oliver know what they’re doing.

I have no use for the theocratic and repressive government of Iran. The people who run the country are cruel at best and evil at worst. The Iranian people deserve freedom. But I have no personal quarrel with anybody in Iran. While I’m not thrilled about a future Iranian government having nuclear weapons, I’m just as concerned about nukes in the hands of politicians in Israel, Pakistan, India, China and Russia. I’m not even thrilled with the U.S., Britain and France having them, either, because I don’t trust any politicians to be responsible with such terrible weapons. All I can say with certainty is that American taxpayers have no business attacking Iran, especially since we’re being forced to pay for this attack in order to benefit the politicians of Israel — and nobody else. If Middle Eastern countries want to fight among themselves, that’s none of my business. It’s not the business of the U.S. government, either. I have no quarrel with anybody in Iran — and having the government which claims to represent me launch an unprovoked attack against a sovereign country will only make all Americans less safe in the near future. This attack is poorly conceived and morally unjustified. Remember that when the Iranians launch attacks that we will then condemn as “terrorism.” What the U.S. is doing right now looks like terrorism to me. And let’s not forget that the attack is the latest in a long line of unconstitutional wars by various U.S. presidents — who have no legal power to declare war on their own, according to the U.S. Constitution.

A child having a tantrum understands only one thing: Did I get my way or not? He doesn’t understand the issues involved. He doesn’t understand the reasons that went into a decision. He doesn’t understand any of the things that mature and reasonable adults have to understand in order to live healthy lives. By his reaction to the U.S. Supreme Court’s ruling to strike down his disastrous tariff scheme, Donald Trump shows himself to be — once more — a screaming child having a tantrum. Outside the world of mob bosses who expect to get their way every time, normal adults don’t act this way, but Trump isn’t normal. He’s an angry and vengeful man who has narcissistic personality disorder. And we are in danger as a result. Trump doesn’t understand the legal issues involved in this ruling. He doesn’t understand economics. He doesn’t understand rule of law. He doesn’t understand that he can ever be wrong. All he understands is that he didn’t get his way. And he is now a narcissistic and raging little boy who also happens to hold life-and-death power over most humans on this planet. He’s dangerous — and the system which gives him that power is even more dangerous.

Is it an attempt to blur the gender line between men and women? Or is it some weird tribute to the traditional Scottish kilt? It’s hard to say, but fashion designers keep pushing for men to wear skirts in the last few years. Both men and women in modern fashion seem oddly androgynous, as though it would be offensive for a man to look manly or for a woman to look feminine. A CNN article about the latest fashions from Paris caught my attention Monday and left me wondering about the ugly clothes the designers are hawking. If a man wants to wear a skirt — or a kilt — that’s OK with me, but I’ll stick with a traditional dark suit with a white shirt and tie. (Well, when I’m not wearing t-shirts and sweats, of course.) I always wonder who actually buys the outlandish garb from fashion designers anyway. I would be humiliated to be seen in any of this stuff, but I obviously have no sense of high fashion.

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