As I read aloud from the book, I could tell that my girlfriend was increasingly upset by what she was listening to. It was nearly a decade ago and my then-girlfriend and I had been learning more about ourselves by working our way through a personality system called ANSIR. I was reading a section of a book which discussed a long-term pairing of her type and my type.
“Then we don’t have any chance, do we?” she said with tears in her eyes once I finished.
I was at a stage in our relationship when I thought we probably should split up. For me, the book was just pointing out obvious problems between us that needed work. In a way, I was letting this book guide us toward the breakup that I thought I wanted and that I thought was right.
I’ve been thinking about that conversation lately and about a lot of the discussions she and I had during that period. Was I right in believing that our personality differences were driving our problems? Was she right in concluding we had no chance because of what the book said about our core differences?

Dear FBI, NSA and all three-letter agencies: ‘We don’t trust you guys’
My old fear of looking foolish is strong incentive to do good work
Intellectual honesty mostly dead — but few partisans even care
We won’t be free until politicians lose power to control the Internet
Romantic interest no easier now than it was for me in sixth grade
Pop culture creates overgrown kids in adult bodies who won’t grow up
The free market: It’s not just for greedy, rich white capitalists
When people show you who they are, trust their actions, not words
Health risk and social costs make drinking alcohol a very poor risk