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With changed priorities, it’s time to re-evaluate my long-term goal

By David McElroy · May 13, 2014

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When I launched this site three years ago today, the intended audience was only one person. Everything was written for her — in the hopes that she would find it and come back into my life. My hopes were rewarded. Sort of.

She came back into my life — in and out, back and forth — for most of the past three years. She was an avid reader of the site almost from the beginning. Then she became a regular commenter, first using a pseudonym and then using her real name (and a goofy picture with a wig).

She’s no longer a reader here and no longer part of my life. The details don’t really matter that much at this point. The psychology of what happened is actually very interesting, but it’s not in her best interest that the full story be told, so I won’t.

The only reason I tell you this story is to say that I started writing here with a surface-level purpose — which was quite real and honest — but always with a deeper and more important underlying purpose. Now that underlying purpose is completely gone, and I’m not sure anymore what my goals here are.

I haven’t been writing very much for months now. For nearly two years of the site’s existence, I wrote at least one article almost every day. For a long stretch of time, I also had a second article each day — written by the “staff monkeys” — with links of the day. I went through a lot of changes as a result of this experience, and it’s affected what I’m willing to write.

When I was trying to build an audience in the beginning, I was still willing to do what almost every political writer does. Much of what I wrote was “red meat” directed toward the existing biases of my audience. I learned which sorts of stories would get people riled up, because it was when they were angry or disgusted by something that they would share links with their friends, mostly on Facebook.

That’s what almost everyone else who writes about politics does, right? Or at least the successful ones. They find some outrageous story that makes their side look good and the other side (or sides) look bad and then they re-write it with a spin designed to appeal to their allies.

I did a good number of those stories. I also did a good number of the stories I thought were more important — the kind that talked about ideas and what we might be able to do to break free if we could just find each other in big enough numbers and learn from one another. The “red meat” stories typically had big readership numbers. The pieces I thought were important had mediocre readership.

I haven’t gone back and deleted the old “red meat” stories. That would seem dishonest. I wouldn’t write those stories today, because they were pandering to people who already agreed with me on some subject or other. They weren’t really interesting and they weren’t good for starting serious conversations.

Although I mostly started writing about politics and ideas related to political philosophy, I eventually started writing more and more about much more personal things. In many of those very personal articles, you can tell who the intended audience really was if you’re paying attention. Yes, it was her, of course. Much of what I had to say was a long and thinly veiled exposition of my views about what is most important in life. It was all part of a long-form persuasive pamphlet which said, “Choose me,” to one specific woman.

Although we went through a long period when we were talking on the phone for hours each day, I haven’t spoken to her since last June, when she called me from a bridge one night. I haven’t even heard from her by email since December. I was still oddly hooked on her and I couldn’t let her go. The last time I sent her something was an appropriate day. I mailed something to her on April 1 — April Fool’s Day.

A few nights later, I woke up in the wee hours of the night and thought long and hard about the last three years — of disappointment, dishonesty, disillusionment and denial. For the first time, I realized I was ready to completely let her go. I woke up the next morning and blocked her on Facebook, and that symbolic action was the end of a dysfunctional play that started almost 10 years ago. I was finally free of her. (It was just a week or so later that I found out something that confirmed I’d done the right thing.)

I’ve spent about a month re-interpreting my own narrative of the last five years and especially the last three years. I’ve had to go through some real anger about things I’ve had to accept, because I’d worked really hard to avoid seeing some ugly things that I didn’t want to see. Deep down, I knew that I was in denial, but I was determined to see this through to the end.

I don’t believe in giving up on something I want, because I have an odd determination to stick with something if I truly want it. I didn’t give up on her. I had to reach the point that I didn’t want her. I had to reach the point at which I no longer had anything to say to her. And that brings me back to this site.

She was my audience three years ago, but she’s not anymore. I’m not sure what I want to say and I’m not sure who wants to hear it.

I need to rephrase that sentence, because the first part isn’t quite right. I have more to say than ever, but I’m not sure who wants to hear it. I’m not sure there’s much of an audience — and without a substantial audience, I’m not sure what I’m going to do.

I discovered through the early days of this site that I know how to attract an audience, but I also learned that I’m not willing to do the things that do that. I’m not willing to make people angry at each other just to build an audience and make a name for myself. (I guess that rules out opportunities on talk radio or on cable news.) That’s just not who I am, and I don’t like myself when I try to do it.

At this point, I only have in the neighborhood of 500 visitors each day, even less some days. (My best day ever was slightly more than 30,000.) But considering that most of my readers now are people just doing online searches that lead to old articles, I’m probably lucky to have the audience that I do.

So what is the site to become?

I don’t know. I’ve been thinking about that and I still don’t know. On one level, the overt purposes the site originally had are still just as valid, but I have less and less interest in writing about politics. I’m not convinced that any of us ever change anybody else’s mind, and I see no reason to waste my time to write things that will be applauded by my allies and attacked by those who disagree. What’s the purpose in that? For me, not much, when there are more worthwhile ways to spend my time.

I have a lot to say, but I don’t know how much of it is worth saying here, because it’s time-consuming to write regularly. And the audience dwindles when I don’t write regularly.

Is there an audience for what I want to say? Is this the best way to express my ideas, thoughts and feelings? Is there a better way? Is there a way that I can make a living expressing what’s important to me, but in a way that people who will find it beneficial can find it amidst all the clutter of junk online?

I don’t know the answers to any of those questions. All I know is that what I post here will almost certainly continue to be sporadic until I figure those things out. I’ll probably post some things that happen to mean enough to me to say something. Every now and then, something I say might even push some of the old political buttons. I don’t know.

I put on a three-year play which was directed toward an audience of one, even though I invited others to read along, too. She watched my play and came back again and again for more. But I finally decided I had nothing else to say to her. So that play is over.

I don’t know what I’ll do with this site. It won’t go away, but I don’t know how much I’ll be adding or what the subject matter might be. Eventually, another curtain will rise on a different performance. The intended audience will be different this time.

I just have to decide what I’d like to say that some audience might find beneficial to hear. I appreciate those of you who’ve read the site for the last three years. I hope I can do something in the future that might interest you. Only time will tell what that might be.

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Future Photo Display

As part of my effort to rid my life of social media, I will no longer display links to my two Instagram accounts here. Those accounts will be dormant for the time being and will eventually be deleted. I plan to have a method for displaying photos here instead, but the solutions I’ve tested so far have been disappointing. I’m still working on it.

My Instagram

I need some new portraits of myself, so I tried a I need some new portraits of myself, so I tried a few shots after I got home late Monday night. This one wasn’t great, so I’ll try again later, but I can use it until I have time to shoot another. I was too lazy to light this one properly — and it shows. 😺
Sunset, Leeds, Alabama — August 27, 2026 Sunset, Leeds, Alabama — August 27, 2026
Sunset, Leeds, Alabama — August 19, 2026 Sunset, Leeds, Alabama — August 19, 2026
When I got home at midnight Monday, I was doing so When I got home at midnight Monday, I was doing some work in the studio and Oliver wanted to join me, so I showed him around to acclimate him to the place again. He rarely goes in there, but I have pictures of him in that studio on the night I brought him home as a kitten. 😺
Earlier this week, I found two photos of Lucy and Earlier this week, I found two photos of Lucy and me that I had never seen. I loved finding the pictures, but seeing these photos left me thinking about the effect it has on us when we lose an animal we love — and it was also a reminder of how much my life has changed for the last nine months it’s been since I lost her. I wrote an essay about this. You can find it as the most recent post at davidmcelroy.org right now if you’re interested. I really do miss this sweet girl.
When I take lightning pictures, I’m always hoping When I take lightning pictures, I’m always hoping to get just one usable photo, but I got two dramatic images tonight. You might recognize the water tower and communication tower that you’ve seen in many of my sunset photos. This is about a mile from my house in Leeds, which is just east of Birmingham.
For those who are in places where it’s miserably h For those who are in places where it’s miserably hot today, here is a minute of light rain and gentle thunder from my back yard late Saturday afternoon. It’s very relaxing to stand at my back door and watch this, especially since the heat is pretty mild today — 80 degrees (about 26 celsius) — for July in the American South.
Alex was willing to cooperate with me for a new po Alex was willing to cooperate with me for a new portrait late Wednesday night. It’s been roughly three and a half years now since the cold night when I was able to lure him out from behind a garbage dumpster into a trap — but I don’t think he’s sorry at this point that he fell for the trick. 😺
This is the face of a man who’s thrilled that the This is the face of a man who’s thrilled that the weekend is finally here. It was a very long (and productive) week, but the time has finally come that I have time to write and read and think. Late Friday night, I’m at the McDonald’s near my house with a Diet Dr Pepper and a MacBook. For me, it’s like Cheers without the booze.
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Meg posed for a simple portrait in the bedroom for Meg posed for a simple portrait in the bedroom for me late Friday night. She’s a very photogenic girl.
I was taking a photo of Sam in an office window wh I was taking a photo of Sam in an office window when Oliver decided he should have some attention, too. Sam knows that his bigger brother is upstaging him, but he’s not sure whether to stay in the window or jump down.
From the CritterCam: Alex has been sleeping in the From the CritterCam: Alex has been sleeping in the cat bed on my desk Thursday night, but Oliver seems to be trying to bully him into moving so the big gray boy can have the spot instead. But Alex turned back around and went back to sleep. Oliver was disappointed, but walked away.
From the CritterCam: Even though I’m not at home, From the CritterCam: Even though I’m not at home, Alex seems to know that I’m watching him over the webcam. He’ll be back to sleep any moment, though.
Late Wednesday night, Meg is relaxing on the bed w Late Wednesday night, Meg is relaxing on the bed while I write in the bedroom. Every now and then, Oliver cruises by the foot of the bed and she takes off to chase him — then seems to remember that he has “boy cooties” and breaks off the chase. She seems pretty happy to be here as she finishes Day 22 in the house with us.
Just before midnight, Meg is purring in my arms as Just before midnight, Meg is purring in my arms as we hang out together in the bedroom. She’s a photogenic little girl.
Meg is just hanging out in the office on the castl Meg is just hanging out in the office on the castle Tuesday afternoon. That’s Sam on the mantle behind her. Today marks three weeks since she came inside and went to the vet, but it seems as though she’s been here much longer than that.
From the CritterCam: I just checked the webcam as From the CritterCam: I just checked the webcam as I was trying to get to sleep. Alex has firm control of then cat bed, but Oliver seems to be stalking him in an intimidating fashion — which doesn’t seem the least bit intimidating to Alex. Every cat seems certain that he or she deserves exactly what he or she wants. We humans could learn a lot about confidence from felines.
I love how relaxed and confident Meg is when she h I love how relaxed and confident Meg is when she hangs ou in my lap. This is just before midnight Monday night. Tomorrow will mark her third full week with us. I’d say she’s pretty happy with this transition, even if she’s still wary of her brothers some of the time. I actually saw her charge Oliver briefly tonight — and he got out of her way. So she’s learning.
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The company that owns Facebook and Instagram is heavily promoting its new AI-based software assistant called Muse, but people who are using it as it was designed are incredibly foolish. An early adopter of the software discovered that a few days ago when he advertised an item for sale on Facebook Marketplace — and he inadvertently gave Muse full authority to act on his behalf. The software agreed to a lowball offer made by another Facebook user and then gave that man the home address of the man for whom he was an agent. The software told the buyer that the seller was home and waiting for him. When the buyer showed up and waited angrily, the would-be buyer left an angry review for the man. And this angry man had the seller’s home address. It was only well after that that the software reported what it had done and admitted it had made a mistake. I won’t be putting that much power into the hands of any software. I think anyone who agrees to such terms is a fool. And the software’s user agreement says you’re responsible for purchases the software makes in your name. Nope.

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Here’s the latest of my ridiculous parody shorts. It crossed my mind Tuesday to wonder what a slick and fast-talking car dealer might do right now to try to turn the high price of gasoline to his advantage. So I conceived of a fat and lovable character who tried to sell cars that don’t use any fuel — and then I started wondering if it would be funnier if all the characters were felines. Designing the King Cashpaw character took about four hours, but the rest took only another four hours, so this was a relatively quick piece that virtually wrote itself. I know it’s almost impossible for these parody videos to find a larger audience, but at least they amuse me — and there are 19 of them on my YouTube page now. The first few were very limited, but they’re getting more complex.

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