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Nine years ago, he asked her, ‘Will you take a chance on me?’

By David McElroy · November 30, 2018

It was raining when Mark offered to share his umbrella with Becca nine years ago. He says he didn’t have any other motivation, but Becca smiled Friday night when they told me the story.

“I don’t know what he was really thinking,” she said, “but I’m glad he took the chance.”

I met Mark and Becca — along with their two young children — at a restaurant. Their two daughters attracted my attention first. Their animated games of make-believe made me smile and I was soon chatting with their parents.

They live in Portland, Ore., now, but Birmingham will always be special to them. It was a twist of fate — like something out of a romantic movie — that brought them together in the rain one evening nine years ago.

Becca was a 26-year-old lawyer at her father’s Philadelphia law firm. She’s an only child and her dad had always wanted her to take over his law practice one day. He had planned her life. He sent her to Yale for her undergraduate degree and Georgetown for law school. She had been working at the firm for a bit more than a year, but her dad told anybody who would listen that she would eventually take over for him.

Mark was not the sort of man her father approved of. He was a freelance writer and made little money. He was 45 and still hadn’t published anything more than short stories and freelance articles in small magazines. He struggled to make his living and he lived in a cheap studio apartment in the Southside part of Birmingham — the artsy section of town which Bohemian dreamers and artists call home.

Becca’s aunt lived in Birmingham and the family was gathering at her house for Thanksgiving. It was a large group staying at her home in Mountain Brook for the holiday. Mountain Brook is the part of town where “old money” lives around here. Even though Mountain Brook and Southside are right next to one another, the social and economic classes of the people who lived there were miles and miles from one another.

Becca was restless in the big house among people she barely knew, so when someone needed to run to a grocery store for a few missing items for baking, she volunteered. She took her aunt’s car — since her family had flown in — and she took off in the dark with directions to the store.

She didn’t realize that Mountain Brook’s streets were so winding and confusing. She took a wrong turn, but she wasn’t concerned about it since she found a grocery store anyway. She had ended up at a Western Market on Highland Avenue, only about half a mile from Mark’s Southside apartment. And it turned out that he had come to the store at the same time — just as it started to pour down rain.

As he arrived and parked, he noticed a woman sitting in a car and looking frustrated with the rain. As he got out with his umbrella raised, he offered to let her join him on the walk inside. He said it was purely a spur-of-the-moment thing.

After she shared his umbrella and they got inside the store, they both laughed at how wet they had gotten even with the umbrella. As Becca started looking around for the things she had come for, Mark stayed near her side.

“When I saw her in the parking lot, I just knew she was a woman who might want to share my umbrella,” Mark said, “but once we got inside, it was like everything changed for me. I didn’t believe in love at first sight until that night, but when I saw her face and looked into her eyes, I would have done anything to keep talking with her.”

Becca felt a connection to Mark, too, but nothing about what she felt was convenient for her. She thought it would be harmless enough to keep talking to him while she was in town — since she didn’t know anybody in the area and her extended family left her eager to get away — so she gave him her phone number.

Over the next four days, Becca slipped away from her family as often as she could get away with. Mark met her family, but he didn’t feel as though they were very happy to meet him.

“I think they were afraid I was going to kidnap Becca,” he laughed. “And they were probably right.”

In the time Mark and Becca had together, they quickly felt as though they had known each other forever. They both say there was a strong sense of intimacy — a kind of shared heart — that made them both very happy. The family was flying back to Philadelphia Sunday night. On Saturday afternoon, Mark took Becca to the Birmingham Botanical Gardens. They walked among the flowers and along the paths for hours.

While they were in the Japanese garden, Becca sensed that something changed in Mark. They were both dreading that the time had come for her to leave and were talking about what the future might hold. Becca said Mark looked her in the eye for a long time before he finally spoke again. She said she remembers his words clearly.

“Becca, will you take a chance on me?”

For his part, Mark was having trouble not saying as much as he wanted to say.

“What I wanted to say was that I was madly in love with her and wanted her to marry me the next day,” Mark said Friday night.

Becca didn’t return to Philadelphia with her family that night. Her parents were angry and worried at her sudden involvement with someone she barely knew, but she trusted her instinct.

“All my life, I had done what my dad had wanted me to do,” she said. “I always thought he wished he had a son to be just like him, so since he didn’t have a son, he tried to make his daughter just like him. This was the first time in my life when I defied him. He didn’t take it well.”

Becca stayed with her aunt for a few days while she looked for a job and a place to live. She finally returned to Philadelphia to move her belongings and drive her car back. Her father told her that if she left the job he had given her, he was disowning her. But she listened to her heart instead of her fear.

Within six months, Mark and Becca married. Her parents wanted nothing to do with the wedding and didn’t attend. They belittled Mark and told her she was making the worst mistake of her life.

Becca’s father died last year. A few months before he died, he was diagnosed with a fast-moving form of cancer. Even though her dad didn’t speak to her, her mother talked to her at times, against her husband’s wishes. As he was close to death, he asked if he could see Becca and Mark — both of them — so they went to see him.

“We went up there and we took our daughters,” Becca said. “Mom was overjoyed to finally meet her granddaughters, but I still didn’t know what Dad might say to me. I wasn’t sure why we were there.”

Mark and Becca went upstairs to the dying man’s room. He was confined to bed by that point and couldn’t talk very well.

“This is very hard for me,” Becca said her father said, “but I was wrong about both of you. I thought I was trying to steer you in the right direction, but what I wanted was for you to fulfill my own plans. I should have said this a long time ago, but I apologize for the way I acted. You two seem to be really happy together and I understand now that’s what matters. Will you forgive me?”

Mark had a novel published four years ago by a small press in Portland and it was well-received by critics. He has a second book that’s about to come out from a bigger publisher. Becca is the business half of the family and Mark is the creative half. They tell me they’re doing well financially, but I don’t know exactly what that means.

“Before I met Becca, I didn’t have any real motivation,” Mark said. “I wanted to do well — everybody does — but I didn’t do my best work. After she came along, everything changed. It was like some kind of magic light switch had been flipped inside me. I did better work and I started caring about selling it, especially after we had the girls.”

Mark and Becca have been gone from Birmingham for two years. They’re not sure how long they’ll be in Portland or where they might end up. They came last weekend for Thanksgiving and stayed for the entire week. It’s the first time since nine years ago that the extended family had gathered at the home of Becca’s aunt. Mark and Becca came to see the family and then visit friends and places they haven’t seen much — and to show their daughters where everything started.

They took their daughters to the Western Market where they met, but the little girls didn’t seem impressed. It was just a small grocery store to them.

But the tiny store on that corner means everything to Mark and Becca.

“I can’t imagine how much I would have lost out on if I hadn’t offered that umbrella to her that night,” Mark said.

“And I can’t imagine how much we would both have been lost out on…” — she gestured to their daughters — “…if I had done the reasonable thing and gone back home with my parents,” said Becca. “I saw something not long ago that really resonates for me. It said in the end, we only regret the chances we didn’t take. I’m glad I don’t have to regret not taking this chance.”

Sometimes the opportunity we need most is right in front of us, but it might not always make sense to anybody else.

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As part of my effort to rid my life of social media, I will no longer display links to my two Instagram accounts here. Those accounts will be dormant for the time being and will eventually be deleted. I plan to have a method for displaying photos here instead, but the solutions I’ve tested so far have been disappointing. I’m still working on it.

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When I got home at midnight Monday, I was doing so When I got home at midnight Monday, I was doing some work in the studio and Oliver wanted to join me. The first picture is when I just showed him around to acclimate him to the place again. (He rarely goes in there, but I have pictures of him in that studio on the night I brought him home as a kitten.) The second picture is the best portrait I could get of us. He looked nice and natural, but I looked a bit ridiculous. 😺
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For those who are in places where it’s miserably h For those who are in places where it’s miserably hot today, here is a minute of light rain and gentle thunder from my back yard late Saturday afternoon. It’s very relaxing to stand at my back door and watch this, especially since the heat is pretty mild today — 80 degrees (about 26 celsius) — for July in the American South.
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Cats haven’t change that much over the centuries. Cats haven’t change that much over the centuries. One of these is an Egyptian statue that’s in a British museum. The other is Oliver. If you just saw the outlines, would be know for sure which was which? 😺
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From the CritterCam: I’m finally getting to sleep From the CritterCam: I’m finally getting to sleep at 4:30 a.m. and this is what Alex is doing. He’s hanging over the side of his bed almost in the middle of the frame for the webcam. He amuses me. 😺
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It turns out that the radical far left has been training “Antifa cats” to sabotage anything important to Donald Trump. Everything he did was perfect. Honest. It was all the cats’ fault. Arrest all the cats! This is the latest of my ridiculous satirical shorts. Please go watch it. Then “like” it and subscribe. Please. I’m begging you. (Too much?) Although a couple of the previous videos have had views in the hundreds, most have still been seen by fewer than 20 people. So I seem to be having trouble letting people know that page exists.

Here’s the latest of my ridiculous parody shorts. It crossed my mind Tuesday to wonder what a slick and fast-talking car dealer might do right now to try to turn the high price of gasoline to his advantage. So I conceived of a fat and lovable character who tried to sell cars that don’t use any fuel — and then I started wondering if it would be funnier if all the characters were felines. Designing the King Cashpaw character took about four hours, but the rest took only another four hours, so this was a relatively quick piece that virtually wrote itself. I know it’s almost impossible for these parody videos to find a larger audience, but at least they amuse me — and there are 19 of them on my YouTube page now. The first few were very limited, but they’re getting more complex.

The Republican Party is dead. It still exists in name, of course, but it’s nothing but a shell. All that’s left are idiots and stooges and con men of the MAGA party. When Donald Trump is gone — which won’t be long — those populist idiots and pragmatic fools will have no one to follow. Democrats will thrive. They will take more power than ever and they will push the federal government further to the radical far left than ever. When that happens, don’t just blame Trump if you’re a conservative. Blame every person who has claimed to be a conservative and has given up on principles, character and everything else that Republicans once claimed to stand for. As someone who worked as a GOP political consultant for many years, this is disgusting and disturbing to me. Those who have enabled Trump to have almost unchecked power are going to be shocked when they see what they will unleash in the long run. It’s been plain all along what this narcissistic con man is. It’s your fault that you chose to pretend not to see what he really is.

We are ruled by the dumbest and most incompetent people among us — and we have a system which allows stupid and irresponsible people to force the costs of their idiocy onto smarter and wiser people. Can we get away with that? Yes, for quite some time. But we eventually reach a point at which the dumbest of the dumb — who are habitual liars and mentally ill fools — lead us to the disasters and destruction that some of us have seen coming for years. We are approaching that point. And yet most of the idiots around us still wave their rhetorical banners of support for the evil people who are leading us to ruin — and all of them point their fingers at someone else, never noticing that their own enthusiastic support of evil is to blame. When things finally fall apart, blame yourself for your blindness to the evil, not whoever happens to be in power when it happens.

I’ve been making some changes to the site lately and there are more changes coming in the days ahead, so don’t be surprised if you some small differences. This is not a wholesale redesign, but rather the addition of some features. Since they’re smarter than I am, I’ve put Oliver and Alex in charge of the technical work, which you can see in this action photo from the control room of our media complex. I recently added a series of landing pages for readers who randomly discover the site from an Internet search. I’ve also changed the YouTube link at the top of the page to go to the new YouTube channel for video essays that reflect things I’ve already published here. (Here’s a little bit about both of the YouTube channels I’m working on.) In addition, I’m trying to move away from using Instagram, so I’m experimenting with photo plug-ins that will eventually allow me to host the pictures — cats, dogs, sunsets, whatever — that I often take. So don’t be surprised to see more changes. Thanks for your patience. Let’s hope Alex and Oliver know what they’re doing.

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