Hugs from a sweet little girl can erase stress after long work day

By David McElroy · April 23, 2019

My weary muscles ached as I walked into the restaurant for dinner Tuesday evening. I was later than usual because I’d been shooting pictures to prepare for a new real estate listing. I was hot and tired and cranky.

And then Isabella saw me.

She was playing with a couple of other little girls when she saw me, but she dropped them and came running to me. She grabbed my leg to hug me and then reached up for me to pick her up. I reached down and lifted her tiny body and she wrapped her arms around my neck.

All of a sudden, I felt very different. I had energy. I felt happy. I felt as though I must be pretty special for this beautiful little blonde lady to be so happy to see me.

Isabella is the 4-year-old daughter of one of the managers at the restaurant. She’s seen me only a couple of times before, but she accepted me quickly. The first time her mother introduced her to me, she spontaneously ran over and reached out for a hug.

Maybe she loves everybody, but I like to believe Isabella just thinks I’m special. And that makes me happy, so please don’t tell me otherwise.

We sat at my MacBook and I showed her pictures of my cats and dog. After looking at a few dozen pictures, she would call out the name of whichever one whose picture I opened. She loved them all and she would gleefully say their names as she recognized them.

We made silly pictures in PhotoBooth. We made a couple of videos in QuickTime. (See a short example below.) But she kept coming back to the animals.

After about half an hour, I told her I had to leave, but she told me I couldn’t. She held on and said she wanted me to stay. I tickled her a bit to get her happy again before I told everybody goodbye and slipped out.

I live only about a mile from there, so I went home and got Lucy. I knew Lucy would enjoy a car trip and I thought Isabella would be happy to meet Lucy.

When I got back, I went and asked her mother whether it was OK for Isabella to come outside and meet Lucy.

“Oh, yeah,” she said with a wave of her arm. “I trust you. I know you’ll take care of her.”

So Isabella came outside and met my furry girl who probably weighs twice what she does. They were both shy at first. But then Lucy licked Isabella’s face and the little blonde girl laughed and put her arms around Lucy’s neck.

And then it was time for me to go. I asked another employee to come out and hold Isabella’s hand to come back inside, but Isabella cried and said she didn’t want to go back inside. She wanted to go with me and see the cats.

But then she was pulled just inside the door. She stood there looking forlorn — as little children can do so well — and she waved. It wasn’t the adult kind of wave in which the hand moved back and forth. It was the child’s wave. Her hand was like a little fist held up as she opened and closed it.

I waved and Lucy and I walked back to the car.

“Love you,” she called out loudly to us through the slightly open door.

I still need rest. I still need sleep. It was still a long day. But I felt happy. I felt special. Because a little blonde girl loved me.

Hugs and love from a child make powerful medicine.

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Something small just made me happy. The specifics don’t matter, but I found myself smiling and I felt a kind of warm joy filling my heart and mind. In that brief moment of ecstasy, I felt the irrational desire to talk with a particular person. It wasn’t a calculated thought or a rational want. It wasn’t even that I wanted to tell the person about this particular thing. I simply felt ecstatic joy — and I somehow connected that feeling to this person. I can’t explain it. If we’re wise, we’ll pay attention to such moments, because the instincts of our hearts and minds often know more truth than our conscious and rational brains do. The same thing can be true in moments of great pain and suffering. If we pay attention to who our hearts are drawn to in such moments — of extreme joy or extreme hurt — we learn something about ourselves. I don’t know why. I only know that our gut instincts sometimes understand deep truths about ourselves that our rational brains haven’t yet figured out.

It started out as a satirical joke, but some friends liked the idea, so now it’s a real Facebook profile picture frame. If you’ve never heard of Moms Against Virtue-Signaling, let me explain. One of the dumber elements of social media is that it allows people to publicly signal their goodness and virtue to others — without actually doing anything of substance. So you see photo frames around profile photos saying things such as, “Moms Against Racism,” as though they’re standing up against those evil moms who are in favor of racism. It’s meaningless virtue-signaling and it deserves to be mocked, so I made a frame and published it on Facebook’s frame system today. If you go to your own Facebook profile picture and add a frame, then search for Moms Against Virtue-Signaling, you can select it. About a dozen of my friends are using it so far. It’s just fun satire — at least until Facebook decides it “goes against our community standards.” Or something. It’s just a fun way of mocking something that deserves to be mocked.

When I first told you about the project that would become DavidMcElroy.TV, I thought it would launch by mid-May. Since today is the last day of May — and I’m still not close to launching a finished product — here’s a brief update. The graphic above is the latest rough mockup of the format, but it’s still subject to change. Even the logo isn’t yet set in stone. Motion graphics are really difficult when you’re starting from scratch. Sunday night, my camera stopped recording, so it has to be sent off for repair. I have an older camera that I’ll keep using for testing, but I can’t launch without the better one. The audio system developed a low buzz this weekend that has me puzzled. I’ll be taking all the equipment over to the home of a local audio engineer who’s volunteered to help me figure out what I’ve done wrong. On top of all that, my on-camera performance seems to get worse with each test I do. There are days when I think I’m crazy to be attempting this. And in truth, I probably am insane to do it, but being crazy has never stopped me before. I’m at least a month away from launch and it could be a few months. Thanks for being patient — and thanks for all the support and enthusiasm for the project that you’ve sent my way.

I received the first dose of a COVID-19 vaccine Monday — and I’m happy to report that I’m neither dead nor a zombie controlled by Bill Gates and Co. Eligibility was recently opened in Alabama to everyone who’s 16 or older, so I signed up for the Pfizer vaccine at a site run by a local university. I know this is a political issue for a lot of people, but that honestly baffles me. We can disagree about whether such a vaccine should be mandatory — which I’m against — but as a voluntary choice, it seems like an easy choice now that it’s been safely given to millions of people. Is it a perfect preventative? Of course not. But the decision seemed obvious to me when looking at the statistics and evidence. I haven’t had any of the side effects that some people have experienced, but that’s supposed to be more of an issue after the second dose, which I’ll get on May 3. In the meantime, I’ll let you know if I grow a third arm — or if the secret microchip kicks in and someone starts trying to control me remotely. All kidding aside, getting the vaccine seems like a rational voluntary choice to me.

I get a lot of email from readers. Some of it is fascinating and useful. Some of it is full of confessions that people want to share with a stranger. Some people write to ask advice. What’s really surprising, though, is the small percentage that seems to come from mentally unbalanced people. When I started using the metaphor about being an alien — the tagline at the top of each page here — it never occurred to me that I’d start hearing from people who took it seriously. But every few months, I get a strange email — such as the one above from a few months back — from someone who seems to think I’m claiming to be an actual alien. The first time it happened, I laughed. By the time it became a semi-regular thing, I was simply appalled. For the record, I can provide no proof that I’m an alien, because … well … it’s just a metaphor. I do feel like an alien among human beings, but as far as I know, I’m just as earthbound as you are. It’s just a metaphor. Honest. Or at least, that’s what my lizard-beast overlords told me to say.

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