I can’t sleep tonight. There’s no physical cause. I just can’t stop myself from reliving an old hurt over and over again.
It’s not something that matters anymore. That’s why it’s so frustrating. It involves someone who’s not in my life anymore and who I don’t even want in my life. But I can’t stop feeling an awful stabbing at my heart with a pain that feels just like a physical hurt.
For years, I assumed everybody felt this way, but I slowly figured out that I have something that’s like an emotional disability — another long-term effect from childhood “programming.”
I don’t trust people very easily. If you got to know me, that might surprise you, because I can be comfortable telling people my darkest secrets pretty quickly. I can judge someone’s character and trust people about pragmatic things — honesty and safety — but it’s very rare when I can trust someone with my inner self.
My real self. My heart. Who I really am.
Without things to look forward to, the human heart gets ready to die
A year later, my father’s death looms large, but I have no regrets
Being loved is one of life’s gifts, but joy of loving is even greater
For some of us, loss of trust is a deep existential threat to heart