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David McElroy

making sense of a dysfunctional culture

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We’re neither friends nor enemies, just strangers who share the past

By David McElroy · November 3, 2019

The man walked into something like a cave and saw stalactites hanging from the roof. But these weren’t normal mineral formations. Each one contained the face and memories of someone important from his past.

I heard the man’s story this week in a book about experimental drug-assisted psychotherapy. During the experience, his unconscious was creating symbols for things it was pushing into his consciousness. And the man could have conversations with these people from the past, in a way that felt completely real to him.

I found this story oddly frightening. I imagined what it would feel like to encounter such people from my past. It gave me shivers, but it’s hard to explain why. All I can say is that when I close the door on someone from the past, I prefer not to re-open the door to something dead. I’d rather allow the memories to stand on their own.

And I’ve lived something of a waking nightmare for the past couple of days — as I’ve vividly experienced conversations with women who have been dead to me.

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Filed Under: Uncategorized Tagged With: love, psychology

‘This path leads to somewhere I think I can finally say, I’m home’

By David McElroy · October 27, 2019

I don’t know how to get home. I’m not sure I’ve ever been there.

I’m not from this place. Not really. Yes, I was born here. On this planet, in this state, not far from where I sit. But I look around and know with certainty these are not my people. I don’t really understand them and they don’t understand me. We might as well be from different planets.

I’ve been looking for home since I was a small child. We didn’t stay any place for very long. From the beginning, it was a painful blur.

Birmingham, Washington, Atlanta, Knoxville, Meridian, Anniston, Oak Grove, Pensacola, Jasper.

It was a long line of new places, new people, new situations. I had a mother, then I didn’t. I had stability, then I didn’t. I craved love and attention and approval, but being perfect was the only way I knew to pursue them. And I wasn’t perfect.

I’ve longed for something all my life. I didn’t know what to call it. I’ve longed to find my home.

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Filed Under: Uncategorized Tagged With: family, home, longing, love

When love finally dies, it’s like a fever breaks and the pain is gone

By David McElroy · October 10, 2019

I woke up one morning and the fever was gone. Suddenly, unexpectedly, with no explanation. I didn’t love her anymore.

She was gone. I accepted that, but this was more. I didn’t want her anymore. It wasn’t sour grapes. I had moped and pursued her for a couple of years. She practically begged me to. But I had given all I could give to her. I had given her every chance. Finally, the love was dead. I was drained.

It was like the breaking of a fever. One day, my heart was sick that I couldn’t have her, that she wouldn’t choose me, that she wouldn’t reverse the mistake she admitted that she had made.

And then the next day, I simply didn’t care. I don’t know how it changed. I just woke up knowing that I didn’t care anymore. The painful longing was gone. I got out of bed and casually blocked her on Facebook. It was time to cut the last remaining ties.

She never heard a word from me again, not even an explanation or a goodbye. It felt liberating.

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Filed Under: Uncategorized Tagged With: hope, hurt, love, relationships

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There’s been a lot of controversy over Bad Bunny There’s been a lot of controversy over Bad Bunny performing at the Super Bowl, so I suggest a response. I’ll put together a novelty act called Funny Bunny and the G-Men. Here’s what the costumes look like. (And the animated version doesn’t even need costumes.) Funny Bunny does satirical political songs while the G-Men chase him around. With the right humorous songs, this could be comedy gold. Who wants to write songs? 😃
This was the view on my left this evening as I dro This was the view on my left this evening as I drove home from work. This was on I-459 near the Cahaba River bridge. (I didn’t have my “real” camera in the car, so this is an iPhone photo.) #nature #naturephotography #sky #colorful #clouds #sunset #birmingham #alabama
I have always accepted as obvious the fact that yo I have always accepted as obvious the fact that you couldn’t take a halfway decent photo of the moon with a smartphone. (I don’t count the cheat that Samsung uses in some models to artificially create bits that don’t exist in the optical image.) But a friend shot a picture of the moon with her new iPhone 17 night or two ago, I so snapped one frame as I got out of the car just now. The resolution and detail aren’t great, but this is better than I expected. #nature #naturephotography #sky #moon #birmingham #alabama #iphone17pro
I hope this rainbow over I-459 on my way home is a I hope this rainbow over I-459 on my way home is a good omen for the weekend. 😃
I’m very happy to report that my promotion to st I’m very happy to report that my promotion to starship captain has finally come through, so I’ll be leaving Earth and heading to the stars very soon — just as soon as Starfleet has some uniforms in stock that fit chubby guys like me. Anybody else want to sign up and leave the planet with me. 🖖🏻#startrek
Here’s the sunset that caught my attention on my Here’s the sunset that caught my attention on my drive home just a few minutes ago. #nature #naturephotography #sky #colorful #clouds #sunset #birmingham #alabama
I go back and forth between being fascinated and b I go back and forth between being fascinated and being horrified by what AI software can do now. When image generators were awful, it was easy to laugh at them, but what I’m seeing lately blurs the line between reality and total fabrication. I just asked ChatGPT to show me a family portrait for me — with a wife and two children — based on what it predicts as looking right for me. If I just saw this photo that it created, I would think these were real people. I might even think I have amnesia and don’t remember them. But three of them don’t even exist. It’s harder and harder to know what’s real online. At least I’m telling you directly that this is fake. I’m not pretending this is my hidden family that I just haven’t told you about. #AI
This is the sky view that greeted me as I stepped This is the sky view that greeted me as I stepped out of Walmart a few minutes ago. I didn’t have my “real” camera with me, but my old iPhone 14 did a pretty decent job. #nature #naturephotography #sky #colorful #clouds #sunset #birmingham #alabama
It no longer seems to function, but this payphone It no longer seems to function, but this payphone is still sitting on the side of the road just a couple of miles from my house. I would love to know the last time somebody was able to put a coin into this thing and make a phone call.
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I’m sitting on the bedroom floor late Thursday n I’m sitting on the bedroom floor late Thursday night and Oliver just climbed onto me and demanded attention. #cat #cats #catstagram #catsofinstagram #cute #cutecat #pets #petstagram #petsofinstagram #instacat #ilovecats #birmingham #alabama
I envy the ability of our animal friends — such I envy the ability of our animal friends — such as Alex here — to be peaceful and unconcerned when our own minds are in turmoil. There are times when I wonder whether we’re the more fortunate creatures in regard to our ability to think and worry and anticipate grief that isn’t even here yet. I’m stricken with worry about Lucy, but Alex sleeps soundly, just as he should. #cat #cats #catstagram #catsofinstagram #cute #cutecat #pets #petstagram #petsofinstagram #tabby #tabbycat #instacat #ilovecats #birmingham #alabama
From the CritterCam: I caught Sam climbing up onto From the CritterCam: I caught Sam climbing up onto his heated throne for the evening just now. If the pattern holds, Alex should join him pretty soon. It makes me happy that they love this little pad so much. It’s several years old now, so I’m surprised that it still works. #cat #cats #catstagram #catsofinstagram #cute #cutecat #blackcat #blackcats #pets #petstagram #petsofinstagram #instacat #ilovecats #birmingham #alabama
Sam is a silent little sentry on guard duty in a f Sam is a silent little sentry on guard duty in a front window Thursday evening. #cat #cats #catstagram #catsofinstagram #cute #cutecat #blackcat #blackcats #pets #petstagram #petsofinstagram #instacat #ilovecats #birmingham #alabama
I just got home from work and Lucy’s still with I just got home from work and Lucy’s still with us. She’s tired and she moves very slowly, but her tail still wagged for me when I got here. We’re sitting here in the bedroom floor with the boxes of a bed frame I need to assemble. She wants to stay close to me. #dog #dogs #dogstagram #dogsofinstagram #cute #cutedog #pets #petstagram #petsofinstagram #instadog #ilovedogs #birmingham #alabama
From the CritterCam: There was some serious groomi From the CritterCam: There was some serious grooming going on between Sam and Alex before they could curl up for their mid-afternoon nap just now. #cat #cats #catstagram #catsofinstagram #cute #cutecat #pets #petstagram #petsofinstagram #instacat #ilovecats #birmingham #alabama
As I left the house for the afternoon, Oliver was As I left the house for the afternoon, Oliver was waking up from a nap on the fireplace mantle and heading to one of the windows to start watching the neighborhood instead for awhile. #cat #cats #catstagram #catsofinstagram #cute #cutecat #pets #petstagram #petsofinstagram #instacat #ilovecats #birmingham #alabama
This is the time of night when I typically reserve This is the time of night when I typically reserve some time to play with Alex. He will often go sit on his castle and meow for me to grab a toy and join him. But since I’ve been with Lucy instead, he finally closed his eyes and went to sleep without his regular play session. I’m betting that he’ll forgive me this one time. #cat #cats #catstagram #catsofinstagram #cute #cutecat #pets #petstagram #petsofinstagram #tabby #tabbycat #instacat #ilovecats #birmingham #alabama
This is the closest I’ve seen to Lucy’s tradem This is the closest I’ve seen to Lucy’s trademark “smile” in days. When she stood up a few minutes ago and let Oliver sniff her, she gave me this look when he was finished with her. I say that Lucy has been with me for 10 years, but it’s actually nine years and nine months today. If she could make it three more months, it would be exactly 10 years. (It was impossible to know for sure how old she was then, but she was roughly 2 or 3 years old.) #dog #dogs #dogstagram #dogsofinstagram #cute #cutedog #pets #petstagram #petsofinstagram #instadog #ilovedogs #birmingham #alabama
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When I first heard about this, I thought it must be satire. When I discovered it was real, I was appalled, but I still thought it must be a one-time thing from some nutty activist. But it turns out it’s the latest bit of pandering to a bunch of far-left activists who believe that a man can become a woman if he decides to claim he’s a woman. As everybody knows, men have prostate glands. Women do not. Period. End of story. Men can get prostate cancer. Women cannot. But political activists are so eager to pretend that a man claiming to be a “trans woman” is really a woman that they are insisting that “women” be included in public health messages about the issue. This is nothing but political virtue-signaling. If you’re a man, you know which parts you have. You know that you ought to be screened. Nobody is made any safer by dragging far-left gender ideology into simple medical reality.

Every time someone tries to tighten requirements around the use of absentee ballots, I hear screams from Democrats and others on the political left that such efforts are nothing but “suppression of black voters.” These protests have never made sense to me, especially because it’s never been a secret that absentee ballot fraud goes on all the time in certain areas. (Everybody knew it when I worked in politics.) The people who engage in such fraud are rarely caught — often because the local political establishment approves of the crime — but a Democrat who won a primary election in Clay County, Alabama, last year has pleaded guilty to this sort of cheating. Terry Andrew Heflin was running for a place on the Clay County Commission. He was caught ordering seven absentee ballots in the names of various voters and sending them to his post office box — after which he used the ballots to vote absentee for himself seven time. Did he have other people cast additional fraudulent ballots? We’ll never know. But in a primary in which he was able to win with only 141 votes, it wouldn’t take many fraudulent votes to change the election. The next time you hear “civil rights activists” claim that it’s just “voter suppression” to hurt blacks which is at the root of efforts to stop this fraud, remember Terry Heflin. If you care about fair and honest elections, ballot security and voter identity should matter to you.

A state legislator in Maine has been stripped of the ability to speak in the state Legislature — and her votes are not being counted on legislative issues — all because she made a truthful social media post. Rep. Laurel Libby (R-Auburn, Maine) opposes allowing boys to compete against girls’ teams in school athletics and she’s become known for making an issue of it. On Feb. 17, she posted on Facebook about a recent example that she found outrageous. She posted side-by-side photos of a boy named John who competed last year in a state track event and won fifth place against other boys two years ago — and a photo of the same boy (now called Katie) who won first place in the same event this year against girls. Whether you find this outrageous or not, Libby is clearly being honest and truthful about the objective facts of an issue of public importance. But the state Legislature censured her. Democrats decreed that she could not speak in the House and that her votes would not count on legislation — until she apologized for the outrage of telling the truth. She refused and her constituents have been unrepresented in the state House since then. The people who promote this ideology are out of touch with reality and won’t rest until they force the rest of us to join them in this delusion. But even if you agree with “trans” ideology, you should be appalled at this heavy-handed attack on political speech.

The late Steve Jobs was at the center of our culture’s transition from analog to digital. He co-founded Apple Computer. He led the team that revolutionized personal computing with the first Macintosh. As CEO of Apple, he led the development of the iPhone and later the iPad. You would think the children of such a man would be surrounded by technology. But Jobs and his wife Laureen didn’t let their children use iPads. Their home had few screens of any kind. Even though Jobs spent most of his time developing and selling Macs and iPhones and iPads, he was home with his wife and children for dinner when he was in town. The family ate together at a simple wooden table in their kitchen — and there were no digital devices or focus on popular culture. Instead, he’s said to have guided his family toward deep discussions of art, philosophy and education — with no iPads to be found. If the man who guided the development of such products chose a different path for his own children, does that suggest that his digital experience taught him that children need human connection, not screens? And does it suggest the possibility that we might be better off if we made the same choice for our families?

For four years, Donald Trump’s supporters screamed that everything that went wrong was the fault of Joe Biden. They were sometimes right and they were sometimes delusional. (Anybody who knows me understands that I can’t stand Biden any more than I can stand Trump, just for different reasons.) But for two months, Trump has rampaged through U.S. political life — vandalizing pretty much everything in sight — and the vast majority of his supporters are silent at best. Many watch as he blows up the world economy and they make excuses for him. They’re in absolute denial, even about things that Trump is doing very intentionally. Anybody who understands economics and history knows that tariffs are a terrible idea from a pragmatic point of view. Anybody who values individual freedom knows that tariffs are massive taxes on individuals — and they’re a tool of political control over the ability of people to trade freely. Trump is the antithesis of everything which political conservatives stood for just a few years ago. It’s far past time for people who claim to be conservatives to reclaim the principles and values which they used to claim — and stop this mad man before he can accelerate the day when we experience economic and social collapse. Open your eyes to reality and reject this lying narcissist.

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