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David McElroy

making sense of a dysfunctional culture

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How would you see your body if nobody told you it was flawed?

By David McElroy · May 26, 2019

Have you heard about Dr. Oz’s amazing “detox water”? If you drink four glasses of this “naturally flavored water” every day, it will “clean” your cells and increase your body’s fat-burning by 77 percent.

And there’s something you can add to your coffee or tea which causes you to lose 59 percent more of your cellulite. (More than what? I don’t know.) And there’s something else you can mix with your coffee to turn your ugly, thin hair into thick, beautiful hair.

Do you believe any of this? You would probably say no. You would probably laugh at all of it, just as I do. You might even be educated enough to know that there’s really no such thing as a “detox,” unless what you’re talking about what a normally functioning liver does every day.

But people keep buying these sorts of publications, such as this one I saw in a grocery store tonight. They keep buying products from fraudulent vendors who con them. Why?

It’s because everything about modern culture tells you that your body is ugly — and your only salvation is in buying products which will finally allow you to be good enough.

And it’s all a lie.

Why do you believe your body should have virtually no fat on it? It’s because your culture has taught you this lie. Someone decided that skinny people who look almost emaciated are the new standards for our bodies. (That wasn’t even close to true until after modern media came along.)

Then that image was projected to you in movies and fashion and everywhere else. It’s what people came to praise and believe was attractive. And if your body is naturally something outside of that — which is true for about 95 percent of people — you feel the shame of believing you are flawed.

Why do you believe “cellulite” is ugly? Who told you that? Who decided it was ugly? It’s completely arbitrary. It makes just as much sense — or as little sense — as declaring that a face with dimples is ugly. But people have been taught this, so women feel shame if their natural bodies store fat in this perfectly natural way.

I constantly hear women today complain about their breasts. Some believe they’re too big. Some believe they’re too small. Some are humiliated because one of their breasts — or nipples or areloas — is sized differently than the other. Many complain about “saggy” breasts. From what I’ve been able to pick up, they believe this because the breasts they see in porn are pointy — a bit like metal cones poking forward.

Who taught you that your breasts were “wrong”? Who taught you they were supposed to be identical? Who taught you how they must be shaped? Why do you believe these things?

I didn’t realize for many years — believe it or not — that many men are paranoid about their penis size. When I first heard that, I thought it was a joke. Why would anyone possibly care? Who told you that one size or shape or whatever is “wrong”? Why do you believe this?

I discovered last year that a large penis was a point of shame for many ancient people. Some ancient texts make fun of men with large penises. Why did they believe that? Why do people today believe what they do? I have no idea and don’t care.

A lot of what we believe is flawed about our looks is because the media are constantly showing us specimens of humanity which are not typical. Those atypical people populate the media we consume and we somehow get the idea that’s what we ought to look like.

Then there are the charlatans who want to make money from our insecurities. Doctors or fake doctors are willing to rip you off by selling you things which you don’t need — to solve problems which are essentially non-existent.

Of course, some of us do have things we need to change about our bodies — for health reasons. But the frauds who offer these shortcuts know that you and I can be easy marks for them for one simple reason.

We like shortcuts. We don’t like doing the difficult things that are necessary to making the changes we really need. So we have charlatans selling “cures” that don’t work to people who suspend their critical thinking skills in order to hope to cure problems which mostly don’t exist.

If you lived before the days of media, you wouldn’t know what the world’s “pretty people” looked like. The odds would be exceedingly rare that you would have ever seen such a person. You and the people around you would be pretty normal — some more attractive than others, but few who were exceptional.

I enjoy beauty. I have a strong appreciation for a beautiful woman, although my standards are sometimes strikingly different about some things than the standards of our culture. There’s nothing wrong with appreciating beauty. But there is something very wrong with paying so much attention to the lies of the culture that you believe you are flawed and constantly need fixing.

You are more attractive than you fear. There are things about you which aren’t perfect. The same is true for me. But if we didn’t have people around to tell us how ugly our flaws are, would we really think this?

Wouldn’t we be better to change our thinking — to quit listening to the fraudsters who just want to make a buck by selling us things? Shouldn’t we find other ways to eliminate our shame about “flaws” which aren’t really there?

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As part of my effort to rid my life of social media, I will no longer display links to my two Instagram accounts here. Those accounts will be dormant for the time being and will eventually be deleted. I plan to have a method for displaying photos here instead, but the solutions I’ve tested so far have been disappointing. I’m still working on it.

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Sunset, Leeds, Alabama — August 27, 2026 Sunset, Leeds, Alabama — August 27, 2026
Sunset, Leeds, Alabama — August 19, 2026 Sunset, Leeds, Alabama — August 19, 2026
When I got home at midnight Monday, I was doing so When I got home at midnight Monday, I was doing some work in the studio and Oliver wanted to join me, so I showed him around to acclimate him to the place again. He rarely goes in there, but I have pictures of him in that studio on the night I brought him home as a kitten. 😺
Earlier this week, I found two photos of Lucy and Earlier this week, I found two photos of Lucy and me that I had never seen. I loved finding the pictures, but seeing these photos left me thinking about the effect it has on us when we lose an animal we love — and it was also a reminder of how much my life has changed for the last nine months it’s been since I lost her. I wrote an essay about this. You can find it as the most recent post at davidmcelroy.org right now if you’re interested. I really do miss this sweet girl.
When I take lightning pictures, I’m always hoping When I take lightning pictures, I’m always hoping to get just one usable photo, but I got two dramatic images tonight. You might recognize the water tower and communication tower that you’ve seen in many of my sunset photos. This is about a mile from my house in Leeds, which is just east of Birmingham.
For those who are in places where it’s miserably h For those who are in places where it’s miserably hot today, here is a minute of light rain and gentle thunder from my back yard late Saturday afternoon. It’s very relaxing to stand at my back door and watch this, especially since the heat is pretty mild today — 80 degrees (about 26 celsius) — for July in the American South.
Alex was willing to cooperate with me for a new po Alex was willing to cooperate with me for a new portrait late Wednesday night. It’s been roughly three and a half years now since the cold night when I was able to lure him out from behind a garbage dumpster into a trap — but I don’t think he’s sorry at this point that he fell for the trick. 😺
This is the face of a man who’s thrilled that the This is the face of a man who’s thrilled that the weekend is finally here. It was a very long (and productive) week, but the time has finally come that I have time to write and read and think. Late Friday night, I’m at the McDonald’s near my house with a Diet Dr Pepper and a MacBook. For me, it’s like Cheers without the booze.
Donald Trump has figured out who to blame for the Donald Trump has figured out who to blame for the the D.C. Reflecting Pool turning green. The dastardly deed was carried out by a specially trained squad of Antifa cats trained by the Far Left. It’s not his fault. Arrest all the cats! #satire #parody
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Alex is on his way home from the vet, where he had Alex is on his way home from the vet, where he had his annual shots. He didn’t like it any more than his brothers did Tuesday.
Late Tuesday night, Oliver is finally starting to Late Tuesday night, Oliver is finally starting to forgive me for taking him to the vet for his annual shots today.
At the vet’s office Tuesday, I met a sweet woman w At the vet’s office Tuesday, I met a sweet woman who recently rescued this tiny kitten. Her dog — who was also there for shots — seemed to love the kitten and was protective of her. (She named the kitten Dot after her late mother.) I loved watching the kitten crawl all over the woman. 😺
From the CritterCam: Since Alex didn’t make it on From the CritterCam: Since Alex didn’t make it on this trip to the vet, he’s at home by himself just hanging out on the cat bed on my desk.
The cats are getting their annual shots today and The cats are getting their annual shots today and Oliver isn’t happy about it. Actually, I could find only two carriers, so I brought Oliver and Sam on this trip. It’s going to be too late to make another trip today for Alex, so he’ll have to wait until tomorrow. I wanted to make sure they’re all up to date before I potentially bring the tuxedo cat inside for good.
The feral tuxedo cat is purring, but he’s still ne The feral tuxedo cat is purring, but he’s still nervous. He’s of two minds. He wants me to love on him, but he also wants to jump down and be unfettered — for a few seconds before he comes back to rub against my leg and demand attention again. He’s confused about what he wants. It sounds like some of my saying relationships.
Look who just showed up to see me. I hadn’t seen h Look who just showed up to see me. I hadn’t seen him for about five days, but he was waiting for me in the driveway when I got home after work Monday. I have him in the house and he’s sniffing around right now — separated from the other cats, of course. I’m relieved to see that he’s fine. I had been worried about him.
Oliver isn’t happy about having to go back to work Oliver isn’t happy about having to go back to work on this Monday morning, but at least he has his motivational poster on the wall next to his desk. 😺
I’m letting the tuxedo cat stay inside the house f I’m letting the tuxedo cat stay inside the house for a couple of hours late Sunday afternoon as I allow him to acclimate himself to the indoor world. Today is also the first time I’ve fed him in the house. He’s still very nervous, but he’s getting more comfortable.
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It hasn’t happened yet, but there’s a possibility that I might be taking in a fourth feline. A couple of months ago, a cat-loving neighbor asked whether I’d seen a “tuxedo cat” hanging out in the neighborhood. I hadn’t, but this guy eventually wandered past my house a few weeks later — and we haven’t been able to find evidence that he has a home. I’ve been giving him water and food for the last week and he finally let me pet him two nights ago. He’s purred for me two nights in a row and he let me take a low-quality selfie with him Thursday night. Tonight, though, he let me pick him up and bring him inside to look around. This went surprisingly well, as you can see from this photo. I don’t know whether he’ll be joining the family, but I’m certain that Alex, Oliver and Sam would vote no, at least until they get to know him. I’m trying to make certain he doesn’t have a home, but if he does join us, what do you suppose his name will be?

It turns out that the radical far left has been training “Antifa cats” to sabotage anything important to Donald Trump. Everything he did was perfect. Honest. It was all the cats’ fault. Arrest all the cats! This is the latest of my ridiculous satirical shorts. Please go watch it. Then “like” it and subscribe. Please. I’m begging you. (Too much?) Although a couple of the previous videos have had views in the hundreds, most have still been seen by fewer than 20 people. So I seem to be having trouble letting people know that page exists.

Here’s the latest of my ridiculous parody shorts. It crossed my mind Tuesday to wonder what a slick and fast-talking car dealer might do right now to try to turn the high price of gasoline to his advantage. So I conceived of a fat and lovable character who tried to sell cars that don’t use any fuel — and then I started wondering if it would be funnier if all the characters were felines. Designing the King Cashpaw character took about four hours, but the rest took only another four hours, so this was a relatively quick piece that virtually wrote itself. I know it’s almost impossible for these parody videos to find a larger audience, but at least they amuse me — and there are 19 of them on my YouTube page now. The first few were very limited, but they’re getting more complex.

The Republican Party is dead. It still exists in name, of course, but it’s nothing but a shell. All that’s left are idiots and stooges and con men of the MAGA party. When Donald Trump is gone — which won’t be long — those populist idiots and pragmatic fools will have no one to follow. Democrats will thrive. They will take more power than ever and they will push the federal government further to the radical far left than ever. When that happens, don’t just blame Trump if you’re a conservative. Blame every person who has claimed to be a conservative and has given up on principles, character and everything else that Republicans once claimed to stand for. As someone who worked as a GOP political consultant for many years, this is disgusting and disturbing to me. Those who have enabled Trump to have almost unchecked power are going to be shocked when they see what they will unleash in the long run. It’s been plain all along what this narcissistic con man is. It’s your fault that you chose to pretend not to see what he really is.

We are ruled by the dumbest and most incompetent people among us — and we have a system which allows stupid and irresponsible people to force the costs of their idiocy onto smarter and wiser people. Can we get away with that? Yes, for quite some time. But we eventually reach a point at which the dumbest of the dumb — who are habitual liars and mentally ill fools — lead us to the disasters and destruction that some of us have seen coming for years. We are approaching that point. And yet most of the idiots around us still wave their rhetorical banners of support for the evil people who are leading us to ruin — and all of them point their fingers at someone else, never noticing that their own enthusiastic support of evil is to blame. When things finally fall apart, blame yourself for your blindness to the evil, not whoever happens to be in power when it happens.

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