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David McElroy

An Alien Sent to Observe the Human Race

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fraud

Who was this attractive woman? Why did her story not ring true?

By David McElroy · September 20, 2019

Her name was Emily. She lived just outside Nashville. And she was interested in dating me.

That was in late 2002, which was 17 years ago. This is the only photo she ever gave me. We met on a dating site called Christian Cafe, where I met several women who I dated during that period.

Emily was smart and charming. She was attractive, but not so much that I was blinded by looks or felt she was an ego-driven beauty queen. She was just a fascinating woman in her early 20s — and we hit it off right away.

We chatted on AOL Instant Messenger (AIM) at first and then started talking a lot on the phone. Within a couple of weeks, we were talking about meeting, but things came up at the last second each of the times we made plans.

And then the truth came out. Emily didn’t really exist.

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Filed Under: Uncategorized Tagged With: dating, fraud, love, online dating

How would you see your body if nobody told you it was flawed?

By David McElroy · May 26, 2019

Have you heard about Dr. Oz’s amazing “detox water”? If you drink four glasses of this “naturally flavored water” every day, it will “clean” your cells and increase your body’s fat-burning by 77 percent.

And there’s something you can add to your coffee or tea which causes you to lose 59 percent more of your cellulite. (More than what? I don’t know.) And there’s something else you can mix with your coffee to turn your ugly, thin hair into thick, beautiful hair.

Do you believe any of this? You would probably say no. You would probably laugh at all of it, just as I do. You might even be educated enough to know that there’s really no such thing as a “detox,” unless what you’re talking about what a normally functioning liver does every day.

But people keep buying these sorts of publications, such as this one I saw in a grocery store tonight. They keep buying products from fraudulent vendors who con them. Why?

It’s because everything about modern culture tells you that your body is ugly — and your only salvation is in buying products which will finally allow you to be good enough.

And it’s all a lie.

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Filed Under: Uncategorized Tagged With: beauty, fraud, health, psychology

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Ever since a neighbor strung some decorative light Ever since a neighbor strung some decorative lights in his back yard a year or so ago, I’ve been trying to figure out how to photograph them. In person, the effect is stunning on the yard, but I’ve struggled to figure out any sort of perspective that would be interesting. I’m still not entirely happy with this, but it’s th best I’ve been able to come up with so far. #lights #backyard #birmingham #alabama
It’s 27 degrees in Birmingham after midnight, bu It’s 27 degrees in Birmingham after midnight, but the thick fog covering my neighborhood right now makes it feel magical enough to ignore the miserable cold for a few minutes. #nature #naturephotography #fog #trees #night #birmingham #alabama
As I was getting into the car after work just afte As I was getting into the car after work just after 5 p.m., I looked up and saw this beautiful full moon shining through the bare limbs of a nearby tree. #nature #naturephotography #tree #moon #birmingham #alabama
Here are the top nine photos I’ve posted on this Here are the top nine photos I’ve posted on this account in 2020, as determined by your “likes.” #topnine
It’s very foggy in my neighborhood as Lucy and I It’s very foggy in my neighborhood as Lucy and I take our walk late Saturday night. #nature #naturephotography #fog #trees #night #birmingham #alabama
The moonlight is bright and widely diffused in the The moonlight is bright and widely diffused in the heavy fog in my neighborhood tonight. #moonlight #trees #night #birmingham #alabama
This was the Birmingham sunset just a few minutes This was the Birmingham sunset just a few minutes before 5 p.m. Wednesday. #nature #naturephotography #sky #colorful #clouds #sunset #birmingham #alabama
I just remembered a photo I took as I walked out o I just remembered a photo I took as I walked out of my front door at lunch to come back to the office. As you can see, we still have quite a few leaves on most of our trees. #nature #naturephotography #sky #tree #autumn #birmingham #alabama
As I was coming back from the bank just a moment a As I was coming back from the bank just a moment ago, I saw some lovely color along Shades Crest Road in the Bluff Park neighborhood. #nature #naturephotography #sky #colorful #clouds #sunset #birmingham #alabama
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Molly keeps a watchful eye on her human. If she’ Molly keeps a watchful eye on her human. If she’s not careful, she might accidentally purr if he sneaks up on her and forces her to get unwanted loving. And that’s intolerable to her. #cat #cats #catstagram #catsofinstagram #cute #cutecat #pets #petstagram #petsofinstagram #greeneyes #instacat #ilovecats #birmingham #alabama #caturdayeve
For “throwback Thursday,” here’s a shot of M For “throwback Thursday,” here’s a shot of Molly’s late sister, Bessie, who I lost almost three years ago. This was shortly after I brought Molly and Bessie in as kittens in about 2008. They looked pretty much identical as kittens and grew up to look like twins as well. #cats #tbt
Merlin is a benevolent ruler, but he never lets yo Merlin is a benevolent ruler, but he never lets you forget who is head of the royal household around here. #cat #cats #catstagram #catsofinstagram #cute #cutecat #pets #petstagram #petsofinstagram #merlin2024 #instacat #ilovecats #birmingham #alabama
Late Tuesday night, Thomas has everybody under obs Late Tuesday night, Thomas has everybody under observation. He’s a little feline spy with a license to kill. #cat #cats #catstagram #catsofinstagram #cute #cutecat #pets #petstagram #petsofinstagram #tabby #tabbycat #instacat #ilovecats #birmingham #alabama
I love it when I check the remote CritterCam from I love it when I check the remote CritterCam from work and see the cats curled up peacefully as Merlin and Thomas are here. #cats
Molly examines the latest box from Amazon with an Molly examines the latest box from Amazon with an expert eye and judges it harshly, concluding that it is not up to her high standards. #cat #cats #catstagram #catsofinstagram #cute #cutecat #pets #petstagram #petsofinstagram #greeneyes #instacat #ilovecats #birmingham #alabama
Merlin took over my camera to use as a pillow toni Merlin took over my camera to use as a pillow tonight. It doesn’t look the least bit comfortable, but he’s been sleeping like this. #cat #cats #catstagram #catsofinstagram #cute #cutecat #pets #petstagram #petsofinstagram #merlin2024 #instacat #ilovecats #birmingham #alabama
Lucy watches me as I start a load of laundry in th Lucy watches me as I start a load of laundry in the washing machine. She seems to think maybe she could come in and help with the job — so we could start her walk sooner. #dog #dogs #dogstagram #dogsofinstagram #cute #cutedog #pets #petstagram #petsofinstagram #instadog #ilovedogs #birmingham #alabama
Molly watches over her kingdom from the end of the Molly watches over her kingdom from the end of the fireplace mantle Sunday night. #cat #cats #catstagram #catsofinstagram #cute #cutecat #pets #petstagram #petsofinstagram #greeneyes #instacat #ilovecats #birmingham #alabama
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David likes email, but can’t reply to every message. I get a surprisingly large number of requests for relationship advice — seriously — but time doesn’t permit a response to all of them. (Sorry.)

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Briefly

I’ve never been attracted to skinny women. There’s nothing wrong with someone who’s naturally thin, but it’s never been my preference. What has shocked me, though, is the judgment I’ve heard from women all through my life — about themselves and others — about who’s “fat.” I concluded long ago that most women in our culture have been brainwashed to believe that skinny is attractive — and that anything other than skinny is ugly. I first assumed that I was the oddball — for preferring women with bigger and heavier bodies — but I’m coming to the conclusion that most men naturally feel this way to one extent or another. I just ran across new research by a couple of Northwestern University psychology professors that shows that women seriously overestimate how much a straight man will be attracted to a skinny woman. In a perfect world, we would all be at a healthy weight, but when it comes to attractiveness, too heavy is more attractive than skinny. At least to me — and to a lot of men, too.

Years ago, I heard a question that seemed very insightful at the time. You’ve probably heard it, too. What would you do if you knew you couldn’t fail? The question is intended to help you uncover things you really want to do, but which you’re afraid to try — for fear of failure. In an interview today, I heard the great marketing guru Seth Godin give a different point of view. He said the better question is to ask what you would do even if you knew it would fail. That struck me as far more insightful than the original version. We ought to be doing what we know is right, not what will maximize our success or praise from others. There are some battles that are worth fighting even if you believe you’re doomed to failure. Those battles are often for love or important ideas or our children. Some things are simply worth fighting for — and the truth is that you might win anyway. Do the right thing. Take the chance.

The more I understand about myself, about human nature and about the nature of reality, the more I realize I’m a radical by the standards of both Modernism and Postmodernism. Seeing the things which I’m stumbling toward makes me an enemy of many of the core ideas upon which contemporary culture is built. It exposes the culture as a monstrous lie — like a dangerous infection that’s slowly destroying what human were created to be. My “inner observer” has always known that truth was found in the ideas of the Enlightenment, but I’m slowly finding words to explain what has merely been instinct until now. The Enlightenment was humanity’s great leap forward, but shallow and arrogant thinkers for the next two centuries threw away the fruits of that achievement. We can’t go forward as a species until we go back to correct this intellectual and spiritual error — and part of that is acknowledging that our collective attempts to do away with our Creator will always fail.

I’ve come to believe that some of us — including me — aren’t very good at knowing how to be happy. I don’t mean that in the sense that happy talk and positive thinking should be able to make us happy regardless of the circumstances. I mean that some of us had so much experience with being unhappy when we were young that we were trained to be unhappy — and that being happy is an unconsciously uncomfortable thing. When I look at times in my past when I should have been happy, it rarely lasted. I believe now that I found reasons to be unhappy — and caused real problems for myself — because being comfortable and happy felt so foreign to my programming. If I’m right, this means that some of us have to do more than just change our circumstances. It means we have to learn how to accept the happiness that we unconsciously fear we don’t deserve.

After I wrote last night about being happy, I thought of an old song that mirrored what I was feeling. After listening to the entire album, I found it remarkable how well the emotions of that music match my own heart at this point in my life. Bob Bennett’s “Matters of the Heart” came out while I was in college. Even after all these years, it holds up really well, and you can listen to the entire album on YouTube. The specific song which matched my feelings last night was “Madness Dancing,” but I still find every song on the album to be strong with the exception of the eighth and ninth. (The song about his parents, called “1951,” is especially poignant.) In fact, the opening and closing songs paint a picture of my heart at its best now in these lines: “A light shining in this heart of darkness, A new beginning and a miracle, Day by day the integration of the concrete and the spiritual.” It’s old music that you’ve probably never heard, but it means a lot to me.

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