More than ever, big crisis makes me long for family to take care of

By David McElroy · March 15, 2020

My heart beats a little quicker this week. There’s crisis in the air. There are problems to solve. And my instinct is to take care of the people I love.

We all react to a crisis in different ways. Mine is to want to take charge and create safety and stability for a family. So much of that sounds ridiculous in rational terms, but it’s who I am at the core.

I don’t have a family. I don‘t have anybody to take care of — except for my dog Lucy and my cats Merlin, Thomas and Molly. On top of that, I‘m in a period of transition. There’s nobody who loves me. There’s nobody who’s counting on me. Nobody needs me.

But I ache for someone to count on me. I long for a wife and children who look to me to help guide us through what could be difficult economic days ahead.

And I find myself saying once more, “Let me take care of you.”

Nine years ago, John Paul White and Joy Williams wrote a song called “To Whom it May Concern” and released it on the album Barton Hollow, which was their last album as the group called the Civil Wars. (It’s embedded below.)

Why are you so far from me?
In my arms is where you ought to be
How long will you make me wait?
I don’t know how much more I can take
I missed you but I haven’t met you
Oh but I want to
How I do

I don’t even know who you are anymore. I just know you’re out there somewhere. And I know that you need me as much as I need you, even if you don’t know it yet.

I keep hearing people describe this period as a bleak and scary time, but I really don’t see it that way. There’s certainly a legitimate crisis. Many people will get sick and some will die. We face even broader dangers from the economic contraction this will bring.

But I don’t see it as especially scary.

I just see it as another fairly routine danger that life throws at us from time to time. You deal with the danger. You protect those you love. And life goes on here on Earth, just as it always has.

We have troubles ahead, but people who love each other and trust each other can get through this together.

I have no concerns about whether I’ll survive this crisis and come out stronger for it. I have no doubt that I can help a family negotiate these unsafe waters and come out better on the other side.

But I’m not in the position to do that, because you’re not here. I don’t know who my family is.

The song I mentioned ends with these words: “Dear whoever you might be, I’m still waiting patiently.”

That’s what I say, too. I don’t know who you are anymore. I don’t know where you are. I just know I’m aching for your presence and your love.

I’m still waiting. But it would be a lie to say I’m waiting patiently.

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On a live awards show Sunday night, one man made a joke about a female celebrity. The husband of the celebrity was offended and hit the man who made the joke. Or maybe it was staged for entertainment. Who knows? Who cares? Social media is full of discussion — and even arguments — about this idiocy today. This baffles me. Let’s assume for a moment that the event happened as reported. People have been having such idiotic fights ever since there have been humans. Half the bars in the world see such brief dustups regularly. It simply doesn’t matter. The fact that so many people believe they need to talk about this — or even need to have opinions about it — is more evidence of the bizarre media brainwashing that convinces many to care passionately about brain-dead trivia. Your life will be happier and saner if you focus on yourself, your family and your friends, not on whatever scripted (or spontaneous) bilge that the media wants to pipe into your home.

I’m in the middle of migrating this website to new servers this week. This means you might encounter some unexpected behavior until I get all the bugs worked out. Clicking on my links (including this one) might cause your browser to give you the message that it’s a site without a current security certificate. It’s not actually unsafe, but there’s something which isn’t yet set up for the security certificate. I apologize for any such errors you might encounter while the process is going on. If you notice any problems with content which didn’t migrate properly, I would appreciate you letting me know the details at davidmcelroy@mac.com. Thanks for your patience.

I often wonder what animals think when they look at us and consider the society we’ve created. Yes, I know this is fanciful and unrealistic, but what if they could? Would they be astounded at how we treat each other? Would they be disgusted by the ugliness and pettiness which fill so many of our daily interactions? The truth is that I’m feeling pretty disgusted with humanity tonight. I made the mistake of reading some online interactions that I should have avoided — and it sickened me. The people involved appeared to be vile and stupid and arrogant. I wish I could pretend they’re a tiny minority, but I know better. It’s times such as this when I most need to escape much of “civilization” and disconnect from their world. If humans are going to be worthy of “ruling this planet,” we have a lot of growth to do. And I fear that growth is nowhere in sight. So my buddy Thomas, above, and all of his friends would be right to judge us harshly — and to think, “Why do you folks get to be in charge?”

I should have expected this, but I honestly didn’t. The article I wrote last week about disagreements over treatment for autistic children brought me angry emails. You could almost call it “hate mail.” Of the five emails about it so far, two have been to tell me that I’m wrong to even listen to critics of the most popular therapy for autistic children — and the other three tell me I’m wrong for not condemning the treatment as the “obvious” abuse it is. If you read the article, you know I didn’t take a position on the issue, because I simply don’t know enough to have an opinion. But by talking about the issue, I stepped into a heated controversy. The emails from the two sides convinced me of nothing. But they did give me even more empathy for the unfortunate parents who have to figure out for themselves where the truth lies for their children.

Have you ever had what you thought was a new idea — and then discovered that “old you” had the same idea years ago? I had that experience tonight. And it’s been wonderful. I came up with an idea tonight for a very short satirical film that would be a promotion for a fictitious college. The point is to make the college promote — as good things — everything which is actually terrible about most modern colleges. Then I remembered a fake college that I invented back when I was in college. I had created student recruitment brochures and various newsletters back then, so I decided to call my “new” college by the same name I’d invented years ago: Ochita College. As I searched my computer for any old material I might still have about Ochita from the past, I discovered an email I sent to someone in 2009 — outlining essentially the same idea which I came up with tonight. Since I didn’t remember writing that, it felt like magic. So my next film project just might be this one instead. If all goes well, you might soon see “Ochita College: Your Future Starts Here.” This should be fun.

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