Do you obey petty rules? Or do you fight The Man in hopes of change?

By David McElroy · June 2, 2011

It’s an age-old question for people who face authority they don’t want to obey: Is it better to quietly follow orders to avoid punishment or is it better to defy authority and fight for change?

The answer isn’t as clear-cut as it might first appear. What’s more, there’s no one correct answer. But I want to tell you the conclusion I’ve come to for myself.

Many of my friends are committed activists for freedom. Because of that, some of them attend various protests and engage in provocative acts of civil disobedience. I have a lot of respect for people who take this route, and I understand why the make the choice they do. There have been times in history when such attempts have brought about change, such as during the U.S. civil rights movement of the ’50s and ’60s. I don’t happen to believe it’s the right approach today, though, so it’s not my way. However, I’m not going to tell other people what’s right for them, because a) it’s their choice and b) I might be wrong.

If the only way — or even the best way — of achieving a more free society was to get the state’s co-operation in modifying its rules, I might possibly choose their way. But I think it’s ultimately smarter and more useful to find solutions outside the state entirely.

The route I choose is to obey the rules as much as possible — out of pragmatism, not out of love or duty — and look for ways to legally and safely move beyond the statist system we’re a part of now. If I believed there were no alternative to the current state system, I might be frustrated and end up engaging in civil disobedience or protests myself. But I believe change is possible otherwise, so I think the pragmatic thing is to obey the rules to stay out of trouble — all the while looking for principled and pragmatic ways out.

With the growing “free cities” movement, there are going to be opportunities for change around the world very soon. I don’t know for sure where the first successes of that approach might be, but I believe building something constructive — within a framework where others have an incentive to allow it to happen — is a far smarter route to change than protesting petty rules.

If you choose to protest petty laws and petition the state to give you more freedom, I respect your choice and I support your right to do it. But it’s not going to be my way. I want change that’s much bigger than that.

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The better I know myself, the more I realize that my core fault — and the source of many other failings in me — is that of believing on a deep level that everyone and everything in my world must be perfect, especially me. If I had seen any of this in myself as recently as 10 years ago, I would have dismissed it as a small failing that showed up only every now and then, but I now see it as the wellspring from which my other sins are born. It’s such an insidious belief — and one that can look on the surface like a reasonable desire to be good and right — that it’s hard to acknowledge it as the inner cancer it is. But until I understood this, it was always going to be impossible for me to get over my deep shame about my imperfection or to accept the love of another person, because she is bound to be flawed, too.

If it’s not yet spring where you are, you can at least enjoy 60 seconds of spring in the South with me. This was just outside my office late Thursday afternoon. Don’t you need a relaxing break today? See it on YouTube by clicking here.

It pays to be nice to the employees at Walmart — and everywhere else, for that matter. I was just in Walmart to buy some kitty litter when one of the employees called me over with a conspiratorial tone: “Hey, David, do you need some toilet paper?” she almost whispered. She had found a giant package hidden somewhere and she said she had been saving it for someone she really liked. So I’m the proud new owner of 24 additional mega rolls of toilet paper, which are worth something like $748 on the black market. On a more serious note, be good to people when you have a chance, as this employee was for me. And remember that people remember the way you treat them. I wouldn’t have treated this woman and her co-workers a bit differently in the past if I’d known she would someday do me this small favor, but there are benefits to treating people well, even if that’s not your purpose. Be good to each other.

My neighbor Cora — a retired teacher — called me while I was driving to the office earlier today to remind me that she wants to take me out to dinner sometime. We’ve talked about going out together, but we’ve never gotten around to coordinating a time. As she was about to get off the phone, she said, “I love you. You’re such a good neighbor!” And I told her that I loved her, too. I wonder how upset the racists of the unquestioned Jim Crow world — only about six decades ago — would have been that a white man and his elderly black neighbor care abut each other in such a way. There’s still a lot wrong with racial attitudes in the world today, but small things such as this remind me that we’ve come a long way.

If you have children, it’s important to deal with how they might be feeling as they react to the fears of COVID-19 as the danger grows. There’s a lot of fear among adults right now, but children are even less equipped to handle fears they sense from adults around them. My friend Josh Whitman has experience doing a lot of things and one of them is school administration. Josh and his wife are raising two young sons of their own in a Birmingham suburb, and he’s been thinking a lot for the last few weeks about how this societal fear affects children. He’s written a short article giving some wise and insightful tips with concrete steps you can take to help your children during this time of crisis — things which might not have occurred to me — so I highly recommend it.

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