At every stage of my life, I’ve raged against authority — because my father made me so terrified of being controlled — but I’ve also begged for someone to give me permission to pursue what I wanted.
I needed some authority’s approval and permission, but I was angry that I didn’t feel as though I could just stand on my own. Every time I’ve wanted to throw myself into some project — such as a new business — I’ve felt as though I was paralyzed — until someone gave me permission.
After all these years, I’ve still been unconsciously waiting for my father to give me permission to be myself.
This is the next in a series of videos dealing with issues that come up for me to think about as I write a book about my childhood experience of growing up with a narcissistic father. You can visit that YouTube channel to subscribe to future videos. (Liking and subscribing help me quite a bit in helping others to see the videos.) Or can can watch this video below.

Why is real love so hard to find? Look into a mirror for the culprit
Connection with a child can make routine day feel more meaningful
If I look closely at my old self, there’s a lot which is now dead
Meet the new neighbors: Why rules aren’t always such a bad thing
I’m not certain artists ever get to be themselves when they perform
Widow: ‘Things that mattered yesterday do not matter today’
Forgiveness has more power than political agenda in hateful tragedy
Lives change in moments of truth when we stop lying to ourselves