“So who’s gonna watch you die?”
Fifteen years after I first heard that line in the chorus of a Death Cab for Cutie song, it remains one of the most devastating questions I’ve heard. It was a gut punch to me because I didn’t know the answer for myself — and I still don’t.
In the song, “What Sarah Said,” the singer recalls being in a hospital watching and waiting as a loved one dies. (You can listen to the song below.) He recounts all the sights and sounds and smells of the intensive care unit. Then he says what’s really on his mind:
But I’m thinking of what Sarah said:
“Love is watching someone die…”
I’ve been thinking about life and death even more than usual lately. I keep thinking that the real answer to the question — of who’s going to be there — is about mutual trust. So who do you trust — who also wants to trust you?

The plan sounded fair at the time, but why did I pay for everything?
Without community, we no longer know each other, in life or death
Some moms can’t handle the job, but they do the best they can
Rush Limbaugh is just as partisan and ignorant as MSNBC’s Ed Schultz
The best romantic relationships end up becoming mutual rescue
Identity crisis may be long-coming integration of warring parts of me
When love finally dies, it’s like a fever breaks and the pain is gone
Very few things warm my heart and fill me with joy like babies