At every stage of my life, I’ve raged against authority — because my father made me so terrified of being controlled — but I’ve also begged for someone to give me permission to pursue what I wanted.
I needed some authority’s approval and permission, but I was angry that I didn’t feel as though I could just stand on my own. Every time I’ve wanted to throw myself into some project — such as a new business — I’ve felt as though I was paralyzed — until someone gave me permission.
After all these years, I’ve still been unconsciously waiting for my father to give me permission to be myself.
This is the next in a series of videos dealing with issues that come up for me to think about as I write a book about my childhood experience of growing up with a narcissistic father. You can visit that YouTube channel to subscribe to future videos. (Liking and subscribing help me quite a bit in helping others to see the videos.) Or can can watch this video below.

I need a romantic partner who’s already facing her inner demons
Conflict pushes inner buttons to make me feel like child in trouble
It’s official: U.S. government debt no longer gets top rating from S&P
Face the facts: U.S. Constitution is dead document with no meaning
Whose life is it anyway? Police taser man trying to protect home from fire
Creators must be wary of making propaganda or work for own ego
She took an easy way to escape risk, but she’s left to deal with empty life
Learning to love and accept yourself can be your first step toward healing