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David McElroy

making sense of a dysfunctional culture

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We often value a love only after we’ve carelessly thrown it away

By David McElroy · April 2, 2022

“I have often thought of you,” said Estella. … “There was a long hard time when I kept far from me the remembrance of what I had thrown away when I was quite ignorant of its worth. But since my duty has not been incompatible with the admission of that remembrance, I have given it a place in my heart.”
— Charles Dickens, “Great Expectations”

About 12 years ago, I almost married a brilliant and beautiful woman. A month before we were to be married, though, I backed out. I broke her heart. And I eventually regretted it.

But by the time I realized I had made a mistake — maybe six months later — it was too late. I told her I had been wrong and begged her to take me back. But I had hurt her and she was already moving on. So she broke my heart.

Over time, each of us regretted throwing away the love we had had from the other. But our timing was off — and our regrets were at different times — so our lives went in very different directions.

I’ve been wondering lately how different our decisions about love would be if we knew what we faced in the future. How often do we carelessly reject love which we later would do anything to have again?

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VIDEO: Was it ridiculous that I had to learn good manners as a child?

By David McElroy · April 1, 2022

When I was young, I was taught how to interact with other people in almost every conceivable situation — and I was good at it.

When I got a little older, I started thinking that what we were all doing in this was was somehow dishonest, because none of us cared about the things we asked each other. But I’ve learned that these “ridiculous” interactions — these “social scripts,” as I call them — serve a very important function in human societies.

As I continue to explore producing video content, I’m making almost whatever comes to my mind, regardless of whether it fits with the overall theme that I’ve set. I’ll eventually focus more one a unified theme, but while I’m learning — and trying to get better at it — I’m making whatever lets me get some practice in front of the camera.

Tap of click the video below to hear more about whether it makes sense to force children to learn what we call manners.

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VIDEO: What does it mean to have someone waiting at home for you?

By David McElroy · March 24, 2022

I had a terrible day. A lot of things went wrong and I found myself wanting to get as far away from human beings as possible. I was frustrated and angry with everybody, it seemed.

But then I got home and found my porch light on and the lights on inside my office. For a moment, I believed someone was there waiting for me.

And for that brief moment, I was fully aware of how much I need people — and to have someone who really is at home for me.

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My Instagram

Have you felt as though you’re living through Grou Have you felt as though you’re living through Groundhog Day lately? Me, too. Here’s a quick-and-dirty political satire I made this evening for fun and stress relief.
About three minutes before sunrise, vibrant color About three minutes before sunrise, vibrant color is poking through the skies to the east of my back yard.
The lights and color might have been more spectacu The lights and color might have been more spectacular a couple of minutes before this, but this was the best view I had of the Monday afternoon sunset from a bridge over I-20 in Moody, Ala.
I just remembered this shot I got a couple of hour I just remembered this shot I got a couple of hours ago of the fading sunset while I was in the Publix parking lot on the way home. If you suddenly find yourself craving Arby’s or Wendy’s, blame the giant icons in the sky, not me. 😃 (BTW, this was with the iPhone’s 8X telephoto lens.) #nature #naturephotography #sunset #birmingham #alabama
I had just pulled into a parking lot Friday night I had just pulled into a parking lot Friday night and was watching traffic through the distortion of the gently falling rain on my car window when I realized that the abstract view I had matched the way I was feeling tonight, so I turned it into a brief abstract video to match my mood.
Get ready for the next great animated Christmas cl Get ready for the next great animated Christmas classic, featuring singing and dancing and danger from Alex, Oliver and Sam. Coming soon to a theater near you. (The funniest part is that if I cared about this as anything more than a Christmas joke, it strikes me as something that could be profitable with the right story development and the right animators.)
Here are a couple of views of the sunset I just wa Here are a couple of views of the sunset I just watched on my way home after showing houses. I didn’t have my camera with me, so these are just iPhone shots. #nature #naturephotography #sunset #birmingham #alabama
This is what it might look like if the cats and I This is what it might look like if the cats and I were cast in a Wes Anderson film.
This is one of the funniest things that ChatGPT ha This is one of the funniest things that ChatGPT has done for me. I asked it to create a movie poster showing what a movie poster would look like for a film starring me. I told it to use my previous writings (from my website) to come up with a title and subject matter. And this is what it came up with. I can’t stop laughing. Also, the software decided on its own to included Oliver. 😺
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Critter Instagram

From the CritterCam: Late Wednesday afternoon, Sam From the CritterCam: Late Wednesday afternoon, Sam and Alex have been napping together on the heated pad in the office.
This is the latest of the ridiculous parody shorts This is the latest of the ridiculous parody shorts that I’ve been making to use on my YouTube channel.
A neighbor two doors down from us has been having A neighbor two doors down from us has been having a new fence installed — and it’s driving Sam crazy that he doesn’t have a good view of the work. He can see enough of the workers and equipment to know something’s going on, but not enough to really keep an eye on things. He prefers it when neighborhood activity is right across the street — so he’ll have a front-row seat.
It’s 5:30 a.m. and Alex seems annoyed that I still It’s 5:30 a.m. and Alex seems annoyed that I still haven’t turned the lights off in the office so he can sleep in peace. It’s mostly dark in here — as you can see from his huge pupils — but he’s ready for some darkness and some serious sleep before sunrise gets here in another hour or so. He might just have to sleep all day to make up for my rudeness. 😺
Alex barely looked up from his nap when I told him Alex barely looked up from his nap when I told him I have to leave the house for a few minutes. He doesn’t seem the least bit concerned. 😺
As soon as I got home late Monday afternoon, Olive As soon as I got home late Monday afternoon, Oliver demanded some attention, so I’ve been holding him as he spies on the neighborhood through an office window. He’s been purring the whole time. It’s been years since I’ve had a cat who demanded as much attention as Oliver does. I had really missed that.
The sun has been up for a few minutes Monday morni The sun has been up for a few minutes Monday morning, but Alex sees no reason that should mean he has to be up, too.
Oliver had been sleeping in a bedroom chair when A Oliver had been sleeping in a bedroom chair when Alex climbed up there to ask for some grooming. After a few minutes of mutual grooming, they’re now asleep together.
Alex is trying to wake up Sunday evening, but as h Alex is trying to wake up Sunday evening, but as he looks around at the office, he’s not sure whether it’s worth it.
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Briefly

We are ruled by the dumbest and most incompetent people among us — and we have a system which allows stupid and irresponsible people to force the costs of their idiocy onto smarter and wiser people. Can we get away with that? Yes, for quite some time. But we eventually reach a point at which the dumbest of the dumb — who are habitual liars and mentally ill fools — lead us to the disasters and destruction that some of us have seen coming for years. We are approaching that point. And yet most of the idiots around us still wave their rhetorical banners of support for the evil people who are leading us to ruin — and all of them point their fingers at someone else, never noticing that their own enthusiastic support of evil is to blame. When things finally fall apart, blame yourself for your blindness to the evil, not whoever happens to be in power when it happens.

I’ve been making some changes to the site lately and there are more changes coming in the days ahead, so don’t be surprised if you some small differences. This is not a wholesale redesign, but rather the addition of some features. Since they’re smarter than I am, I’ve put Oliver and Alex in charge of the technical work, which you can see in this action photo from the control room of our media complex. I recently added a series of landing pages for readers who randomly discover the site from an Internet search. I’ve also changed the YouTube link at the top of the page to go to the new YouTube channel for video essays that reflect things I’ve already published here. (Here’s a little bit about both of the YouTube channels I’m working on.) In addition, I’m trying to move away from using Instagram, so I’m experimenting with photo plug-ins that will eventually allow me to host the pictures — cats, dogs, sunsets, whatever — that I often take. So don’t be surprised to see more changes. Thanks for your patience. Let’s hope Alex and Oliver know what they’re doing.

I have no use for the theocratic and repressive government of Iran. The people who run the country are cruel at best and evil at worst. The Iranian people deserve freedom. But I have no personal quarrel with anybody in Iran. While I’m not thrilled about a future Iranian government having nuclear weapons, I’m just as concerned about nukes in the hands of politicians in Israel, Pakistan, India, China and Russia. I’m not even thrilled with the U.S., Britain and France having them, either, because I don’t trust any politicians to be responsible with such terrible weapons. All I can say with certainty is that American taxpayers have no business attacking Iran, especially since we’re being forced to pay for this attack in order to benefit the politicians of Israel — and nobody else. If Middle Eastern countries want to fight among themselves, that’s none of my business. It’s not the business of the U.S. government, either. I have no quarrel with anybody in Iran — and having the government which claims to represent me launch an unprovoked attack against a sovereign country will only make all Americans less safe in the near future. This attack is poorly conceived and morally unjustified. Remember that when the Iranians launch attacks that we will then condemn as “terrorism.” What the U.S. is doing right now looks like terrorism to me. And let’s not forget that the attack is the latest in a long line of unconstitutional wars by various U.S. presidents — who have no legal power to declare war on their own, according to the U.S. Constitution.

A child having a tantrum understands only one thing: Did I get my way or not? He doesn’t understand the issues involved. He doesn’t understand the reasons that went into a decision. He doesn’t understand any of the things that mature and reasonable adults have to understand in order to live healthy lives. By his reaction to the U.S. Supreme Court’s ruling to strike down his disastrous tariff scheme, Donald Trump shows himself to be — once more — a screaming child having a tantrum. Outside the world of mob bosses who expect to get their way every time, normal adults don’t act this way, but Trump isn’t normal. He’s an angry and vengeful man who has narcissistic personality disorder. And we are in danger as a result. Trump doesn’t understand the legal issues involved in this ruling. He doesn’t understand economics. He doesn’t understand rule of law. He doesn’t understand that he can ever be wrong. All he understands is that he didn’t get his way. And he is now a narcissistic and raging little boy who also happens to hold life-and-death power over most humans on this planet. He’s dangerous — and the system which gives him that power is even more dangerous.

Is it an attempt to blur the gender line between men and women? Or is it some weird tribute to the traditional Scottish kilt? It’s hard to say, but fashion designers keep pushing for men to wear skirts in the last few years. Both men and women in modern fashion seem oddly androgynous, as though it would be offensive for a man to look manly or for a woman to look feminine. A CNN article about the latest fashions from Paris caught my attention Monday and left me wondering about the ugly clothes the designers are hawking. If a man wants to wear a skirt — or a kilt — that’s OK with me, but I’ll stick with a traditional dark suit with a white shirt and tie. (Well, when I’m not wearing t-shirts and sweats, of course.) I always wonder who actually buys the outlandish garb from fashion designers anyway. I would be humiliated to be seen in any of this stuff, but I obviously have no sense of high fashion.

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