When I was young, I wanted to be great. I wanted to be important, successful and powerful. I wanted to be put onto a pedestal, where I could get the adulation and approval I craved.
I wouldn’t have put it that way then, of course. I just thought I wanted the things my culture presented as normal goals for someone like me. (I understand now the degree to which being raised by a narcissistic father left me craving approval and attention.)
As I’ve gotten more emotionally healthy and psychologically mature, I’ve been surprised to find out that my desires in life have changed. It’s not that I’ve “given up.” It’s not that I’m settling for something easy after failing to achieve things I wanted.
My desires today are healthier and far more likely to make me happy. You see, I want to be ordinary. I want to be a good man. I want to be kind and loving and content with the joy of living an ordinary human life.
But I’ve recently discovered a fascinating paradox. As an ordinary man, I won’t have the things this world and our culture have always promised me. I won’t have wealth or power or adulation. But it turns out that the people who gain what the world and our culture promise won’t have what I have.
They won’t have the peace and contentment and joy of a man who’s living a simple and ordinary life.
Why do we paint ourselves into joyless corners with no way out?
When strangers tell us things we want to hear, we want to believe
What would you say if you could converse with your 12-year-old self?
I’m not certain artists ever get to be themselves when they perform
My unconscious choices on love say much about women and me
When we feel we’ve lost control, our behavior stops making sense
Other than meaningless rhetoric, are Bush and Obama really different?
Drug warrior claims weed killed 37, but you and I can be just as blind
Most prizes feel empty, because our real need is for connection