When I was young, I wanted to be great. I wanted to be important, successful and powerful. I wanted to be put onto a pedestal, where I could get the adulation and approval I craved.
I wouldn’t have put it that way then, of course. I just thought I wanted the things my culture presented as normal goals for someone like me. (I understand now the degree to which being raised by a narcissistic father left me craving approval and attention.)
As I’ve gotten more emotionally healthy and psychologically mature, I’ve been surprised to find out that my desires in life have changed. It’s not that I’ve “given up.” It’s not that I’m settling for something easy after failing to achieve things I wanted.
My desires today are healthier and far more likely to make me happy. You see, I want to be ordinary. I want to be a good man. I want to be kind and loving and content with the joy of living an ordinary human life.
But I’ve recently discovered a fascinating paradox. As an ordinary man, I won’t have the things this world and our culture have always promised me. I won’t have wealth or power or adulation. But it turns out that the people who gain what the world and our culture promise won’t have what I have.
They won’t have the peace and contentment and joy of a man who’s living a simple and ordinary life.

Maturity requires all of us to learn there are arguments we won’t win
I’m not certain artists ever get to be themselves when they perform
Only certainty of life is that every one of us crosses River Styx alone
Man’s unconscious night after stroke leaves me uneasy about living alone
After year of pandemic, I’m finally feeling bit of fear about COVID-19
Past feels like blurry watercolor, not like the history of real people
$22,600 for a library router for four users? No wonder states are broke
Paradox of choice can leave us longing for certainty of the past
My bad teen poetry suggests I’ve always hungered for missing love