When I was young, I wanted to be great. I wanted to be important, successful and powerful. I wanted to be put onto a pedestal, where I could get the adulation and approval I craved.
I wouldn’t have put it that way then, of course. I just thought I wanted the things my culture presented as normal goals for someone like me. (I understand now the degree to which being raised by a narcissistic father left me craving approval and attention.)
As I’ve gotten more emotionally healthy and psychologically mature, I’ve been surprised to find out that my desires in life have changed. It’s not that I’ve “given up.” It’s not that I’m settling for something easy after failing to achieve things I wanted.
My desires today are healthier and far more likely to make me happy. You see, I want to be ordinary. I want to be a good man. I want to be kind and loving and content with the joy of living an ordinary human life.
But I’ve recently discovered a fascinating paradox. As an ordinary man, I won’t have the things this world and our culture have always promised me. I won’t have wealth or power or adulation. But it turns out that the people who gain what the world and our culture promise won’t have what I have.
They won’t have the peace and contentment and joy of a man who’s living a simple and ordinary life.

Face the facts: U.S. Constitution is dead document with no meaning
Money isn’t evil, but obsession with money brings out worst in us
If I look closely at my old self, there’s a lot which is now dead
Why do so many of us stay where we know we’ll remain miserable?
Time for anger? Dissent is good, but ask what the dissenters stand for
Liberal NPR, PBS? Why should tax money pay to influence culture?
Why does anyone else care what Elon Musk does with his money?
Midlife becomes big crisis when our self-deception stops working
What if ‘the Good Old Days’ were never as good as you remember?