When I was young, I wanted to be great. I wanted to be important, successful and powerful. I wanted to be put onto a pedestal, where I could get the adulation and approval I craved.
I wouldn’t have put it that way then, of course. I just thought I wanted the things my culture presented as normal goals for someone like me. (I understand now the degree to which being raised by a narcissistic father left me craving approval and attention.)
As I’ve gotten more emotionally healthy and psychologically mature, I’ve been surprised to find out that my desires in life have changed. It’s not that I’ve “given up.” It’s not that I’m settling for something easy after failing to achieve things I wanted.
My desires today are healthier and far more likely to make me happy. You see, I want to be ordinary. I want to be a good man. I want to be kind and loving and content with the joy of living an ordinary human life.
But I’ve recently discovered a fascinating paradox. As an ordinary man, I won’t have the things this world and our culture have always promised me. I won’t have wealth or power or adulation. But it turns out that the people who gain what the world and our culture promise won’t have what I have.
They won’t have the peace and contentment and joy of a man who’s living a simple and ordinary life.

Private property ownership is just an illusion in this country today
Social creatures: We heal each other, but start dying when alone
Police threaten to seize my camera for crime of public photography
My reaction to man’s home taught me more about me than about him
Best years of our lives? For me, teen years were start of feeling like alien
You have to do your own thing, even when crowds don’t ‘get it’
Is Big Brother taking over your refrigerator and other appliances?
Evil media bias? It depends on which lens you’re looking through that day
Bad personal decisions are at root