When I was young, I wanted to be great. I wanted to be important, successful and powerful. I wanted to be put onto a pedestal, where I could get the adulation and approval I craved.
I wouldn’t have put it that way then, of course. I just thought I wanted the things my culture presented as normal goals for someone like me. (I understand now the degree to which being raised by a narcissistic father left me craving approval and attention.)
As I’ve gotten more emotionally healthy and psychologically mature, I’ve been surprised to find out that my desires in life have changed. It’s not that I’ve “given up.” It’s not that I’m settling for something easy after failing to achieve things I wanted.
My desires today are healthier and far more likely to make me happy. You see, I want to be ordinary. I want to be a good man. I want to be kind and loving and content with the joy of living an ordinary human life.
But I’ve recently discovered a fascinating paradox. As an ordinary man, I won’t have the things this world and our culture have always promised me. I won’t have wealth or power or adulation. But it turns out that the people who gain what the world and our culture promise won’t have what I have.
They won’t have the peace and contentment and joy of a man who’s living a simple and ordinary life.

From hole I’ve fallen into today, world is a very alienating place
Legislator trying to legalize medical pot because of sister’s suffering
Blind faith in our ability to reason led to arrogance, false certainty
Bias, incompetence or manipulation? Things aren’t always what they seem
Unhappiness can’t hide forever when life has gone very wrong
I choose love over hate, because the author of the story’s not done
Watching kids on a Friday night reminds me of struggle to belong
How can we be lonely while we’re surrounded by billions of people?
Media bias: ‘They can state the facts while telling a lie’