When I was young, I wanted to be great. I wanted to be important, successful and powerful. I wanted to be put onto a pedestal, where I could get the adulation and approval I craved.
I wouldn’t have put it that way then, of course. I just thought I wanted the things my culture presented as normal goals for someone like me. (I understand now the degree to which being raised by a narcissistic father left me craving approval and attention.)
As I’ve gotten more emotionally healthy and psychologically mature, I’ve been surprised to find out that my desires in life have changed. It’s not that I’ve “given up.” It’s not that I’m settling for something easy after failing to achieve things I wanted.
My desires today are healthier and far more likely to make me happy. You see, I want to be ordinary. I want to be a good man. I want to be kind and loving and content with the joy of living an ordinary human life.
But I’ve recently discovered a fascinating paradox. As an ordinary man, I won’t have the things this world and our culture have always promised me. I won’t have wealth or power or adulation. But it turns out that the people who gain what the world and our culture promise won’t have what I have.
They won’t have the peace and contentment and joy of a man who’s living a simple and ordinary life.

What do U.S. colleges sell today? Knowledge or just access to jobs?
Midlife becomes big crisis when our self-deception stops working
Promises from childhood don’t always serve our needs today
Why do humans keep running from the things we really need the most?
What kind of sick society names Obama, Clinton its most admired?
Ethicists argue for killing newborns, say it’s just as moral as abortion
You never know when someone needs a hug — to know you care
We have a hunger for love just as strong as the need for food, water
THE McELROY ZOO: Meet Oliver, the furball who taught me to love cats