When I was young, I wanted to be great. I wanted to be important, successful and powerful. I wanted to be put onto a pedestal, where I could get the adulation and approval I craved.
I wouldn’t have put it that way then, of course. I just thought I wanted the things my culture presented as normal goals for someone like me. (I understand now the degree to which being raised by a narcissistic father left me craving approval and attention.)
As I’ve gotten more emotionally healthy and psychologically mature, I’ve been surprised to find out that my desires in life have changed. It’s not that I’ve “given up.” It’s not that I’m settling for something easy after failing to achieve things I wanted.
My desires today are healthier and far more likely to make me happy. You see, I want to be ordinary. I want to be a good man. I want to be kind and loving and content with the joy of living an ordinary human life.
But I’ve recently discovered a fascinating paradox. As an ordinary man, I won’t have the things this world and our culture have always promised me. I won’t have wealth or power or adulation. But it turns out that the people who gain what the world and our culture promise won’t have what I have.
They won’t have the peace and contentment and joy of a man who’s living a simple and ordinary life.

Media and mass hysteria lead us into madness of celebrity worship
‘Don’t ever be afraid to turn page,’ but leaving comfort zone is scary
Root problem for dysfunctional culture goes deeper than politics
If we’re seduced by our desires, we often follow devil in disguise
THE McELROY ZOO: Meet Anne, the cat who’d love to live in a shoe
Deconstructing my old life’s hard, but I’m learning to be healthier
Fear and shame can leave us in a fog that destroys relationships
We can’t trade away gun rights and believe it’ll give kids perfect safety
Is it abuse to force atypical kids to conform to norms of society?