THE McELROY ZOO: Meet Anne, the cat who’d love to live in a shoe

By David McElroy · August 28, 2011

Every animal I’ve ever been around has had some kind of personal quirk, but I’ve never seen one like Anne. She seems to want to spend her life inside of a stinky shoe.

You might remember a story from a few weeks ago about Molly, the homeless young cat who I placed into a home — only to have her returned to me by the new family, who deemed her unsuitable. She was also pregnant when she returned from that experience. Anne was one of the kittens born to Molly two years ago.

Molly had four kittens, but only three of them survived. Anne is solid black, and she’s the runt of the litter. She’s the smallest cat I’ve ever been around, weighing in at only 5 pounds.

Her biggest oddity is that she loves shoes. I’ve had cats who love specific types of shoes — such as leather for trying to scratch on — but I’ve never seen one who so consistently wants to crawl inside my shoes. Given the smell of the human foot, you understand why this seems an unfathomable mystery to me.

When she gets excited about shoes, she’s typically moving fast, darting in and out of them and rolling around on the shoes. Here’s a brief video I was able to capture of her doing a bit of her weirdness. The quality isn’t that great, but it’s enough to give you an idea of how deep she pushes herself into the stinky depths.

Anne is quite shy, in much the same way her semi-feral mother still is. Of the three kittens who survived, she grew up to be the most timid. She and her sisters were named for the writing Bronte sisters. Charlotte is the most dominant and confident. Emily is the beautiful, sweet middle child. Anne is the little rebel who’s off in her own world.

Molly and her sister, Bessie, had a rough start as homeless cats, but I’m pleased that I’ve been able to keep them together, along with the three now-adult kittens. They might be a little family with a lot of inborn fear, but they’re at least all together and feel comfortable and safe with one another. (The picture at the bottom is Anne as a kitten with her Aunt Bessie.)

I don’t guess there’s anything wrong with a young lady having a shoe obsession, but if she dies earlier than her sisters, I’m going to suspect it had something to do with the disgusting smells that come in foot odor.

Editor’s note: If you enjoyed meeting Anne, you might enjoy previous stories and pictures about Dagny, Sonny, Alex, Bessie, Molly, Oliver, Munchkin, Sam, Maggie, Henry, Lucy, Amelia, Charlotte and Emily.

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When I first told you about the project that would become DavidMcElroy.TV, I thought it would launch by mid-May. Since today is the last day of May — and I’m still not close to launching a finished product — here’s a brief update. The graphic above is the latest rough mockup of the format, but it’s still subject to change. Even the logo isn’t yet set in stone. Motion graphics are really difficult when you’re starting from scratch. Sunday night, my camera stopped recording, so it has to be sent off for repair. I have an older camera that I’ll keep using for testing, but I can’t launch without the better one. The audio system developed a low buzz this weekend that has me puzzled. I’ll be taking all the equipment over to the home of a local audio engineer who’s volunteered to help me figure out what I’ve done wrong. On top of all that, my on-camera performance seems to get worse with each test I do. There are days when I think I’m crazy to be attempting this. And in truth, I probably am insane to do it, but being crazy has never stopped me before. I’m at least a month away from launch and it could be a few months. Thanks for being patient — and thanks for all the support and enthusiasm for the project that you’ve sent my way.

I received the first dose of a COVID-19 vaccine Monday — and I’m happy to report that I’m neither dead nor a zombie controlled by Bill Gates and Co. Eligibility was recently opened in Alabama to everyone who’s 16 or older, so I signed up for the Pfizer vaccine at a site run by a local university. I know this is a political issue for a lot of people, but that honestly baffles me. We can disagree about whether such a vaccine should be mandatory — which I’m against — but as a voluntary choice, it seems like an easy choice now that it’s been safely given to millions of people. Is it a perfect preventative? Of course not. But the decision seemed obvious to me when looking at the statistics and evidence. I haven’t had any of the side effects that some people have experienced, but that’s supposed to be more of an issue after the second dose, which I’ll get on May 3. In the meantime, I’ll let you know if I grow a third arm — or if the secret microchip kicks in and someone starts trying to control me remotely. All kidding aside, getting the vaccine seems like a rational voluntary choice to me.

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After Tampa Bay, Fla., musician Colt Clark had all of his gigs canceled last year for months on end, the entire family felt trapped at home as most of the world was on quarantine lockdown. His wife, Aubree, had an idea that would let Colt make music and involve the whole family in making music videos to share with their friends and family on Facebook. Aubree is a photographer and homeschooling mom to a daughter and two sons, who range in age from 6 to 11. After their friends started asking to share the videos, they made the performances public — and a few of them are now on YouTube, where they go by the name of Colt Clark and the Quarantine Kids. The younger son, Becket, is on drums. The older boy, Cash, plays keyboards, strings and guitars. Dad supplies lead vocals and plays guitar, while 6-year-old Bellamy mostly dances but sometimes does backup vocals. There’s even a dog who makes an occasional appearance. The Clark family has just raised the bar for what I need to create with my future children. And best of all, they seem to be having a great time together. I hope they make you as happy as they make me.

Have you ever wondered how the social media world works for so-called “influencers”? I find it comical, so I thought I’d share with you. I frequently get offers such as what I’m about to describe. And if I’m getting such offers — as a relative nobody in the online world — you can only imagine what people with huge audiences are offered. It starts with an email appealing to my ego: “We came across your online presence and we LOVE your style. We’d love to have you as one of our Brand Ambassadors. To celebrate our new [Brand Name] collection, we want to give you a FREE Watch so you can post a picture of you wearing it and drive more exposure to our brand.” Did you hear that? They love me. They want me to be seen wearing their cheap $59 watch so other people will think, “If this amazing influencer wears that, surely I should buy one.” They even offer me commissions on the watches sold from people clicking from my site. So the next time you see some alleged “influencer” touting something online or on social media, remember that this is what it’s probably all about. It’s laughable.

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