When I was young, I wanted to be great. I wanted to be important, successful and powerful. I wanted to be put onto a pedestal, where I could get the adulation and approval I craved.
I wouldn’t have put it that way then, of course. I just thought I wanted the things my culture presented as normal goals for someone like me. (I understand now the degree to which being raised by a narcissistic father left me craving approval and attention.)
As I’ve gotten more emotionally healthy and psychologically mature, I’ve been surprised to find out that my desires in life have changed. It’s not that I’ve “given up.” It’s not that I’m settling for something easy after failing to achieve things I wanted.
My desires today are healthier and far more likely to make me happy. You see, I want to be ordinary. I want to be a good man. I want to be kind and loving and content with the joy of living an ordinary human life.
But I’ve recently discovered a fascinating paradox. As an ordinary man, I won’t have the things this world and our culture have always promised me. I won’t have wealth or power or adulation. But it turns out that the people who gain what the world and our culture promise won’t have what I have.
They won’t have the peace and contentment and joy of a man who’s living a simple and ordinary life.

Normal days often turn to terror when you live with a narcissist
Attaining excellence may require some time in painful mediocrity
Political systems built on coercion will always produce cheats, liars
If there are exceptions to free speech, it’s not really free speech, is it?
Utah man turns newspaper obituary into insightful, funny confessional
Why do people who say they love each other cause mutual harm?
She had issues that scared me, but I felt loved and understood
All humans are a little bit insane; we’re not as rational as we think
What if our craving for dopamine drives our desires and addictions?