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David McElroy

making sense of a dysfunctional culture

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Not happy with your life? Change your narrative, change your life

By David McElroy · October 27, 2011

There were two brothers who grew up in a dysfunctional family with an alcoholic father who terrorized the family as they were growing up. The father was physically and emotionally abusive, and it was worse when he was drinking. What do you figure happened to the brothers?

One of the boys grew up to become an abusive alcoholic who created another dysfunctional family. The other brother became very successful and had a loving, stable family. Each brother was later asked why he had become what he was. The alcoholic brother said, “What else would you expect me to be? I grew up watching what my father was and how he treated all of us. Wouldn’t you expect me to start drinking and become what I am?”

About himself, the successful brother said, “What else would you expect me to be? I grew up watching what my father was and how he treated all of us. Wouldn’t you expect me to become just the opposite of what I saw in him?”

The story is apocryphal, but it makes a very true point. You can’t control the facts of your life, but your interpretation of what happens is up to you. The facts aren’t always as important as the narrative you end up believing. In the story, both brothers had the same facts, but their narratives about what happened drove them to opposite kinds of lives. If you’re not happy with the life you have right now, you might or might not be able to immediately change the facts — but you can change the narrative immediately.

I started thinking about this today because of a conversation I had with a stranger a couple of days ago. He’s only 34 years old, but he considers himself a failure. He had big hopes for himself when he was younger. He married the girl of his dreams shortly after she finished law school. He started a business that he thought would one day make him wealthy and secure. He and his wife bought a house in a nice neighborhood with good schools for their future kids to attend. He was set for the future. Or so he thought.

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Black ex-congressman speaks truth about racial ‘groupthink’ on voter ID

By David McElroy · October 26, 2011

As a U.S. congressman, Artur Davis parroted the party line about the evils of voter ID. Now that he’s out of office, though, he’s suddenly able to admit the obvious — that voter ID is a reasonable step to prevent fraud.

While Davis was a congressman, he needed the support and co-operation of the black Democratic political establishment, so he took the expected position by claiming that voter ID was an evil scheme to prevent blacks from voting. The argument has never made sense, of course, but things aren’t required to make sense when you’re playing the race card.

In a column in an Alabama newspaper last week, Davis admitted that voter ID is a good thing and says he’s changed his mind. Remarkably, he admits that he was just repeating what was expected of him:

“When I was a congressman, I took the path of least resistance on this subject for an African American politician. Without any evidence to back it up, I lapsed into the rhetoric of various partisans and activists who contend that requiring photo identification to vote is a suppression tactic aimed at thwarting black voter participation.”

Predictably, Davis’ past allies are apoplectic that he’s telling the truth. In fact, the chairman of the Congressional Black Caucus speculated that it might mean Davis is considering becoming a Republican. Obviously, it’s not acceptable to tell obvious truths if you want to be accepted by members of this “club.”

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Will better marketing make you love state-controlled medical industry?

By David McElroy · October 26, 2011

Most people seem to honestly believe that other people will agree with them on the big political issues if they’ll just make their case a little better next time. They just aren’t willing to admit that we’re badly divided on issues that matter — and we’re never going to come to a consensus.

I’m reminded of this again because of a marketing campaign from a couple of progressive left groups who think they can change the way people feel about the latest government intrusions in the health care system if they’ll just try harder. The new campaign is called “Thanks Obamacare,” and it’s intended to show all the alleged good that will come out of the coming changes in medical and insurance laws.

If you’ll watch the brief promotional video put together by the group and look at its website, it’s clear that the folks behind it have no idea why so many people oppose having the government control more and more of the medical industry. They just stick to the same talking points that are always pushed by proponents of the law. In other words, they’re preaching to themselves. They don’t believe the opponents’ genuine concerns are valid enough to even bother to address.

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Have you felt as though you’re living through Grou Have you felt as though you’re living through Groundhog Day lately? Me, too. Here’s a quick-and-dirty political satire I made this evening for fun and stress relief.
About three minutes before sunrise, vibrant color About three minutes before sunrise, vibrant color is poking through the skies to the east of my back yard.
The lights and color might have been more spectacu The lights and color might have been more spectacular a couple of minutes before this, but this was the best view I had of the Monday afternoon sunset from a bridge over I-20 in Moody, Ala.
I just remembered this shot I got a couple of hour I just remembered this shot I got a couple of hours ago of the fading sunset while I was in the Publix parking lot on the way home. If you suddenly find yourself craving Arby’s or Wendy’s, blame the giant icons in the sky, not me. 😃 (BTW, this was with the iPhone’s 8X telephoto lens.) #nature #naturephotography #sunset #birmingham #alabama
I had just pulled into a parking lot Friday night I had just pulled into a parking lot Friday night and was watching traffic through the distortion of the gently falling rain on my car window when I realized that the abstract view I had matched the way I was feeling tonight, so I turned it into a brief abstract video to match my mood.
Get ready for the next great animated Christmas cl Get ready for the next great animated Christmas classic, featuring singing and dancing and danger from Alex, Oliver and Sam. Coming soon to a theater near you. (The funniest part is that if I cared about this as anything more than a Christmas joke, it strikes me as something that could be profitable with the right story development and the right animators.)
Here are a couple of views of the sunset I just wa Here are a couple of views of the sunset I just watched on my way home after showing houses. I didn’t have my camera with me, so these are just iPhone shots. #nature #naturephotography #sunset #birmingham #alabama
This is what it might look like if the cats and I This is what it might look like if the cats and I were cast in a Wes Anderson film.
This is one of the funniest things that ChatGPT ha This is one of the funniest things that ChatGPT has done for me. I asked it to create a movie poster showing what a movie poster would look like for a film starring me. I told it to use my previous writings (from my website) to come up with a title and subject matter. And this is what it came up with. I can’t stop laughing. Also, the software decided on its own to included Oliver. 😺
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Here’s the next parody sponsor for one of my YouTu Here’s the next parody sponsor for one of my YouTube videos, this time a terror-in-the-water tale called Claws. It’s definitely not a rip-off of anything else you’ve ever heard of. Honest.
Here’s the next in a series of ridiculous video pa Here’s the next in a series of ridiculous video parodies I’ve been making recently for my YouTube channel.
From the CritterCam: Late Wednesday afternoon, Sam From the CritterCam: Late Wednesday afternoon, Sam and Alex have been napping together on the heated pad in the office.
This is the latest of the ridiculous parody shorts This is the latest of the ridiculous parody shorts that I’ve been making to use on my YouTube channel.
A neighbor two doors down from us has been having A neighbor two doors down from us has been having a new fence installed — and it’s driving Sam crazy that he doesn’t have a good view of the work. He can see enough of the workers and equipment to know something’s going on, but not enough to really keep an eye on things. He prefers it when neighborhood activity is right across the street — so he’ll have a front-row seat.
It’s 5:30 a.m. and Alex seems annoyed that I still It’s 5:30 a.m. and Alex seems annoyed that I still haven’t turned the lights off in the office so he can sleep in peace. It’s mostly dark in here — as you can see from his huge pupils — but he’s ready for some darkness and some serious sleep before sunrise gets here in another hour or so. He might just have to sleep all day to make up for my rudeness. 😺
Alex barely looked up from his nap when I told him Alex barely looked up from his nap when I told him I have to leave the house for a few minutes. He doesn’t seem the least bit concerned. 😺
As soon as I got home late Monday afternoon, Olive As soon as I got home late Monday afternoon, Oliver demanded some attention, so I’ve been holding him as he spies on the neighborhood through an office window. He’s been purring the whole time. It’s been years since I’ve had a cat who demanded as much attention as Oliver does. I had really missed that.
The sun has been up for a few minutes Monday morni The sun has been up for a few minutes Monday morning, but Alex sees no reason that should mean he has to be up, too.
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Briefly

We are ruled by the dumbest and most incompetent people among us — and we have a system which allows stupid and irresponsible people to force the costs of their idiocy onto smarter and wiser people. Can we get away with that? Yes, for quite some time. But we eventually reach a point at which the dumbest of the dumb — who are habitual liars and mentally ill fools — lead us to the disasters and destruction that some of us have seen coming for years. We are approaching that point. And yet most of the idiots around us still wave their rhetorical banners of support for the evil people who are leading us to ruin — and all of them point their fingers at someone else, never noticing that their own enthusiastic support of evil is to blame. When things finally fall apart, blame yourself for your blindness to the evil, not whoever happens to be in power when it happens.

I’ve been making some changes to the site lately and there are more changes coming in the days ahead, so don’t be surprised if you some small differences. This is not a wholesale redesign, but rather the addition of some features. Since they’re smarter than I am, I’ve put Oliver and Alex in charge of the technical work, which you can see in this action photo from the control room of our media complex. I recently added a series of landing pages for readers who randomly discover the site from an Internet search. I’ve also changed the YouTube link at the top of the page to go to the new YouTube channel for video essays that reflect things I’ve already published here. (Here’s a little bit about both of the YouTube channels I’m working on.) In addition, I’m trying to move away from using Instagram, so I’m experimenting with photo plug-ins that will eventually allow me to host the pictures — cats, dogs, sunsets, whatever — that I often take. So don’t be surprised to see more changes. Thanks for your patience. Let’s hope Alex and Oliver know what they’re doing.

I have no use for the theocratic and repressive government of Iran. The people who run the country are cruel at best and evil at worst. The Iranian people deserve freedom. But I have no personal quarrel with anybody in Iran. While I’m not thrilled about a future Iranian government having nuclear weapons, I’m just as concerned about nukes in the hands of politicians in Israel, Pakistan, India, China and Russia. I’m not even thrilled with the U.S., Britain and France having them, either, because I don’t trust any politicians to be responsible with such terrible weapons. All I can say with certainty is that American taxpayers have no business attacking Iran, especially since we’re being forced to pay for this attack in order to benefit the politicians of Israel — and nobody else. If Middle Eastern countries want to fight among themselves, that’s none of my business. It’s not the business of the U.S. government, either. I have no quarrel with anybody in Iran — and having the government which claims to represent me launch an unprovoked attack against a sovereign country will only make all Americans less safe in the near future. This attack is poorly conceived and morally unjustified. Remember that when the Iranians launch attacks that we will then condemn as “terrorism.” What the U.S. is doing right now looks like terrorism to me. And let’s not forget that the attack is the latest in a long line of unconstitutional wars by various U.S. presidents — who have no legal power to declare war on their own, according to the U.S. Constitution.

A child having a tantrum understands only one thing: Did I get my way or not? He doesn’t understand the issues involved. He doesn’t understand the reasons that went into a decision. He doesn’t understand any of the things that mature and reasonable adults have to understand in order to live healthy lives. By his reaction to the U.S. Supreme Court’s ruling to strike down his disastrous tariff scheme, Donald Trump shows himself to be — once more — a screaming child having a tantrum. Outside the world of mob bosses who expect to get their way every time, normal adults don’t act this way, but Trump isn’t normal. He’s an angry and vengeful man who has narcissistic personality disorder. And we are in danger as a result. Trump doesn’t understand the legal issues involved in this ruling. He doesn’t understand economics. He doesn’t understand rule of law. He doesn’t understand that he can ever be wrong. All he understands is that he didn’t get his way. And he is now a narcissistic and raging little boy who also happens to hold life-and-death power over most humans on this planet. He’s dangerous — and the system which gives him that power is even more dangerous.

Is it an attempt to blur the gender line between men and women? Or is it some weird tribute to the traditional Scottish kilt? It’s hard to say, but fashion designers keep pushing for men to wear skirts in the last few years. Both men and women in modern fashion seem oddly androgynous, as though it would be offensive for a man to look manly or for a woman to look feminine. A CNN article about the latest fashions from Paris caught my attention Monday and left me wondering about the ugly clothes the designers are hawking. If a man wants to wear a skirt — or a kilt — that’s OK with me, but I’ll stick with a traditional dark suit with a white shirt and tie. (Well, when I’m not wearing t-shirts and sweats, of course.) I always wonder who actually buys the outlandish garb from fashion designers anyway. I would be humiliated to be seen in any of this stuff, but I obviously have no sense of high fashion.

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