David McElroy

It’s a modern consumer gadget phenomenon. A company such as Apple will announce an updated version of last year’s product, and people rush out to buy the new model — while their perfectly functioning old product is still just fine. Why?

I’ve thought about this before, but it’s on my mind today because of a discussion related to Wednesday’s story about iPads in schools. A commenter brought up the question of why people today seem to feel the need for the latest of everything. Why is it that a 10-year-old car is unacceptable to some people, even if it still runs perfectly and has no other problems? Why is furniture that’s perfectly functional tossed out for something new? And why was that iPhone 4 from last year replaced in October with an iPhone 4S?

I suppose you can explain a lot of this by calling it an appeal to fashion — in consumer societies that are fabulously wealthy by any standard the world has known before. By historical standards, we have excess wealth in our pockets, excess time on our hands and excess choices to spend them on. I haven’t studied consumer psychology on this, but I have a theory about what causes people to replace things so quickly. Let me run it by you and you tell me what you think.

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When I was younger, I had a number of quick ways to spot women who were potential romantic matches for me. Of all the things on my list, though, perhaps none was more obvious than a love of reading.

Women who are obsessed with books — especially what I consider good books — have always made me weak at the knees. They tend to be smart, insightful and deep, especially if they’re reading books of substance instead of simply infantile pulp all the time. There’s something about a woman like this that attracts me like few things can. Yes, a beautiful face is a alluring, but a beautiful face without a beautiful mind is ultimately a bore. I’ve found no quicker guide to finding a beautiful mind that watching whether she reads.

I ran across this essay about dating a woman who reads earlier today, and I beg you to read it if you have any understanding of what I’ve meant so far. For me, it was very emotional. One particular woman’s name seemed to be written all over the page for me. You will probably see someone else from your own life. Maybe it will make you cry, too.

And when you’re finished with that, listen to this song. It’s advice for the man who needs to “learn important things.”

A friend of mine died unexpectedly last year, but it wasn’t an accident or bad health. Following a painful business failure, my friend took his own life.

Because this wasn’t a friend who was in my life every single day, I’ve gone on with my life and his memory doesn’t come up frequently anymore. Two things have happened in the last couple of days to make me think of him.

First, I happened to mention his death to someone a couple of nights ago, someone who I’d introduced him to several years ago. She hadn’t had any more contact with him since that one time, but it was still upsetting to her to hear that he had killed himself.

Second, I was going through the address book on my computer Tuesday morning when I came upon his name and old contact information. It was like an odd digital ghost in black and white as I stared at his name. I thought I should delete the card, but I didn’t.

So what do these reactions suggest about our attitudes toward death and suicide? I’m not entirely sure, but I have an idea. When the names or circumstances of people who have died come up, we tend to think that our feelings are about them — remembering who they are and what they meant to us. I’m not so sure that’s usually the case. I suspect our reactions have more to do with the way we feel about our own lives.

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