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David McElroy

making sense of a dysfunctional culture

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I struggle to fix the imperfection in myself and world around me

By David McElroy · January 10, 2021

I’ve always believed it was my job to fix the world. To make everything perfect.

I never actually said that. I didn’t even consciously think it. But I walked through the world feeling a sort of panic — a desperation to fix things — that most people never experience.

Looking back, it’s obvious now where that fear came from. As I was growing up, my narcissistic father held me responsible for being perfect. I was punished for any deviation from what he thought was right and good. And he constantly judged everybody and everything around me.

Behind their backs, he ridiculed people who did things incorrectly. If he saw a public mistake — a timing error on a live television show or a typo in a newspaper, for instance — he used to tell me that someone must have been fired for the mistake. And I believed him.

I’m still afraid of my own imperfection. I still feel panic when I see others’ mistakes. After all these years, there’s still a nagging feeling inside that I have to fix everything — or else I’ll be punished.

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Was he angry to lose his family? Or because he lost his control?

By David McElroy · January 5, 2021

I didn’t pay much attention to the two women who sat near me at dinner. They weren’t eating anything, but they sat talking quietly in the dining room. It was a slow night, so the fast food restaurant was almost empty.

One of the women stood — almost nervously — as a man came in to join them. He had the air of someone who liked to give orders and who thought he should be obeyed. It wasn’t a friendly meeting.

“Why is she here?” the man hissed angrily to the woman who was still seated.

“Holly asked me to come so she wouldn’t be alone,“ the standing woman replied in a tone that made it sound as though she was trying to avoid trouble.

The man sat at the table and I couldn’t hear exactly where the conversation went at first. The seated woman pulled some papers out from a manilla envelope. She pushed the documents toward the man without much explanation.

Everything suddenly clicked. Holly and the angry man were starting to go through a divorce.

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Donald Trump is an evil man, but his political enemies are evil, too

By David McElroy · January 3, 2021

I question the judgment of anyone who has ever supported Donald Trump in any way.

Trump was a liar and a fraud as a businessman. That was plain to anybody who honestly listened to him for many years, far before he got into politics. He has no ethics. He has no principles. He has no moral compass. If you understand narcissist personality disorder (NPD), you know he’s mentally ill.

That doesn’t mean I support any of his opponents, of course, because they are simply different brands of evil. Just because Trump is a mentally ill fraud and liar, that doesn’t make the more mainstream politicians any less evil.

Anyone who can keep supporting Trump at this point is being willfully blind to his unique brand of evil. He is like a mafia crime boss who will do anything — tell any lie, break any rule, cross any line — to hold onto power.

But even with all of this said, the truth is that it is a waste of your time and energy to debate about Donald Trump or Joe Biden or any of these other charlatans. Your future is going to be determined by the decisions you make — not who wins political power struggles.

If you are focused on Trump and Biden — or if you see any politician as your savior — you’re laying the foundation for your own destruction.

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Get ready for the next great animated Christmas cl Get ready for the next great animated Christmas classic, featuring singing and dancing and danger from Alex, Oliver and Sam. Coming soon to a theater near you. (The funniest part is that if I cared about this as anything more than a Christmas joke, it strikes me as something that could be profitable with the right story development and the right animators.)
Here are a couple of views of the sunset I just wa Here are a couple of views of the sunset I just watched on my way home after showing houses. I didn’t have my camera with me, so these are just iPhone shots. #nature #naturephotography #sunset #birmingham #alabama
This is what it might look like if the cats and I This is what it might look like if the cats and I were cast in a Wes Anderson film.
This is one of the funniest things that ChatGPT ha This is one of the funniest things that ChatGPT has done for me. I asked it to create a movie poster showing what a movie poster would look like for a film starring me. I told it to use my previous writings (from my website) to come up with a title and subject matter. And this is what it came up with. I can’t stop laughing. Also, the software decided on its own to included Oliver. 😺
I just noticed in the past couple of days that the I just noticed in the past couple of days that there’s suddenly far more color in the leaves of the trees, which lets me know that winter isn’t far behind. I took these two photos on a chilly Sunday afternoon nine years ago this week. #nature #naturephotography #colorful #trees #autumn #birmingham #alabama
Some of you might be aware that my dog Lucy died o Some of you might be aware that my dog Lucy died of cancer last weekend. As I’ve been grieving the loss of this beautiful and loving girl, I put together a one-minute compilation of short videos of Lucy from her first two or three weeks with me in early 2016. She was several years old at the time, but living with me provided her first stable home. She was unsure of herself at first, but she quickly developed confidence as she discovered how much she was loved. #dog #dogs #dogstagram #dogsofinstagram #cute #cutedog #pets #petstagram #petsofinstagram #instadog #ilovedogs #birmingham #alabama
Tonight’s moon is apparently something called a be Tonight’s moon is apparently something called a beaver supermoon. I noticed as I was getting home from work that it was a bright yellowish-orange, so I snapped this a couple of miles from home. It’s not a great photo, but I was pretty happy with it for an iPhone shot on the side of the road. #nature #naturephotography #sky #colorful #clouds #sunset #birmingham #alabama #iphone17pro
I’m heartbroken to tell you that I lost Lucy early I’m heartbroken to tell you that I lost Lucy early Sunday morning. The World’s Happiest Dog lived with me for 10 years, but I can’t say for sure how old she was when she came to live with me. I’ve written a brief article on my website about Lucy and what she meant to me, which you’ll find as the most recent article at davidmcelroy.org if you would be interested. (There’s a clickable link on my profile.) Like every good dog, she was “the goodest dog.” I love her dearly and I’m going to miss her fiercely. #dog #dogs #dogstagram #dogsofinstagram #cute #cutedog #pets #petstagram #petsofinstagram #instadog #ilovedogs #birmingham #alabama
There’s been a lot of controversy over Bad Bunny p There’s been a lot of controversy over Bad Bunny performing at the Super Bowl, so I suggest a response. I’ll put together a novelty act called Funny Bunny and the G-Men. Here’s what the costumes look like. (And the animated version doesn’t even need costumes.) Funny Bunny does satirical political songs while the G-Men chase him around. With the right humorous songs, this could be comedy gold. Who wants to write songs? 😃
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Critter Instagram

Oliver is slowly purring himself to sleep in my la Oliver is slowly purring himself to sleep in my lap late Tuesday night. I really love it that he regularly wants this much attention.
I just got home and fed the cats, so Sam is satisf I just got home and fed the cats, so Sam is satisfied enough to tolerate me picking him up for a few minutes by this point. He and I are looking out an office window while Alex and Oliver finish eating.
From the CritterCam: I don’t know what might be go From the CritterCam: I don’t know what might be going on in the neighborhood at home, but Oliver certainly appears intently interested in something happening outside the window next to him in the office.
When I left the house Tuesday, it was pretty clear When I left the house Tuesday, it was pretty clear that Alex wouldn’t be awake for much longer.
Alex has been trying to stay awake, but he’s slowl Alex has been trying to stay awake, but he’s slowly losing the battle just before midnight. He’s on the heated pad and that’s the CritterCam on the left of the frame. I’m turning the lights off now so they can all sleep peacefully. (The second frame is a shot from the CritterCam about two minutes after I left the room.)
Sam and Oliver have been napping on the bed near m Sam and Oliver have been napping on the bed near me Monday night while I write.
I just got home. As soon as I could change clothes I just got home. As soon as I could change clothes and sit down, Oliver was in my lap purring. He’s just lying here watching the other cats and making it clear that he thinks he’s in charge.
When I left the house Monday, Alex was standing gu When I left the house Monday, Alex was standing guard on the top level of his castle. He was watching the neighborhood through a nearby office window, but napping already seemed to be on his mind.
The bedroom is almost dark as 2 a.m. approaches, s The bedroom is almost dark as 2 a.m. approaches, so it’s just the MacBook’s screen lighting Oliver at this point. Alex and Sam have already bedded down in the office and I think this guy is trending in that direction, too.
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If you have problems with high blood pressure, I’d like to encourage you to consider making serious changes to your diet. There might be some people who don’t have any choice but to start taking prescription medications for high blood pressure, but I’d like to tell you that I have completely eliminated my issue by eliminating all sugar and almost all carbohydrates. (A couple of months ago, my blood pressure hit 185/144, which was dangerously high — considered stage 3 hypertension.) By completely changing my eating habits, I’m down 22 pounds and my blood pressure is now in the “ideal” range — without taking any medication. In addition, I sleep better and I have more energy. Getting away from the sugar-laden mess that we generally refer to as “highly processed food” has been a life-changer for me. Now my challenge is to avoid slipping back into old habits — by eating in the dangerous ways that almost everyone in our society has come to see as normal.

When I first heard about this, I thought it must be satire. When I discovered it was real, I was appalled, but I still thought it must be a one-time thing from some nutty activist. But it turns out it’s the latest bit of pandering to a bunch of far-left activists who believe that a man can become a woman if he decides to claim he’s a woman. As everybody knows, men have prostate glands. Women do not. Period. End of story. Men can get prostate cancer. Women cannot. But political activists are so eager to pretend that a man claiming to be a “trans woman” is really a woman that they are insisting that “women” be included in public health messages about the issue. This is nothing but political virtue-signaling. If you’re a man, you know which parts you have. You know that you ought to be screened. Nobody is made any safer by dragging far-left gender ideology into simple medical reality.

Every time someone tries to tighten requirements around the use of absentee ballots, I hear screams from Democrats and others on the political left that such efforts are nothing but “suppression of black voters.” These protests have never made sense to me, especially because it’s never been a secret that absentee ballot fraud goes on all the time in certain areas. (Everybody knew it when I worked in politics.) The people who engage in such fraud are rarely caught — often because the local political establishment approves of the crime — but a Democrat who won a primary election in Clay County, Alabama, last year has pleaded guilty to this sort of cheating. Terry Andrew Heflin was running for a place on the Clay County Commission. He was caught ordering seven absentee ballots in the names of various voters and sending them to his post office box — after which he used the ballots to vote absentee for himself seven time. Did he have other people cast additional fraudulent ballots? We’ll never know. But in a primary in which he was able to win with only 141 votes, it wouldn’t take many fraudulent votes to change the election. The next time you hear “civil rights activists” claim that it’s just “voter suppression” to hurt blacks which is at the root of efforts to stop this fraud, remember Terry Heflin. If you care about fair and honest elections, ballot security and voter identity should matter to you.

A state legislator in Maine has been stripped of the ability to speak in the state Legislature — and her votes are not being counted on legislative issues — all because she made a truthful social media post. Rep. Laurel Libby (R-Auburn, Maine) opposes allowing boys to compete against girls’ teams in school athletics and she’s become known for making an issue of it. On Feb. 17, she posted on Facebook about a recent example that she found outrageous. She posted side-by-side photos of a boy named John who competed last year in a state track event and won fifth place against other boys two years ago — and a photo of the same boy (now called Katie) who won first place in the same event this year against girls. Whether you find this outrageous or not, Libby is clearly being honest and truthful about the objective facts of an issue of public importance. But the state Legislature censured her. Democrats decreed that she could not speak in the House and that her votes would not count on legislation — until she apologized for the outrage of telling the truth. She refused and her constituents have been unrepresented in the state House since then. The people who promote this ideology are out of touch with reality and won’t rest until they force the rest of us to join them in this delusion. But even if you agree with “trans” ideology, you should be appalled at this heavy-handed attack on political speech.

The late Steve Jobs was at the center of our culture’s transition from analog to digital. He co-founded Apple Computer. He led the team that revolutionized personal computing with the first Macintosh. As CEO of Apple, he led the development of the iPhone and later the iPad. You would think the children of such a man would be surrounded by technology. But Jobs and his wife Laureen didn’t let their children use iPads. Their home had few screens of any kind. Even though Jobs spent most of his time developing and selling Macs and iPhones and iPads, he was home with his wife and children for dinner when he was in town. The family ate together at a simple wooden table in their kitchen — and there were no digital devices or focus on popular culture. Instead, he’s said to have guided his family toward deep discussions of art, philosophy and education — with no iPads to be found. If the man who guided the development of such products chose a different path for his own children, does that suggest that his digital experience taught him that children need human connection, not screens? And does it suggest the possibility that we might be better off if we made the same choice for our families?

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