David McElroy

making sense of a dysfunctional culture

David McElroy

We’re neither friends nor enemies, just strangers who share the past

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The man walked into something like a cave and saw stalactites hanging from the roof. But these weren’t normal mineral formations. Each one contained the face and memories of someone important from his past.

I heard the man’s story this week in a book about experimental drug-assisted psychotherapy. During the experience, his unconscious was creating symbols for things it was pushing into his consciousness. And the man could have conversations with these people from the past, in a way that felt completely real to him.

I found this story oddly frightening. I imagined what it would feel like to encounter such people from my past. It gave me shivers, but it’s hard to explain why. All I can say is that when I close the door on someone from the past, I prefer not to re-open the door to something dead. I’d rather allow the memories to stand on their own.

And I’ve lived something of a waking nightmare for the past couple of days — as I’ve vividly experienced conversations with women who have been dead to me.

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Chappelle is offensive and crude, but what he’s doing is important

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Dave Chappelle makes a lot of people uncomfortable — and I understand why.

He’s a talented comic, but he goes out of his way to be offensive. A lot of comedians are crude and offensive, but Chappelle has the temerity to offend people who polite culture has declared untouchable.

I hadn’t seen much of Chappelle’s work, but the clips I’d seen showed me that he was funny and talented. He delivers his jokes with a casual style that makes it appear he’s engaged in conversation with his audience instead of delivering tired jokes.

Few people today are bothered by the sort of crude language he uses, but that’s not something I enjoy. My own language is so conservative that I’ve never spoken a word of profanity. It’s just not part of my vocabulary. So the fact that about a quarter of his words are profane or insulting bugs me. It’s not my preferred way to be entertained.

Popular culture has been mercilessly attacking Chappelle’s Netflix comedy special called “Sticks and Stones,” so I finally watched it Tuesday night. His language is offensive. His jokes are outrageous. He offends many of this culture’s modern sacred cows.

But I came away from it feeling that what Dave Chappelle is doing is important — even for those who don’t agree with him.

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Briefly: I can’t celebrate any death, even those who might ‘deserve it’

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I have changed radically about some things over the years, but probably none of those changes have been as great as the ways that I feel about people who are viewed as evil or criminal. When I was young, I was eager to see criminals or foreign political enemies killed. Today, I don’t view such people though rose-colored glasses and I don’t view them as blameless folks who are going to turn their lives around if we just think happy thoughts. But I can’t celebrate the death of anybody, even if he might deserve it in some ways of thinking about it. Even if it’s sometimes necessary to kill someone — and those cases are often debatable — I regret the death of someone who will now never have a chance to discover love and change his life. There are some evil people in this world, but I can’t celebrate their deaths.

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