When you talk about “the good old days,” it’s easy to forget the past wasn’t so great for many of our fellow Americans. (I made this point in “What if ‘the Good Old Days’ were never as good as you remember?”) On Friday, I discovered the new album of one of my all-time favorite artists was available and he has an excellent song which makes a similar point. Pat Terry was one of the pioneers of modern Christian music in the 1970s and his new song, “Whose Good Ol’ Days?’ reminisces about the differences between the black and white communities where he grew up in Georgia. Without pushing guilt or anger on those who might have been blind to the issue at the time, the song gently covers ground which is similar to what I wrote about.
Briefly: Lack of play and too much structured time leading to depression in kids
Briefly: Man’s willingness to apologize is a good lesson for us allBriefly: Wisdom is coming to understand how little I know
The more mature I’ve gotten, the less inclined I am to believe that I know how to tell others how to live. As I’ve understood myself more, I’ve realized that all I can do is share what little wisdom I’ve come to feel through my own experiences. And as I do that, I realize that some things I experience are broadly true as objective reality (which I can’t prove) and that other things are far more murky and individual to every person. The irony is that as I understand things which are more universal in the human soul than I’ve understood in the past, I’m more aware than ever of how very much I still don’t understand.
Briefly: Join me tonight in watching ‘How the Grinch Stole Christmas’
Briefly: I’m fond of finding new ways to express what my heart needs to say
Briefly: Living with loss of love hurts, but forgetting real love would be worseMy need to make others perfect reflects my fear I’m not in control
It was about 12 years ago and I was getting to know a woman who I would soon start dating. I don’t tell you this story with pride, but with shame. It really embarrasses me.
This woman had a brilliant mind. She was talented enough to do anything she wanted. Her competence, talent and intelligence were stunning. She could have done something really impressive if she had wanted, but what she really wanted was to be a teacher. She had received her degree and was about to start teaching.
That seemed like a waste to me. I thought she could do something so much more “impressive.” I don’t remember what I said, but I was trying to nudge her into thinking about something bigger. I was probably a bit condescending about it. You see, if she was going to be in my life, I wanted her to do something more impressive. I wanted to make her into what I thought she ought to be. I wasn’t honest enough with myself about it at the time to know this, but I made her career choice all about me.
I’m not a control freak, but I’m happier if you do things “the right way.” My way.
One of my core problems is my compulsion to reform everything around me, including other people. It’s not that I don’t also want to fix myself. I do. I want to fix the entire world around me — and that includes other people. This is really a problem of me needing control.
We’re neither friends nor enemies, just strangers who share the past
Society needs storytellers to help make sense of a changing world
My bad teen poetry suggests I’ve always hungered for missing love