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David McElroy

making sense of a dysfunctional culture

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David McElroy

THE McELROY ZOO: Meet Amelia, the white kitten who was so filthy she appeared gray

By David McElroy · June 5, 2011

On a warm July evening almost 11 years ago, I had just left a cheap steak joint in Birmingham after a meal. I was about to get into my car when I heard a small sound. I was in a hurry, so I almost didn’t check it out. Eleven years later, I’m glad I did.

The sound I’d heard was a very small and very weak “meow.” There was a scared and hungry kitten underneath the car parked next to me. I got down on the ground to look. Very tentatively, two scared and hesitant eyes looked back at me from just around the edge of a tire. There was no way the kitten behind those terrified eyes was going to intentionally let me get anywhere close to her. Keep Reading

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Filed Under: Uncategorized

It’s OK to volunteer for tornado cleanup, but only if you’re not a pro

By David McElroy · June 5, 2011

In Minnesota, Mike Haege watched a couple of weeks ago as a tornado tore through the Minneapolis neighborhood where his sister lives. He knows the neighborhood and wanted to help. Since Haege owns a tree trimming and removal business, he was the perfect candidate to volunteer. He’s an expert at the services that were most immediately required and he had the right equipment to do the work.

The day after the storm, he drove the 40 miles or so with his equipment to volunteer to work. He registered with the appropriate agency to volunteer and then headed out with a representative from the agency to start work.

Let’s mention that companies that do paid services of this type have to be licensed by the cities in which they work. Haege knows that and is licensed in the cities where he normally works, but he doesn’t work in Minneapolis, so he doesn’t have a license from the city. I’m sure you can see where this is going.

Keep Reading

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Filed Under: Uncategorized Tagged With: businessman, disaster, inspector, licensing, mike haege, minneapolis, minnesota, tornado

New command from the French state: ‘Thou shalt not say Facebook or Twitter on TV or radio’

By David McElroy · June 4, 2011

The French state is famous for banning words because they’re allegedly threats to the purity of the French language, but the latest ban on words is goofy even by the country’s absurdist standards. French broadcasters are no longer allowed to refer to Facebook or Twitter on the air.

No, this isn’t a joke. You’re not reading something lifted from the pages of the Onion. The French state regulator has decided that TV and radio channels can’t direct viewers and listeners to “like” them on Facebook or “follow them” on Twitter. This is now deemed advertising, so it is verboten. (Wait. That’s German. It’s probably not allowed in a story about French, so never mind.)

There’s no way I can do justice to this absurd story, so just take a look at this piece from a guy living in Paris. The only point I want to make here is that when you give the state the power to make such decisions, it’s your fault when the absurdities happen. Why should a state even have the power to make this decision?

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My Instagram

Donald Trump has figured out who to blame for the Donald Trump has figured out who to blame for the the D.C. Reflecting Pool turning green. The dastardly deed was carried out by a specially trained squad of Antifa cats trained by the Far Left. It’s not his fault. Arrest all the cats! #satire #parody
This was the sunset that faced me as I left Walmar This was the sunset that faced me as I left Walmart near my house just a few minutes ago. It was a beautiful light show for just a few minutes.
Here’s proof that reality and satire are indisting Here’s proof that reality and satire are indistinguishable these days.
This was the sunset I saw from the parking lot out This was the sunset I saw from the parking lot outside of the Walmart near my house just after the sun went down Friday evening.
This little parody was inspired by my trip to buy This little parody was inspired by my trip to buy gas a little while ago. Even at a no-name brand, the price was $4.09. If I remember correctly, it was $2.29 a gallon at the same station on the day the war started. I don’t know about you, but I’m tired of winning. 🤣
For the best and most sophisticated in lawn care, For the best and most sophisticated in lawn care, check out the sponsor of one of my upcoming YouTube video episodes. 🙃 #parody #threestooges
Have you felt as though you’re living through Grou Have you felt as though you’re living through Groundhog Day lately? Me, too. Here’s a quick-and-dirty political satire I made this evening for fun and stress relief.
About three minutes before sunrise, vibrant color About three minutes before sunrise, vibrant color is poking through the skies to the east of my back yard.
The lights and color might have been more spectacu The lights and color might have been more spectacular a couple of minutes before this, but this was the best view I had of the Monday afternoon sunset from a bridge over I-20 in Moody, Ala.
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If you look at Oliver’s ears, you can tell that he If you look at Oliver’s ears, you can tell that he is still unhappy about the fireworks that have been going off in the neighborhood for most of the night. As soon as I got home, he wanted to be picked up and he started purring, but he was still wary about all the noise.
Alex isn’t thrilled with the fireworks in the neig Alex isn’t thrilled with the fireworks in the neighborhood tonight, so he’s been hanging out with me.
A few minutes before sunset, Sam is watching some A few minutes before sunset, Sam is watching some people in the distance setting off firecrackers. He’s not scared by the noise so far, but he’s mesmerized.
Alex is asleep on my desk late Saturday afternoon Alex is asleep on my desk late Saturday afternoon and Oliver is giving him a withering look as he wanders by, as though to judge Alex for sleeping this late in the day. I think Oliver wants to play.
Oliver is the only one of the cats still hanging o Oliver is the only one of the cats still hanging out with me at almost 2 a.m. Alex and Sam have already gone to the office, but Oliver has been on the bed near me while I’ve been writing. But he’s finally given up and gone to sleep.
Alex just came to the bedroom to remind me that I Alex just came to the bedroom to remind me that I haven’t yet gotten around to feeding him — and he’s making it clear that I will pay for this transgression with my very soul unless I act quickly.
Alex has been busy with his daily “castle destruct Alex has been busy with his daily “castle destruction” duties — as you can see on the column at the left — so he’s about ready to spend the rest of the day recovering from this hard work.
At midnight, Oliver posed on the mantle for me. Al At midnight, Oliver posed on the mantle for me. All the lights were off in the office except for on light over the window right next to the mantle, so it worked as a spotlight for him.
When Sam was watching Oliver — see photo from a fe When Sam was watching Oliver — see photo from a few minutes ago — this is what Oliver was doing on the mantle. He was watching out the window, not planning a sneak attack on his little brother.
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It turns out that the radical far left has been training “Antifa cats” to sabotage anything important to Donald Trump. Everything he did was perfect. Honest. It was all the cats’ fault. Arrest all the cats! This is the latest of my ridiculous satirical shorts. Please go watch it. Then “like” it and subscribe. Please. I’m begging you. (Too much?) Although a couple of the previous videos have had views in the hundreds, most have still been seen by fewer than 20 people. So I seem to be having trouble letting people know that page exists.

Here’s the latest of my ridiculous parody shorts. It crossed my mind Tuesday to wonder what a slick and fast-talking car dealer might do right now to try to turn the high price of gasoline to his advantage. So I conceived of a fat and lovable character who tried to sell cars that don’t use any fuel — and then I started wondering if it would be funnier if all the characters were felines. Designing the King Cashpaw character took about four hours, but the rest took only another four hours, so this was a relatively quick piece that virtually wrote itself. I know it’s almost impossible for these parody videos to find a larger audience, but at least they amuse me — and there are 19 of them on my YouTube page now. The first few were very limited, but they’re getting more complex.

The Republican Party is dead. It still exists in name, of course, but it’s nothing but a shell. All that’s left are idiots and stooges and con men of the MAGA party. When Donald Trump is gone — which won’t be long — those populist idiots and pragmatic fools will have no one to follow. Democrats will thrive. They will take more power than ever and they will push the federal government further to the radical far left than ever. When that happens, don’t just blame Trump if you’re a conservative. Blame every person who has claimed to be a conservative and has given up on principles, character and everything else that Republicans once claimed to stand for. As someone who worked as a GOP political consultant for many years, this is disgusting and disturbing to me. Those who have enabled Trump to have almost unchecked power are going to be shocked when they see what they will unleash in the long run. It’s been plain all along what this narcissistic con man is. It’s your fault that you chose to pretend not to see what he really is.

We are ruled by the dumbest and most incompetent people among us — and we have a system which allows stupid and irresponsible people to force the costs of their idiocy onto smarter and wiser people. Can we get away with that? Yes, for quite some time. But we eventually reach a point at which the dumbest of the dumb — who are habitual liars and mentally ill fools — lead us to the disasters and destruction that some of us have seen coming for years. We are approaching that point. And yet most of the idiots around us still wave their rhetorical banners of support for the evil people who are leading us to ruin — and all of them point their fingers at someone else, never noticing that their own enthusiastic support of evil is to blame. When things finally fall apart, blame yourself for your blindness to the evil, not whoever happens to be in power when it happens.

I’ve been making some changes to the site lately and there are more changes coming in the days ahead, so don’t be surprised if you some small differences. This is not a wholesale redesign, but rather the addition of some features. Since they’re smarter than I am, I’ve put Oliver and Alex in charge of the technical work, which you can see in this action photo from the control room of our media complex. I recently added a series of landing pages for readers who randomly discover the site from an Internet search. I’ve also changed the YouTube link at the top of the page to go to the new YouTube channel for video essays that reflect things I’ve already published here. (Here’s a little bit about both of the YouTube channels I’m working on.) In addition, I’m trying to move away from using Instagram, so I’m experimenting with photo plug-ins that will eventually allow me to host the pictures — cats, dogs, sunsets, whatever — that I often take. So don’t be surprised to see more changes. Thanks for your patience. Let’s hope Alex and Oliver know what they’re doing.

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