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David McElroy

making sense of a dysfunctional culture

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Hurt people hurt people, and it’s hard to forgive that in ourselves

By David McElroy · May 15, 2020

It’s hard to forgive other people, but it’s far more difficult to forgive ourselves. I know this is true, because I’ve struggled with it for years.

I listened to a podcast episode tonight about how victims of narcissists often lash out at other people in behavior that seems remarkably similar to the behavior that was done to them. I’ve known for years that this is true, but I prefer to avoid the subject.

Thinking about it makes me feel guilt and shame. I struggle to give myself the grace of self-compassion and forgiveness.

I’ve talked with you over and over about my struggles with coming to understand the narcissistic abuse I went through as a child. The thing I seem to have struggled with the most are my fears of having learned too many of my father’s dysfunctional ways. (Here‘s an example from about 18 months ago.)

As I listened to the podcast discussion tonight of how easy it is for victims to repeat some forms of what was done to them, I felt the shame return — and I was reminded that I still haven’t mastered how to give myself compassion and forgiveness.

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The Alien Observer:
Can we trust the experts?

By David McElroy · May 14, 2020

People are angrily screaming with each other right now about what ought to be done about how much public activity to allow.

Some people demand that everything be opened up as before. Others demand that most things remain closed — and most people remain at home — for many more months. Everybody seems convinced that he has the right answer.

But the questions which a lot of people aren’t really addressing are which experts ought to be trusted and whether anybody has the right to force everyone else to obey his particular expert.

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  • Need for certainty is an internal tyranny that leads to the wrong pathNeed for certainty is an internal tyranny that leads to the wrong path
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The Alien Observer:
What’s this show all about?

By David McElroy · May 9, 2020

I don’t fit into the warring political and social teams that are fighting to take control of this country. I see the world entirely differently than they do. This show is my attempt to show a different way of looking at the world — and to bridge the gap between people who hate each other and badly misunderstand one another.

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  • NOTEBOOK: Simplistic storytelling on TV news pushing nation to war
  • Inner peace requires breaking free of your defense mechanisms
  • How could we take responsibility but avoid self-destructive shame?

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My Instagram

Donald Trump has figured out who to blame for the Donald Trump has figured out who to blame for the the D.C. Reflecting Pool turning green. The dastardly deed was carried out by a specially trained squad of Antifa cats trained by the Far Left. It’s not his fault. Arrest all the cats! #satire #parody
This was the sunset that faced me as I left Walmar This was the sunset that faced me as I left Walmart near my house just a few minutes ago. It was a beautiful light show for just a few minutes.
Here’s proof that reality and satire are indisting Here’s proof that reality and satire are indistinguishable these days.
This was the sunset I saw from the parking lot out This was the sunset I saw from the parking lot outside of the Walmart near my house just after the sun went down Friday evening.
This little parody was inspired by my trip to buy This little parody was inspired by my trip to buy gas a little while ago. Even at a no-name brand, the price was $4.09. If I remember correctly, it was $2.29 a gallon at the same station on the day the war started. I don’t know about you, but I’m tired of winning. 🤣
For the best and most sophisticated in lawn care, For the best and most sophisticated in lawn care, check out the sponsor of one of my upcoming YouTube video episodes. 🙃 #parody #threestooges
Have you felt as though you’re living through Grou Have you felt as though you’re living through Groundhog Day lately? Me, too. Here’s a quick-and-dirty political satire I made this evening for fun and stress relief.
About three minutes before sunrise, vibrant color About three minutes before sunrise, vibrant color is poking through the skies to the east of my back yard.
The lights and color might have been more spectacu The lights and color might have been more spectacular a couple of minutes before this, but this was the best view I had of the Monday afternoon sunset from a bridge over I-20 in Moody, Ala.
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Critter Instagram

At midnight, Oliver posed on the mantle for me. Al At midnight, Oliver posed on the mantle for me. All the lights were off in the office except for on light over the window right next to the mantle, so it worked as a spotlight for him.
When Sam was watching Oliver — see photo from a fe When Sam was watching Oliver — see photo from a few minutes ago — this is what Oliver was doing on the mantle. He was watching out the window, not planning a sneak attack on his little brother.
Just before sunset, Sam was in his favorite window Just before sunset, Sam was in his favorite window Friday evening. Oliver was on the fireplace mantle above him, so he was watching carefully to be sure he wasn’t about to be attacked from the high ground.
I went up tell the cats that I have to leave for t I went up tell the cats that I have to leave for the rest of the afternoon, but Alex didn’t seem too concerned about my looming absence. 😺
As I sit in the bedroom writing Wednesday evening, As I sit in the bedroom writing Wednesday evening, all three cats are on the bed next to me. Alex and Oliver have been grooming each other. And you can even hear crickets outside. It’s a peaceful household right now.
I just came back home long enough to change clothe I just came back home long enough to change clothes and Oliver quickly assumed his rightful position of the throne of his human. He’s just lying here purring loudly.
Alex sees absolutely no reason to wake up Wednesda Alex sees absolutely no reason to wake up Wednesday afternoon if it’s not time for dinner yet.
Early Wednesday afternoon, Sam was asleep in an of Early Wednesday afternoon, Sam was asleep in an office window when Oliver jumped up to check him out. Oliver sniffed him for a few seconds and decided there wasn’t enough room for both of them, so he jumped back down.
It’s after 2 a.m., but Oliver is still wide awake It’s after 2 a.m., but Oliver is still wide awake and playing with me.
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It turns out that the radical far left has been training “Antifa cats” to sabotage anything important to Donald Trump. Everything he did was perfect. Honest. It was all the cats’ fault. Arrest all the cats! This is the latest of my ridiculous satirical shorts. Please go watch it. Then “like” it and subscribe. Please. I’m begging you. (Too much?) Although a couple of the previous videos have had views in the hundreds, most have still been seen by fewer than 20 people. So I seem to be having trouble letting people know that page exists.

Here’s the latest of my ridiculous parody shorts. It crossed my mind Tuesday to wonder what a slick and fast-talking car dealer might do right now to try to turn the high price of gasoline to his advantage. So I conceived of a fat and lovable character who tried to sell cars that don’t use any fuel — and then I started wondering if it would be funnier if all the characters were felines. Designing the King Cashpaw character took about four hours, but the rest took only another four hours, so this was a relatively quick piece that virtually wrote itself. I know it’s almost impossible for these parody videos to find a larger audience, but at least they amuse me — and there are 19 of them on my YouTube page now. The first few were very limited, but they’re getting more complex.

The Republican Party is dead. It still exists in name, of course, but it’s nothing but a shell. All that’s left are idiots and stooges and con men of the MAGA party. When Donald Trump is gone — which won’t be long — those populist idiots and pragmatic fools will have no one to follow. Democrats will thrive. They will take more power than ever and they will push the federal government further to the radical far left than ever. When that happens, don’t just blame Trump if you’re a conservative. Blame every person who has claimed to be a conservative and has given up on principles, character and everything else that Republicans once claimed to stand for. As someone who worked as a GOP political consultant for many years, this is disgusting and disturbing to me. Those who have enabled Trump to have almost unchecked power are going to be shocked when they see what they will unleash in the long run. It’s been plain all along what this narcissistic con man is. It’s your fault that you chose to pretend not to see what he really is.

We are ruled by the dumbest and most incompetent people among us — and we have a system which allows stupid and irresponsible people to force the costs of their idiocy onto smarter and wiser people. Can we get away with that? Yes, for quite some time. But we eventually reach a point at which the dumbest of the dumb — who are habitual liars and mentally ill fools — lead us to the disasters and destruction that some of us have seen coming for years. We are approaching that point. And yet most of the idiots around us still wave their rhetorical banners of support for the evil people who are leading us to ruin — and all of them point their fingers at someone else, never noticing that their own enthusiastic support of evil is to blame. When things finally fall apart, blame yourself for your blindness to the evil, not whoever happens to be in power when it happens.

I’ve been making some changes to the site lately and there are more changes coming in the days ahead, so don’t be surprised if you some small differences. This is not a wholesale redesign, but rather the addition of some features. Since they’re smarter than I am, I’ve put Oliver and Alex in charge of the technical work, which you can see in this action photo from the control room of our media complex. I recently added a series of landing pages for readers who randomly discover the site from an Internet search. I’ve also changed the YouTube link at the top of the page to go to the new YouTube channel for video essays that reflect things I’ve already published here. (Here’s a little bit about both of the YouTube channels I’m working on.) In addition, I’m trying to move away from using Instagram, so I’m experimenting with photo plug-ins that will eventually allow me to host the pictures — cats, dogs, sunsets, whatever — that I often take. So don’t be surprised to see more changes. Thanks for your patience. Let’s hope Alex and Oliver know what they’re doing.

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