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I like things to be easy.

When I was young, most things came very easily to me. I didn’t have to work hard for much of anything. I quickly learned to stick to the things which were most obvious to me — and which impressed people the most — and just sit back to receive the praise.

For the most part, I‘ve done the same thing for my adult life. Unless I have a huge incentive, I stick to what I know how to do. It’s safe. It gets the praise I crave. And it keeps me from having to risk failure.

But every now and then, I push myself into something completely new. The old fears start surfacing. What if I’m a fraud? What if I fail at this? What if I‘m just embarrassing myself? What if I’m not perfect?

I’m in that position right now as I work toward the first complete episode of my new podcast, Love & Hope. (Listen to the three-minute introduction here.) I know the things I need to do. I’m working on them. But I’m not an expert at these things — and I once again feel the old fear of not being perfect.

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I launched a new podcast today called Love & Hope.

It will take up to a week for it to be listed on all the major podcast directories, but it’s already online at some of the top sites.

For a long time, I’ve wanted to start a podcast that wouldn’t be aimed at a huge audience, because I need time to get good at what I’m doing before I aim for a bigger audience.

This show is a continuation of much of what I’ve already been talking and writing about here. In fact, the first few episodes will be repurposed audio that many of you have already heard over the last six weeks or so.

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I’ve been hurt — very badly — by someone I’ve loved. You’ve been hurt, too.

And since we know how badly broken trust feels, why is it that we choose to love again? Why do we choose to trust someone again? Once we’ve lived long enough to know what hurt feels like — and to know that someone else might very well leave us hurting once again — why do we trust?

I’ve been asking myself this question tonight. I don’t really like the answers I’m coming up with — but I don’t know another way to live.

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