Uncategorized

We live in a dangerous and dysfunctional culture, but the biggest battle that a lot of us fight is at the core of our own psyche. If we don’t win that battle and find ways to love and be loved, the world around us won’t matter.

Inside, I’m still the same 5-year-old boy who doesn’t understand why he doesn’t feel loved and accepted and cherished by his parents. If I can find a way to get that need filled, every other problem in my world is solvable. But until I fill that need, it doesn’t matter what I achieve.

Only real love and acceptance are ever going to fill that hole in my heart that’s been there for as long as I can remember.

This is the next in a series of videos dealing with issues that come up for me to think about as I write a book about my childhood experience of growing up with a narcissistic father. You can visit that YouTube channel to subscribe to future videos. (Liking and subscribing help me quite a bit in helping others to see the videos.) Or you can watch this video below.

Keep Reading

At every stage of my life, I’ve raged against authority — because my father made me so terrified of being controlled — but I’ve also begged for someone to give me permission to pursue what I wanted.

I needed some authority’s approval and permission, but I was angry that I didn’t feel as though I could just stand on my own. Every time I’ve wanted to throw myself into some project — such as a new business — I’ve felt as though I was paralyzed — until someone gave me permission.

After all these years, I’ve still been unconsciously waiting for my father to give me permission to be myself.

This is the next in a series of videos dealing with issues that come up for me to think about as I write a book about my childhood experience of growing up with a narcissistic father. You can visit that YouTube channel to subscribe to future videos. (Liking and subscribing help me quite a bit in helping others to see the videos.) Or can can watch this video below.

Keep Reading

I’ve spent my adult life on a long journey of recovery. It started while I was still in my late 20s when I vaguely realized something was wrong. That led to the realization that I had come from a very dysfunctional family. But I still had so many layers of dysfunction to take apart — and I had so much to learn in order to become an emotionally healthy adult.

Even now, I keep finding more habits to unlearn.

I wish I could have grown up with healthy mental habits and healthy inner beliefs about myself. I wish I could have been emotionally healthier when I was trying to build a company. I wish I could have seen the truth about myself and about the world in time to give myself more time to build on what I’ve learned.

I didn’t know those things as a child. I didn’t know them when I was 30. I didn’t even know them 10 years ago. But I know now.

This is the next in a series of videos dealing with issues that come up for me to think about as I write a book about my childhood experience of growing up with a narcissistic father. You can visit that YouTube channel to subscribe to future videos. (Liking and subscribing help me quite a bit in helping others to see the videos.) Or can can watch this video below.

Keep Reading