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I have another confession to make. I hate United Way. I also hate other similar charities that try to guilt me into giving them money, but United Way has a special place on my list of hated organizations. Let me explain.

See the T-shirt on the right? I shot that picture a year or so ago when I saw the guy wearing it eating at a fast food joint where I was. I took it because of the slogan: “I gave my fair share.” It made me ill.

I know slogans such as this one are supposed to guilt us into giving more money to charities, but seeing them just makes me not want to give the organization a penny. The idea that they’ve determined my “fair” donation is offensive and paternalistic to me.

When I used to work for “civic-minded companies,” we were invariably forced to sit through a pitch for payroll giving to United Way. The boss would always talk about how he’s proud that his company has had “100 percent participation” for ages. They even had some sort of gimmick by which the real Scrooges could give a token dollar so the company could still claim that everyone was participating. But they weren’t counting on me.

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I was talking with a friend earlier today about risks and rewards. She’s more conservative than I am about risks, so she sometimes has trouble letting herself mentally commit to something risky — especially when the reward is something she really wants.

The conversation reminded me of a story I’d like to share with you.

…I attended a lecture being given by a man who had made millions of dollars speculating in commodities. Along with several hundred other people, I had paid five dollars to hear how to make a fortune in the commodities market using the system developed by this highly successful trader.

The air in the packed meeting room was charged with excitement. We all felt as if we were being let in on a valuable secret that would make us all rich. By the middle of the lecture, the speaker had built up a full head of steam, explaining his charts, talking about margins and contracts and the different kinds of orders he placed with his broker.

Suddenly a spectator near the back of the large room stood up and said, “Hey, wait a minute. From what I can see, all this speculation is very risky business. Don’t you realize that you can lose every penny you have — and then some?”

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What was the key to changing Americans’ attitudes toward race relations in the ’70s? Some would argue that it was political activism or congressional action or even street protests. I’d say that “All in the Family” was more important than any of those.

Do you remember “All in the Family”? If you lived through the ’70s, you probably saw it as a first-run sitcom. If you came along after that, you probably saw some episodes in syndication. After a shaky start — on a network with no real expectations for it — “All in the Family” took off to become the monster sitcom hit of the ’70s, with a long period during which it was No. 1 rated.

The show was about a lovable bigot and his family — his dim-witted wife who sometimes had the biggest heart and best insights, their ultra-liberal daughter and her even more liberal new husband. It might sound like a typical sitcom family, but the subjects were anything but typical. It confronted racial issues and bigotry (among other social issues) in a very up-front way.

The show as a success because it was funny. It was well-written and well-acted. It felt as though its biggest mission was to entertain, not to preach. And that is why it worked better than all the preaching in the world.

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