FRIDAY FUNNIES

By David McElroy · February 10, 2012

We might all need a little therapy, but sometimes the dog has an entirely different reason for you to spend $120 an hour.

It took a long time, but the ducks finally fought back with decoys of their own.

Some women have accused men of looking at them in inappropriate ways — instead of looking them in the eyes. This would definitely turn the tables with some women I know.

When people ask you whether you’ve found Jesus, you’d better make sure you know for sure what they’re talking about.

And, finally, Mitt Romney’s campaign is considering coming out with a yard sign that reflects the real enthusiasm of the Republican voters who seem certain to make him the GOP nominee.

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Few things make me as happy as receiving email from readers or listeners to tell me that something I’ve done has been useful to them. I’ve been very happy and humbled to receive a number of strongly positive messages in the last couple of weeks about my first three podcast episodes. So far, though, this one which I received about today’s episode is my favorite: “I wanted to let you know your podcasts are healing. I’ve had Lyme disease for a few years and yesterday I was diagnosed with major depression. Your story about your Dad is going to help me at counseling tomorrow. Thank you.” It’s not often that we know when we influence others, so I really appreciate those of you who have taken the time to tell me such things. I hope that something I say can matter to you. I appreciate every one of you.

Top-down government efforts to push children into academics they’re not ready for are hurting everybody. According to experienced kindergarten teachers, children in kindergarten today are unhappier than ever — and more teachers are quitting than ever — all because government bureaucrats are dictating that play be set aside in favor of academics that kids aren’t ready for. According to psychologists, the academic benefits are very short-term, but the emotional damage being done to children is long-term and serious. I have no idea why so many well-meaning parents still trust their children to be raised and educated by government bureaucrats, no matter how much they might like some of the teachers involved. The system is broken and is failing students.

One of my favorite Christmas traditions is watching “How the Grinch Stole Christmas.” The 1966 animated version is the only one I recognize as faithful to the wonderful original book by Dr. Seuss, so don’t even mention the newer ones to me. If you’d like to watch this classic with me tonight, here’s a copy you can view online or download, but the link will be live only for tonight. (No longer live. Sorry.) I hope you enjoy it as much as I do and I also hope it makes you as happy as it makes me. If you hear someone singing along to the songs — quite badly, most likely — that will be me.

I’m in a McDonald’s restaurant and a man just came in to apologize to a manager for having been rude to her when they had a minor dispute a couple of hours ago. He said he had started thinking about it and was ashamed of the way he acted. So he wanted to let her know that he shouldn’t have spoken to her as he did. She accepted his apology and apologized again to him for the mistake that had been made with his order. They both seemed more at peace after the brief conversation. I really appreciate people who are willing to take responsibility for not meeting their own standards. That can take courage. It’s a lesson most of us need to keep in mind — and that definitely includes me.

I got a note today from a woman who lives on the other side of the country and has a young son: “[Young son] says that we should meet you sometime. He just said of your profile picture that he likes your face. I have shared photos and videos of Lucy and the cats since he was really little.” This made me profoundly happy. I trust the intuitive judgment of children about people. Little ones tend to read character very well. Adults are easy to fool, but it’s much harder to fool children about who you really are. I hope I do get to meet this young man and his mom one day.

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