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David McElroy

making sense of a dysfunctional culture

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THE McELROY ZOO: Meet Sam, the baby kitten I stole

By David McElroy · June 19, 2011

The first time I got a good look at Sam, he was flying through the air. Somebody was angry at this defenseless little kitten, so she threw the tiny ball of fur from her porch onto the driveway. The person doing the throwing never saw the kitten again. I stole him.

I don’t think much of people who let their dogs and cats breed indiscriminately. If that’s you, I’m sorry if it offends you, but we have so many cats and dogs being killed in shelters every day (and dying on the streets) that it’s irresponsible to be letting your animals churn out batches of kittens and puppies. Unfortunately, I have a neighbor who’s one of those people who doesn’t see anything wrong with it, so a beautiful gray cat of hers used to have two litters of kittens each year.

Sam was one of those kittens about four years ago. The mother and the kittens were never allowed into the house, so the kittens would grow up on the porch before starting to wander off into the neighborhood. Some would disappear for good. Some would get hit by cars. A lucky few would find homes. Then there was Sam.

I’ll never know what this woman was angry about when she threw Sam. I don’t really care. Nothing could justify what she did. When the little guy hit the ground, he started running in that awkward semi-slow-motion way that kittens do. He darted into bushes at the front of my house. The woman went back into her house.

I looked in the bushes for the kitten, but I couldn’t find him. But a little while later, I heard a faint meow on my porch. I opened the door and there he sat, waiting for me to pick him up. This little fellow wasn’t the least bit afraid. He was totally confident and very sure of himself. He seemed to love the attention and immediately started purring. Within a minute or so, he had balled himself up in my hand and was purring himself to sleep. (This is something he continued to do, as you can see in one of the pictures above.)

Since he already belonged to someone, I was torn about what to do. I didn’t want to leave him out there, but he wasn’t homeless — not technically. So I left him on the porch and went back inside.

A little while later, I checked again. He was still on the porch, sitting up and looking at the door — as though he was waiting for me to come back. I didn’t go out that time, because I didn’t want to encourage him to stay. But leaving the little guy out there alone was really tugging at my heartstrings.

When I went out the third time, he was asleep on my porch mat, as close to the door as he could get. It had now been hours and the woman hadn’t come to check on the kitten she had thrown. Without giving it any more thought, I scooped the little guy up and brought him inside. Other than for trips to the vet, he never left my house again.

I decided to name him for one of the men who had been important in declaring American Independence, because I decided he had come next door to declare his independence from where he had come from. So the little guy became Samuel Adams, and I always called him Sam.

After I’d had Sam for a few weeks, the woman who had thrown him mentioned to me that one of her cats was missing and she wanted to know if I’d seen it. She described Sam quite well. Without feeling even the slightest bit of guilt, I lied and said that I had no idea what happened to her cat. I also mentioned that I have two small cats who look a lot like him, though, because I figured if she was going to see him in one of my second-floor windows, she’d better have a reason to think it was another cat.

I’m not much of a thief. I’d normally feel terribly guilty for stealing anything. But stealing Sam was one of the better things I’ve ever done. He needed to get away from someone who would treat him like that.

Sam only lived for a couple of years, but he was a very loving cat who remained totally confident about himself and got along with other cats, with dogs and with people. I woke up one morning in March last year, and he was very, very lethargic — pretty much unwilling to move. Something was badly wrong with him, but I had no idea what it might be. I put him into a cat carrier and went to take a shower and get ready to take him to the vet.

By the time I finished showering, Sam was dead. I’ll never know why. He’s still in my life every day, though, because his picture is the lock screen on my iPhone. I do still miss him.

I have one good piece of news about the whole situation. Another neighbor and I decided to get the female cat fixed who was having all the kittens. My neighbor approached the owner and made the offer, which was accepted. Although the cat still isn’t being taken care of, she’s no longer having kittens twice a year. It was the least I could do for Sam’s mom.

Editor’s note: If you enjoyed meeting Sam, you might enjoy previous articles about Maggie, Henry, Lucy, Amelia, Charlotte and Emily.


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Filed Under: Uncategorized Tagged With: cat, kitten, neuter, pets, sam, spay, theft

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This was the Monday evening sunset. While I was wa This was the Monday evening sunset. While I was waiting for the right color and light, a swarm of gnats descended on my car. It was like the Hitchcock film “The Birds,” except they were gnats. So I got out of there before things could get ugly. 😺 #nature #naturephotography #sky #colorful #clouds #sunset #birmingham #alabama
I normally get home by the quickest path that will I normally get home by the quickest path that will take me there, but I wasn’t in the mood today to deal with lots of other drivers. So I skipped I-459 and went across the slower two-lane route of Alabama 119. The drive didn’t cure me of all that ails me, but it was a more pleasant and humane experience, at least for me. #nature #naturephotography #trees #countryroad #birmingham #alabama
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For “throwback Thursday, let me introduce you to For “throwback Thursday, let me introduce you to Sam. In 2009, I took in a young feral cat who I named for the early American revolutionary Samuel Adams. He was one of the most confident — downright arrogant, in fact — cats I’ve ever been around. He had an amazing personality and I immediately loved him. He was no more than 8 or 9 months old when he suddenly died for reasons that my vet couldn’t explain. Even though I had him only a short time, he was one of my all-time favorites. #tbt #cats #tabby #feral #birmingham #alabama
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Lucy has been happily rolling around in the freshl Lucy has been happily rolling around in the freshly cut grass of the back yard Wednesday evening. #dog #dogs #dogstagram #dogsofinstagram #cute #cutedog #pets #petstagram #petsofinstagram #instadog #ilovedogs #birmingham #alabama
Thomas believes that he is the Most Interesting Ca Thomas believes that he is the Most Interesting Cat in the World — and I can’t say he’s wrong tonight. #cat #cats #catstagram #catsofinstagram #cute #cutecat #pets #petstagram #petsofinstagram #tabby #tabbycat #instacat #ilovecats #birmingham #alabama
Merlin is ready for me to turn the last of the off Merlin is ready for me to turn the last of the office lights off so he and Thomas can sleep peacefully without me muttering to myself as I write. #cat #cats #catstagram #catsofinstagram #cute #cutecat #pets #petstagram #petsofinstagram #merlin2024 #instacat #ilovecats #birmingham #alabama
Lucy just finished a Neighborhood Watch patrol and Lucy just finished a Neighborhood Watch patrol and now she’s cooling off in the back yard before heading inside for dinner. Her work is never done. #dog #dogs #dogstagram #dogsofinstagram #cute #cutedog #pets #petstagram #petsofinstagram #instadog #ilovedogs #birmingham #alabama
Except when he’s asleep, Thomas always looks as Except when he’s asleep, Thomas always looks as though he’s on high alert and ready to run away from danger. His feral early years still dominate his internal programming. #cat #cats #catstagram #catsofinstagram #cute #cutecat #pets #petstagram #petsofinstagram #tabby #tabbycat #instacat #ilovecats #birmingham #alabama
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My favorite photos of Merlin tend to be those — My favorite photos of Merlin tend to be those — such as this one — in which he seems to be contemplating difficult issues. Feline philosophy or quantum physics or something else that he figures I wouldn’t understand. #cat #cats #catstagram #catsofinstagram #cute #cutecat #pets #petstagram #petsofinstagram #merlin2024 #instacat #ilovecats #birmingham #alabama #caturday
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On a live awards show Sunday night, one man made a joke about a female celebrity. The husband of the celebrity was offended and hit the man who made the joke. Or maybe it was staged for entertainment. Who knows? Who cares? Social media is full of discussion — and even arguments — about this idiocy today. This baffles me. Let’s assume for a moment that the event happened as reported. People have been having such idiotic fights ever since there have been humans. Half the bars in the world see such brief dustups regularly. It simply doesn’t matter. The fact that so many people believe they need to talk about this — or even need to have opinions about it — is more evidence of the bizarre media brainwashing that convinces many to care passionately about brain-dead trivia. Your life will be happier and saner if you focus on yourself, your family and your friends, not on whatever scripted (or spontaneous) bilge that the media wants to pipe into your home.

I’m in the middle of migrating this website to new servers this week. This means you might encounter some unexpected behavior until I get all the bugs worked out. Clicking on my links (including this one) might cause your browser to give you the message that it’s a site without a current security certificate. It’s not actually unsafe, but there’s something which isn’t yet set up for the security certificate. I apologize for any such errors you might encounter while the process is going on. If you notice any problems with content which didn’t migrate properly, I would appreciate you letting me know the details at davidmcelroy@mac.com. Thanks for your patience.

I often wonder what animals think when they look at us and consider the society we’ve created. Yes, I know this is fanciful and unrealistic, but what if they could? Would they be astounded at how we treat each other? Would they be disgusted by the ugliness and pettiness which fill so many of our daily interactions? The truth is that I’m feeling pretty disgusted with humanity tonight. I made the mistake of reading some online interactions that I should have avoided — and it sickened me. The people involved appeared to be vile and stupid and arrogant. I wish I could pretend they’re a tiny minority, but I know better. It’s times such as this when I most need to escape much of “civilization” and disconnect from their world. If humans are going to be worthy of “ruling this planet,” we have a lot of growth to do. And I fear that growth is nowhere in sight. So my buddy Thomas, above, and all of his friends would be right to judge us harshly — and to think, “Why do you folks get to be in charge?”

I should have expected this, but I honestly didn’t. The article I wrote last week about disagreements over treatment for autistic children brought me angry emails. You could almost call it “hate mail.” Of the five emails about it so far, two have been to tell me that I’m wrong to even listen to critics of the most popular therapy for autistic children — and the other three tell me I’m wrong for not condemning the treatment as the “obvious” abuse it is. If you read the article, you know I didn’t take a position on the issue, because I simply don’t know enough to have an opinion. But by talking about the issue, I stepped into a heated controversy. The emails from the two sides convinced me of nothing. But they did give me even more empathy for the unfortunate parents who have to figure out for themselves where the truth lies for their children.

Have you ever had what you thought was a new idea — and then discovered that “old you” had the same idea years ago? I had that experience tonight. And it’s been wonderful. I came up with an idea tonight for a very short satirical film that would be a promotion for a fictitious college. The point is to make the college promote — as good things — everything which is actually terrible about most modern colleges. Then I remembered a fake college that I invented back when I was in college. I had created student recruitment brochures and various newsletters back then, so I decided to call my “new” college by the same name I’d invented years ago: Ochita College. As I searched my computer for any old material I might still have about Ochita from the past, I discovered an email I sent to someone in 2009 — outlining essentially the same idea which I came up with tonight. Since I didn’t remember writing that, it felt like magic. So my next film project just might be this one instead. If all goes well, you might soon see “Ochita College: Your Future Starts Here.” This should be fun.

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