Dogs, cats and children remind me of all the joy in small things

By David McElroy · April 25, 2018

As I get ready for bed tonight, I feel a sense of joy and satisfaction which I didn’t feel when I left work at 5 p.m.

The last six weeks or so have been very stressful. My father’s death has intensified a lot of old hurts that haven’t gone away. It’s been difficult to deal with the flood of emotions since I’m alone and haven’t had someone to help me work things through. And I’ve been preoccupied with other issues that make it difficult to get through my work day.

But when I came home, I was greeted by some cats. Some grumpy. Some happy. All hungry.

Then I took Lucy out for some exploring in the neighborhood. Before I knew it, the painful old emotions were set aside. The stress of the day was forgotten. I just got to enjoy time alone with a beautiful creature who loves and adores me.

There are so many things in my life — and in this world — which pull me toward feeling miserable, but Lucy and the cats and the children I encounter all make me feel joy. They make me feel happy to be alive.

I don’t have the things that I need right now to make me happy and satisfied in the long run, but in spite of that, this world can be an amazing place.

There’s so much beauty and joy and delight. It’s always there, but sometimes it’s hard to notice. It’s really easy to focus on the ugly parts, especially when media have discovered they can make far more money by screaming terrible things at us and emphasizing divisions between us.

There’s an old song by Christian singer/songwriter Bob Bennett that illustrates this well. Here’s how “Madness Dancing” starts:

In the middle of this madness I am dancing
Though I’m not sure why just now
I tried to be sober, tried to be logical
But I could not stop my feet
I know I have not turned off my mind
I know there’s evil all around me
But for now, it’s outside
And I am in my room
And joy is like a crashing tide

We do have choices. We can choose to focus on the things which make us miserable or we can find the things which give us joy — and take as much joy from those things as we possibly can.

I’m not Pollyanna. I’m not suggesting we can magically wish away unhappiness or bad life situations. I’m just saying we can choose to find joy in small things. At least sometimes. We can put ourselves as close to joy as we can get under our circumstances.

It makes me happy when I walk through the door at the end of the day and Lucy acts as though she’s the luckiest girl in the world that I’ve returned.

It makes me happy when three-legged, green-eyed Bessie wakes up from her nap and looks at me with the expectation that I’ve come to give her the dinner she wants. I need her to need me.

It makes me happy when I’m in a restaurant and the toddler at the next table is more interested in playing peek-a-boo with me than with eating her dinner. (It helps when her family thinks it’s cute and they’re not annoyed with me distracting her, of course.)

I get joy and happiness from children and dogs and cats and sunsets and the hope of looking into the eyes of love again.

I get joy from taking photos of my animal friends and of nature around me. (Just imagine how much joy I’m going to get from photographing my own children one day — if they want to cooperate.)

There’s so much ugliness in this world. There’s so much squalor and unhappiness. There’s misery everywhere.

But there’s also love. There’s hope. There’s joy.

I don’t have everything that I want in life. I haven’t achieved all my goals or built the family that I’d like to build. I’m not yet where I had hoped to be by now.

But there’s so much joy to find in this world.

I watched a stunning sunset Tuesday night. I spent time outside exploring with my Lucy Wednesday night. I had purring cats who are happy to see me.

Those things don’t change the things that I wish were different, but the joy I get from them makes everything else worth enduring — and they remind me to hold onto hope that I’ll one day have the things I want and need.

So I thank my Lucy for bringing me joy this evening in the midst of this world’s madness. There’s plenty more joy waiting all around me — just waiting for me to find it.

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I have no use for the theocratic and repressive government of Iran. The people who run the country are cruel at best and evil at worst. The Iranian people deserve freedom. But I have no personal quarrel with anybody in Iran. While I’m not thrilled about a future Iranian government having nuclear weapons, I’m just as concerned about nukes in the hands of politicians in Israel, Pakistan, India, China and Russia. I’m not even thrilled with the U.S., Britain and France having them, either, because I don’t trust any politicians to be responsible with such terrible weapons. All I can say with certainty is that American taxpayers have no business attacking Iran, especially since we’re being forced to pay for this attack in order to benefit the politicians of Israel — and nobody else. If Middle Eastern countries want to fight among themselves, that’s none of my business. It’s not the business of the U.S. government, either. I have no quarrel with anybody in Iran — and having the government which claims to represent me launch an unprovoked attack against a sovereign country will only make all Americans less safe in the near future. This attack is poorly conceived and morally unjustified. Remember that when the Iranians launch attacks that we will then condemn as “terrorism.” What the U.S. is doing right now looks like terrorism to me. And let’s not forget that the attack is the latest in a long line of unconstitutional wars by various U.S. presidents — who have no legal power to declare war on their own, according to the U.S. Constitution.

A child having a tantrum understands only one thing: Did I get my way or not? He doesn’t understand the issues involved. He doesn’t understand the reasons that went into a decision. He doesn’t understand any of the things that mature and reasonable adults have to understand in order to live healthy lives. By his reaction to the U.S. Supreme Court’s ruling to strike down his disastrous tariff scheme, Donald Trump shows himself to be — once more — a screaming child having a tantrum. Outside the world of mob bosses who expect to get their way every time, normal adults don’t act this way, but Trump isn’t normal. He’s an angry and vengeful man who has narcissistic personality disorder. And we are in danger as a result. Trump doesn’t understand the legal issues involved in this ruling. He doesn’t understand economics. He doesn’t understand rule of law. He doesn’t understand that he can ever be wrong. All he understands is that he didn’t get his way. And he is now a narcissistic and raging little boy who also happens to hold life-and-death power over most humans on this planet. He’s dangerous — and the system which gives him that power is even more dangerous.

Is it an attempt to blur the gender line between men and women? Or is it some weird tribute to the traditional Scottish kilt? It’s hard to say, but fashion designers keep pushing for men to wear skirts in the last few years. Both men and women in modern fashion seem oddly androgynous, as though it would be offensive for a man to look manly or for a woman to look feminine. A CNN article about the latest fashions from Paris caught my attention Monday and left me wondering about the ugly clothes the designers are hawking. If a man wants to wear a skirt — or a kilt — that’s OK with me, but I’ll stick with a traditional dark suit with a white shirt and tie. (Well, when I’m not wearing t-shirts and sweats, of course.) I always wonder who actually buys the outlandish garb from fashion designers anyway. I would be humiliated to be seen in any of this stuff, but I obviously have no sense of high fashion.

If you have problems with high blood pressure, I’d like to encourage you to consider making serious changes to your diet. There might be some people who don’t have any choice but to start taking prescription medications for high blood pressure, but I’d like to tell you that I have completely eliminated my issue by eliminating all sugar and almost all carbohydrates. (A couple of months ago, my blood pressure hit 185/144, which was dangerously high — considered stage 3 hypertension.) By completely changing my eating habits, I’m down 22 pounds and my blood pressure is now in the “ideal” range — without taking any medication. In addition, I sleep better and I have more energy. Getting away from the sugar-laden mess that we generally refer to as “highly processed food” has been a life-changer for me. Now my challenge is to avoid slipping back into old habits — by eating in the dangerous ways that almost everyone in our society has come to see as normal.

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