Are you ready for chaos when fed shutdown turns your gravity off?

Are you ready for the government shutdown? Have you heard how dangerous it will be?

The mainstream media is warning us in ominous tones about the federal government shutting down Friday night after funding authorization ends. Everybody agrees it’s a terrible thing. But do you have any idea just how bad things are going to get without government to control everything?

You’ve probably heard that roughly a fourth of the federal government will shut down. That’s nine federal departments and smaller agencies. About 380,000 “non-essential” federal employees will be sent home and about 420,000 employees (“essential,” apparently) will work and not be paid.

But have you made plans for what to do when the feds turn gravity off? And what about when the solar power bill isn’t paid? How many days of darkness are you prepared for?

Are you scared yet?

Since governments own the roads, you won’t be able to drive your car. In fact, there are credible rumors that highway builders will begin repossessing streets and highways early Saturday morning. If you hear activity in your street and see the pavement being carted off, that’s the repo men turning your street into a dirt road?

Are you scared yet?

When the government shuts down, criminals will all break out of their cells and roam the streets. Without wise politicians and bureaucrats to save us, they will break into your home and steal your stuff. There will be chaos and widespread looting, all because nobody in Washington will be there to give orders.

Are you scared yet?

I’ll bet you didn’t even know that gravity wouldn’t work without government. There’s a switch somewhere in the Department of the Interior that will be turned off at midnight. That will block off national parks and museums and any other place tourists might want to go, but that’s just the tip of the iceberg. When the big switch is flipped, gravity will be turned off. Planes will fall from the sky and trains will float in the air. Chaos, I tell you.

Be prepared by having yourself firmly anchored to the ground. Stay inside and tie yourself to the floor. And don’t let yourself be caught outside, because you would drift right into outer space. Do you see the terrible consequences of closing the government?

Are you scared yet?

And do you have plenty of flashlight batteries to get you through the long days and nights without the sun? Without the wise and magnificent government agencies in place to keep the sun shining over North America, the sunlight will go to other countries instead — countries where the politicians are paying the solar power bill.

Are you scared yet?

The mainstream media speak of the shutdown in dark tones. They know how bad it will be, but they can’t tell you the full truth. That would cause panic. Nobody wants to tell you how bad things are going to get without politicians to control the world and bureaucrats to make up rules and carry them out.

So are you scared yet?

Keep the pressure on your congresscritters to keep the government running. There’s nothing worse than a world where politicians and bureaucrats aren’t in place to rule us. Nobody could want such a thing.