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If you don’t feel overwhelmed, you just aren’t paying attention

By David McElroy · July 13, 2020

This society is rapidly becoming a place where I no longer want to live — and it’s happening far more quickly than I expected.

It’s hard for me to be certain whether the world is the problem or if it’s really just me. Maybe what we’re going through is normal and I simply hate “the new normal.” (I detest that phrase.) Maybe I would deal with it better if it weren’t for my childhood programming.

I’m sure it’s some of both. But wherever the specifics lie, I’m feeling overwhelmed and so are lots of others. Maybe you’re feeling a bit of the same. Or maybe there’s some feeling in your gut that you’re trying to ignore.

In 1970, the futurist Alvin Toffler published a book called “Future Shock,” which he described as a psychological state of individuals and entire societies — who are experiencing “too much change in too short a period of time.”

The world was already changing quickly, but it’s accelerated. What‘s worse, it feels as though we’re passengers in a car being driven by a madman — and the madman is gunning the engine as he steers us all off the edge of a cliff.

If you’re not terrified, you’re not paying attention.

Everybody seems eager to blame somebody.

For some, the villain is Donald Trump and all will be right with the world once he’s defeated. For others, it’s the “fake news” or the “deep state” or whichever way they want to see the evil liberals who oppose Trump. The Neo-Marxists of the Black Lives Matter organization are the villains to other people, but those who are essentially mirror images of these people think there’s a “white supremacist” hiding under every rock.

We could go on and on. The Chinese government. Some shadowy international “new world order” conspiracy. Atheists. Christians. Muslims. Somebody seems to blame almost everybody, both real and imagined.

The truth is both simpler and more complicated. It’s simpler in the sense that there isn’t any grand conspiracy. It’s more complicated in that we are facing the forces of history that were put into place — completely unknowingly — by arrogant and ignorant elites more than a hundred years ago.

Bad ideas have bad consequences. Lousy economic ideas of the past and idiotic socialist nonsense today are pointing us toward failure.

One country after another debased its currency by destroying a system which tied the value of money to real assets. The world was hitched to a fiat currency system which was irrational for the long term but which allowed economists and bureaucrats to believe in the short term that they could perform magic through ignoring reality.

There are economic bills which are going to come due, but there are many demographic groups which see themselves as victims which are demanding power — and they’re demanding the right to take what they believe has been taken from them. The Marxists will slowly take over in the coming decades, regardless of what they call themselves.

It’s not worth trying to untangle the blame for all of it here. I could write many thousands of words and not make everybody happy. All you need to know is that almost everybody feels like a victim of somebody.

But as we’re all about to go off the cliff together, the last thing that really matters is what got us into this position. I have some pretty good ideas. Other people have their own ideas. We would disagree. But what matters is figuring out how we can avoid destroying ourselves.

The best thing that individuals can do is to save themselves and their families. The world is going to burn — to one extent or another — and there’s nothing you and I can do to stop it. I don’t think anybody can stop the destructive conflicts that are coming.

And I have a serious personal problem in dealing with all the conflict around us. I am wired to hate conflict and to feel as though conflict is always an attack on me. I learned that from my childhood. I assume this isn’t an issue for you — unless you were raised by a narcissist — but the current conflict in the world has pushed some childhood programming buttons for me.

Disagreement and conflict feel like betrayal to someone who was raised by a narcissist. Those things feel like an attack and they require an angry response and counterattack — because they hurt badly in ways that I can’t explain.

There is more disagreement and conflict today — even among people who have known one another for years and who care for each other — than I have ever seen. And feeling the slings and arrows of that conflict all around me leave me feeling shellshocked.

If I express a thought and don’t feel support from those around me, that feels like betrayal to me. It makes me feel very small once again — and it makes me feel as though I’ve done something wrong. For years, I assumed that everybody felt these ways. Those feelings — those fears — were so much a part of my “normal” that their existence was invisible to me.

It was only after I came to understand narcissism — and understood what narcissists do to their victims — that I came to understand how this process works. And because of understanding this, I know how narcissists around me act. I know why they do the insane things they do. They do these things because they feel irrationally attacked — just as I did.

I was lucky enough to come to understand the psychological process — so I could watch it happen in my own head — and stop myself from becoming the narcissist I could have been. But as I’ve told you before, I was bitten by the narcissistic vampire. I was damaged. I just didn’t become the monster that I could have been.

All of this might be irrelevant to your life. It probably is. But for me, it makes the chaos around me far worse.

We all have different personal baggage that we’ve brought with us to this chaotic point in history, and that means we’re going to interpret things differently and act in different ways.

Some will go into denial, because it’s their only way to deal with the chaos. Others will angrily become part of the conflict. They will become killers and destroyers, and they’ll justify the evil things they do in the name of their cause. Others will be victims. Still others will react in dozens of different ways.

Many of the people I know want to get away from what’s going on. Even if they have different ways of explaining what they’re scared of. Even if they have different things they want to escape. They all feel the desire to run — to go somewhere to avoid the chaotic collapse they feel coming.

If I had the money to run and a partner who was willing to escape, I would be gone. I know things are going to get bad and I’d rather find someplace to hide that might be safe.

But I don’t have the money I need. I don’t have the partner I need. I don’t have the solution I need. So I watch with growing apprehension as things get worse every day, wondering why so many people don’t realize that we’re heading for a cliff at high speed.

We have to find ways to save ourselves, but that can’t happen until you acknowledge that there’s a once-in-a-lifetime emergency going on — and nobody is coming to save you.

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Future Photo Display

As part of my effort to rid my life of social media, I will no longer display links to my two Instagram accounts here. Those accounts will be dormant for the time being and will eventually be deleted. I plan to have a method for displaying photos here instead, but the solutions I’ve tested so far have been disappointing. I’m still working on it.

My Instagram

I need some new portraits of myself, so I tried a I need some new portraits of myself, so I tried a few shots after I got home late Monday night. This one wasn’t great, so I’ll try again later, but I can use it until I have time to shoot another. I was too lazy to light this one properly — and it shows. 😺
Sunset, Leeds, Alabama — August 27, 2026 Sunset, Leeds, Alabama — August 27, 2026
Sunset, Leeds, Alabama — August 19, 2026 Sunset, Leeds, Alabama — August 19, 2026
When I got home at midnight Monday, I was doing so When I got home at midnight Monday, I was doing some work in the studio and Oliver wanted to join me, so I showed him around to acclimate him to the place again. He rarely goes in there, but I have pictures of him in that studio on the night I brought him home as a kitten. 😺
Earlier this week, I found two photos of Lucy and Earlier this week, I found two photos of Lucy and me that I had never seen. I loved finding the pictures, but seeing these photos left me thinking about the effect it has on us when we lose an animal we love — and it was also a reminder of how much my life has changed for the last nine months it’s been since I lost her. I wrote an essay about this. You can find it as the most recent post at davidmcelroy.org right now if you’re interested. I really do miss this sweet girl.
When I take lightning pictures, I’m always hoping When I take lightning pictures, I’m always hoping to get just one usable photo, but I got two dramatic images tonight. You might recognize the water tower and communication tower that you’ve seen in many of my sunset photos. This is about a mile from my house in Leeds, which is just east of Birmingham.
For those who are in places where it’s miserably h For those who are in places where it’s miserably hot today, here is a minute of light rain and gentle thunder from my back yard late Saturday afternoon. It’s very relaxing to stand at my back door and watch this, especially since the heat is pretty mild today — 80 degrees (about 26 celsius) — for July in the American South.
Alex was willing to cooperate with me for a new po Alex was willing to cooperate with me for a new portrait late Wednesday night. It’s been roughly three and a half years now since the cold night when I was able to lure him out from behind a garbage dumpster into a trap — but I don’t think he’s sorry at this point that he fell for the trick. 😺
This is the face of a man who’s thrilled that the This is the face of a man who’s thrilled that the weekend is finally here. It was a very long (and productive) week, but the time has finally come that I have time to write and read and think. Late Friday night, I’m at the McDonald’s near my house with a Diet Dr Pepper and a MacBook. For me, it’s like Cheers without the booze.
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I was taking a photo of Sam in an office window wh I was taking a photo of Sam in an office window when Oliver decided he should have some attention, too. Sam knows that his bigger brother is upstaging him, but he’s not sure whether to stay in the window or jump down.
From the CritterCam: Alex has been sleeping in the From the CritterCam: Alex has been sleeping in the cat bed on my desk Thursday night, but Oliver seems to be trying to bully him into moving so the big gray boy can have the spot instead. But Alex turned back around and went back to sleep. Oliver was disappointed, but walked away.
From the CritterCam: Even though I’m not at home, From the CritterCam: Even though I’m not at home, Alex seems to know that I’m watching him over the webcam. He’ll be back to sleep any moment, though.
Late Wednesday night, Meg is relaxing on the bed w Late Wednesday night, Meg is relaxing on the bed while I write in the bedroom. Every now and then, Oliver cruises by the foot of the bed and she takes off to chase him — then seems to remember that he has “boy cooties” and breaks off the chase. She seems pretty happy to be here as she finishes Day 22 in the house with us.
Just before midnight, Meg is purring in my arms as Just before midnight, Meg is purring in my arms as we hang out together in the bedroom. She’s a photogenic little girl.
Meg is just hanging out in the office on the castl Meg is just hanging out in the office on the castle Tuesday afternoon. That’s Sam on the mantle behind her. Today marks three weeks since she came inside and went to the vet, but it seems as though she’s been here much longer than that.
From the CritterCam: I just checked the webcam as From the CritterCam: I just checked the webcam as I was trying to get to sleep. Alex has firm control of then cat bed, but Oliver seems to be stalking him in an intimidating fashion — which doesn’t seem the least bit intimidating to Alex. Every cat seems certain that he or she deserves exactly what he or she wants. We humans could learn a lot about confidence from felines.
I love how relaxed and confident Meg is when she h I love how relaxed and confident Meg is when she hangs ou in my lap. This is just before midnight Monday night. Tomorrow will mark her third full week with us. I’d say she’s pretty happy with this transition, even if she’s still wary of her brothers some of the time. I actually saw her charge Oliver briefly tonight — and he got out of her way. So she’s learning.
Just before sunset, Meg and I have been spying on Just before sunset, Meg and I have been spying on one of the neighbors who was out in her yard across the street. Meg seems to be quite a natural at this Neighborhood Watch stuff.
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The company that owns Facebook and Instagram is heavily promoting its new AI-based software assistant called Muse, but people who are using it as it was designed are incredibly foolish. An early adopter of the software discovered that a few days ago when he advertised an item for sale on Facebook Marketplace — and he inadvertently gave Muse full authority to act on his behalf. The software agreed to a lowball offer made by another Facebook user and then gave that man the home address of the man for whom he was an agent. The software told the buyer that the seller was home and waiting for him. When the buyer showed up and waited angrily, the would-be buyer left an angry review for the man. And this angry man had the seller’s home address. It was only well after that that the software reported what it had done and admitted it had made a mistake. I won’t be putting that much power into the hands of any software. I think anyone who agrees to such terms is a fool. And the software’s user agreement says you’re responsible for purchases the software makes in your name. Nope.

Meet my new girlfriend. Her name is Meg. And she’s my little sweetheart. A couple of months ago, a neighbor across the street told me about a new stray in the neighborhood that she and I were both soon feeding. The cat had been very skittish about contact and she had a lot of scabs and parasites in her fur, but a trip to the vet last week revealed that she was otherwise in good health. The vet estimates her to be 1 to 2 years old. I named her for Meg Murry, the 13-year-old protagonist of Madeleine L’Engle’s wonderful book, “A Wrinkle in Time.” (Please read the book. Don’t watch the horrible movie.) Since we lost Lucy almost a year ago, it seems appropriate that we finally have a new little girl to join the household. She’s already captured my heart, but Alex, Oliver and Sam aren’t there quite yet.

There’s nothing socially acceptable that’s as dangerous as drinking alcohol. Most people grow up being told to “drink responsibly” — and all of us see people abusing this drug in one way or another — but the truth is that drinking alcohol is always a terrible risk. The alcohol in these drinks is toxic and the human liver has to work hard to filter the toxins out. What most people don’t realize is that alcohol is classified as a known carcinogen by the World Health Organization — because of the well-established connection between imbibing and various cancers. Many people have taken refuge behind the idea that light or moderate drinking might be safe, but a new study shows that drinking even one drink a day increases the risks of 10 types of cancer. When I was a teen-ager, I looked around and saw the negative effects that this behavior had on a lot of people and decided not to start drinking, so I’ve never even tried this poison. The evidence keeps piling up that I was lucky to have come to that conclusion early.

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Here’s the latest of my ridiculous parody shorts. It crossed my mind Tuesday to wonder what a slick and fast-talking car dealer might do right now to try to turn the high price of gasoline to his advantage. So I conceived of a fat and lovable character who tried to sell cars that don’t use any fuel — and then I started wondering if it would be funnier if all the characters were felines. Designing the King Cashpaw character took about four hours, but the rest took only another four hours, so this was a relatively quick piece that virtually wrote itself. I know it’s almost impossible for these parody videos to find a larger audience, but at least they amuse me — and there are 19 of them on my YouTube page now. The first few were very limited, but they’re getting more complex.

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