I am painfully aware of what was done to me as a child. I still need to talk about it and be sure I understand it. But I’ve reached the point that I am no longer remaining a victim. When I was a child, my father took power away from me completely and he held onto that power after I became an adult. He kept reinforcing the ways in which he was the one with power and I was the one who was under his thumb. Even though he’s dead, it would be easy to keep living that way — to keep living as though I had no power and I had no ability to get past what he did to me.
But that isn’t what I want. That isn’t what I need. I am slowly taking back the power that I had given up to him. I’m taking back the control that I allowed him to keep over me far into my adult life. I can be who I really am. I can take back the power over my own life. And in doing these things, I can finally stop victimizing myself. I can slowly stop being anybody’s victim, but only because I’ve healed enough that I’m ready to do that.
This is the next in a series of videos dealing with issues that come up for me to think about as I write a book about my childhood experience of growing up with a narcissistic father. You can visit that YouTube channel to subscribe to future videos. (Liking and subscribing help me quite a bit in helping others to see the videos.) Or you can watch the most recent video below.