To save my own sanity, it’s time for me to shut up about Trump

By David McElroy · January 24, 2025

One of my biggest problems in life is constantly falling for the delusion that I can get people with wildly divergent views — people who hate each other — to see things differently. I have the delusional belief that I can help people find common ground by giving both sides a third way of looking at a problem.

Objectively, I know that I’m wrong to believe I can change the way others see things, but I spend too much time trying to play this unintentional “mediator” role.

And it often takes an emotional toll on me. That’s what it’s doing right now.

I’m going to really try to step back from commenting on anything around Donald Trump right now, simply because his supporters and his most dishonest detractors are upsetting me equally. I find that there’s no way to deal with all of the dishonesty coming from both sides about Trump.

I’ve made it very clear — for years — that I think Trump is a lying narcissist who is uniquely dangerous. He is an evil man. Nobody could confuse me for someone who has any support for him, but I’m also infuriated by people who base their attacks against him on irrational and dishonest arguments.

I feel the need to explain to some of those people why they’re being dishonest and unfair, but I also feel the need to explain to his supporters why he’s dangerous and doesn’t deserve their support and adulation. Especially given the intensity of arguments during the early part of his new administration, I can’t emotionally keep up with the need to fill this irrational “mediator-wannabe” role.

So I’m going to try very hard right now to pull back from commenting on any of the Trump idiocy, whether it’s some new outrage that he does or if it’s an outrage being perpetrated by his fans or his detractors. Since I had quit writing articles about him long ago, this is mostly going to be an attempt to get myself to shut up about anything Trump-related on social media.

Given the fact that I’m not going to change any views on these subjects — and given the fact that it takes too much out of me to try — I think this is the sanest thing I can do to protect myself. So if you see me ignoring things that I might have otherwise talked about, this is why.

I need to live an emotionally healthy life — and I don’t think I can live that way while also allowing myself to be pulled into the cesspool of Trump commentary. I’d really like to believe that I could give both extremes a new way of looking at things — and a way to stop hating each other so badly — but I know better. Nothing I say is helping others. And my attempts are hurting me.

There’s a part of me that wishes that enough people cared about my perspective to be disappointed by this semi-withdrawal from commentary on the subject, I’m also realistic enough to realize that almost nobody cares and even fewer will notice.

So keep shouting right past the people you don’t understand — those of you on both sides. I hope this sort of constant self-righteous confrontation isn’t as toxic to you as it is to me.

I desperately wish I could change minds on both sides of this hateful and toxic public shouting match, because I really do care about all of you, even though who I think are badly deluded in one way or another. But since I know I can’t, the best thing I can do is shut up and look away from the painful hate and idiocy and dishonesty all around me.

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On a live awards show Sunday night, one man made a joke about a female celebrity. The husband of the celebrity was offended and hit the man who made the joke. Or maybe it was staged for entertainment. Who knows? Who cares? Social media is full of discussion — and even arguments — about this idiocy today. This baffles me. Let’s assume for a moment that the event happened as reported. People have been having such idiotic fights ever since there have been humans. Half the bars in the world see such brief dustups regularly. It simply doesn’t matter. The fact that so many people believe they need to talk about this — or even need to have opinions about it — is more evidence of the bizarre media brainwashing that convinces many to care passionately about brain-dead trivia. Your life will be happier and saner if you focus on yourself, your family and your friends, not on whatever scripted (or spontaneous) bilge that the media wants to pipe into your home.

I’m in the middle of migrating this website to new servers this week. This means you might encounter some unexpected behavior until I get all the bugs worked out. Clicking on my links (including this one) might cause your browser to give you the message that it’s a site without a current security certificate. It’s not actually unsafe, but there’s something which isn’t yet set up for the security certificate. I apologize for any such errors you might encounter while the process is going on. If you notice any problems with content which didn’t migrate properly, I would appreciate you letting me know the details at davidmcelroy@mac.com. Thanks for your patience.

I often wonder what animals think when they look at us and consider the society we’ve created. Yes, I know this is fanciful and unrealistic, but what if they could? Would they be astounded at how we treat each other? Would they be disgusted by the ugliness and pettiness which fill so many of our daily interactions? The truth is that I’m feeling pretty disgusted with humanity tonight. I made the mistake of reading some online interactions that I should have avoided — and it sickened me. The people involved appeared to be vile and stupid and arrogant. I wish I could pretend they’re a tiny minority, but I know better. It’s times such as this when I most need to escape much of “civilization” and disconnect from their world. If humans are going to be worthy of “ruling this planet,” we have a lot of growth to do. And I fear that growth is nowhere in sight. So my buddy Thomas, above, and all of his friends would be right to judge us harshly — and to think, “Why do you folks get to be in charge?”

I should have expected this, but I honestly didn’t. The article I wrote last week about disagreements over treatment for autistic children brought me angry emails. You could almost call it “hate mail.” Of the five emails about it so far, two have been to tell me that I’m wrong to even listen to critics of the most popular therapy for autistic children — and the other three tell me I’m wrong for not condemning the treatment as the “obvious” abuse it is. If you read the article, you know I didn’t take a position on the issue, because I simply don’t know enough to have an opinion. But by talking about the issue, I stepped into a heated controversy. The emails from the two sides convinced me of nothing. But they did give me even more empathy for the unfortunate parents who have to figure out for themselves where the truth lies for their children.

Have you ever had what you thought was a new idea — and then discovered that “old you” had the same idea years ago? I had that experience tonight. And it’s been wonderful. I came up with an idea tonight for a very short satirical film that would be a promotion for a fictitious college. The point is to make the college promote — as good things — everything which is actually terrible about most modern colleges. Then I remembered a fake college that I invented back when I was in college. I had created student recruitment brochures and various newsletters back then, so I decided to call my “new” college by the same name I’d invented years ago: Ochita College. As I searched my computer for any old material I might still have about Ochita from the past, I discovered an email I sent to someone in 2009 — outlining essentially the same idea which I came up with tonight. Since I didn’t remember writing that, it felt like magic. So my next film project just might be this one instead. If all goes well, you might soon see “Ochita College: Your Future Starts Here.” This should be fun.

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