To save my own sanity, it’s time for me to shut up about Trump

By David McElroy · January 24, 2025

One of my biggest problems in life is constantly falling for the delusion that I can get people with wildly divergent views — people who hate each other — to see things differently. I have the delusional belief that I can help people find common ground by giving both sides a third way of looking at a problem.

Objectively, I know that I’m wrong to believe I can change the way others see things, but I spend too much time trying to play this unintentional “mediator” role.

And it often takes an emotional toll on me. That’s what it’s doing right now.

I’m going to really try to step back from commenting on anything around Donald Trump right now, simply because his supporters and his most dishonest detractors are upsetting me equally. I find that there’s no way to deal with all of the dishonesty coming from both sides about Trump.

I’ve made it very clear — for years — that I think Trump is a lying narcissist who is uniquely dangerous. He is an evil man. Nobody could confuse me for someone who has any support for him, but I’m also infuriated by people who base their attacks against him on irrational and dishonest arguments.

I feel the need to explain to some of those people why they’re being dishonest and unfair, but I also feel the need to explain to his supporters why he’s dangerous and doesn’t deserve their support and adulation. Especially given the intensity of arguments during the early part of his new administration, I can’t emotionally keep up with the need to fill this irrational “mediator-wannabe” role.

So I’m going to try very hard right now to pull back from commenting on any of the Trump idiocy, whether it’s some new outrage that he does or if it’s an outrage being perpetrated by his fans or his detractors. Since I had quit writing articles about him long ago, this is mostly going to be an attempt to get myself to shut up about anything Trump-related on social media.

Given the fact that I’m not going to change any views on these subjects — and given the fact that it takes too much out of me to try — I think this is the sanest thing I can do to protect myself. So if you see me ignoring things that I might have otherwise talked about, this is why.

I need to live an emotionally healthy life — and I don’t think I can live that way while also allowing myself to be pulled into the cesspool of Trump commentary. I’d really like to believe that I could give both extremes a new way of looking at things — and a way to stop hating each other so badly — but I know better. Nothing I say is helping others. And my attempts are hurting me.

There’s a part of me that wishes that enough people cared about my perspective to be disappointed by this semi-withdrawal from commentary on the subject, I’m also realistic enough to realize that almost nobody cares and even fewer will notice.

So keep shouting right past the people you don’t understand — those of you on both sides. I hope this sort of constant self-righteous confrontation isn’t as toxic to you as it is to me.

I desperately wish I could change minds on both sides of this hateful and toxic public shouting match, because I really do care about all of you, even though who I think are badly deluded in one way or another. But since I know I can’t, the best thing I can do is shut up and look away from the painful hate and idiocy and dishonesty all around me.

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When I first heard about this, I thought it must be satire. When I discovered it was real, I was appalled, but I still thought it must be a one-time thing from some nutty activist. But it turns out it’s the latest bit of pandering to a bunch of far-left activists who believe that a man can become a woman if he decides to claim he’s a woman. As everybody knows, men have prostate glands. Women do not. Period. End of story. Men can get prostate cancer. Women cannot. But political activists are so eager to pretend that a man claiming to be a “trans woman” is really a woman that they are insisting that “women” be included in public health messages about the issue. This is nothing but political virtue-signaling. If you’re a man, you know which parts you have. You know that you ought to be screened. Nobody is made any safer by dragging far-left gender ideology into simple medical reality.

Every time someone tries to tighten requirements around the use of absentee ballots, I hear screams from Democrats and others on the political left that such efforts are nothing but “suppression of black voters.” These protests have never made sense to me, especially because it’s never been a secret that absentee ballot fraud goes on all the time in certain areas. (Everybody knew it when I worked in politics.) The people who engage in such fraud are rarely caught — often because the local political establishment approves of the crime — but a Democrat who won a primary election in Clay County, Alabama, last year has pleaded guilty to this sort of cheating. Terry Andrew Heflin was running for a place on the Clay County Commission. He was caught ordering seven absentee ballots in the names of various voters and sending them to his post office box — after which he used the ballots to vote absentee for himself seven time. Did he have other people cast additional fraudulent ballots? We’ll never know. But in a primary in which he was able to win with only 141 votes, it wouldn’t take many fraudulent votes to change the election. The next time you hear “civil rights activists” claim that it’s just “voter suppression” to hurt blacks which is at the root of efforts to stop this fraud, remember Terry Heflin. If you care about fair and honest elections, ballot security and voter identity should matter to you.

A state legislator in Maine has been stripped of the ability to speak in the state Legislature — and her votes are not being counted on legislative issues — all because she made a truthful social media post. Rep. Laurel Libby (R-Auburn, Maine) opposes allowing boys to compete against girls’ teams in school athletics and she’s become known for making an issue of it. On Feb. 17, she posted on Facebook about a recent example that she found outrageous. She posted side-by-side photos of a boy named John who competed last year in a state track event and won fifth place against other boys two years ago — and a photo of the same boy (now called Katie) who won first place in the same event this year against girls. Whether you find this outrageous or not, Libby is clearly being honest and truthful about the objective facts of an issue of public importance. But the state Legislature censured her. Democrats decreed that she could not speak in the House and that her votes would not count on legislation — until she apologized for the outrage of telling the truth. She refused and her constituents have been unrepresented in the state House since then. The people who promote this ideology are out of touch with reality and won’t rest until they force the rest of us to join them in this delusion. But even if you agree with “trans” ideology, you should be appalled at this heavy-handed attack on political speech.

The late Steve Jobs was at the center of our culture’s transition from analog to digital. He co-founded Apple Computer. He led the team that revolutionized personal computing with the first Macintosh. As CEO of Apple, he led the development of the iPhone and later the iPad. You would think the children of such a man would be surrounded by technology. But Jobs and his wife Laureen didn’t let their children use iPads. Their home had few screens of any kind. Even though Jobs spent most of his time developing and selling Macs and iPhones and iPads, he was home with his wife and children for dinner when he was in town. The family ate together at a simple wooden table in their kitchen — and there were no digital devices or focus on popular culture. Instead, he’s said to have guided his family toward deep discussions of art, philosophy and education — with no iPads to be found. If the man who guided the development of such products chose a different path for his own children, does that suggest that his digital experience taught him that children need human connection, not screens? And does it suggest the possibility that we might be better off if we made the same choice for our families?

For four years, Donald Trump’s supporters screamed that everything that went wrong was the fault of Joe Biden. They were sometimes right and they were sometimes delusional. (Anybody who knows me understands that I can’t stand Biden any more than I can stand Trump, just for different reasons.) But for two months, Trump has rampaged through U.S. political life — vandalizing pretty much everything in sight — and the vast majority of his supporters are silent at best. Many watch as he blows up the world economy and they make excuses for him. They’re in absolute denial, even about things that Trump is doing very intentionally. Anybody who understands economics and history knows that tariffs are a terrible idea from a pragmatic point of view. Anybody who values individual freedom knows that tariffs are massive taxes on individuals — and they’re a tool of political control over the ability of people to trade freely. Trump is the antithesis of everything which political conservatives stood for just a few years ago. It’s far past time for people who claim to be conservatives to reclaim the principles and values which they used to claim — and stop this mad man before he can accelerate the day when we experience economic and social collapse. Open your eyes to reality and reject this lying narcissist.

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