Creating work that I’m proud of gives me elusive feelings of joy

By David McElroy · April 4, 2026

It was 6:30 a.m. when I stepped outside after being awake all night.

I had been writing — moving from one idea to another — creating bits and pieces of things that mostly aren’t ready to be published. Some of it had been for a book. Some had been for YouTube videos. Some had been for film projects. And part of it was for a ridiculous parody ad that I’ll use as a minor piece of a video.

Most of what I create isn’t great. Some of it is mediocre. Some of it never sees the light of day. But every now and then, something clicks and I’m able to make something really good. And when that happens, I know it.

As I stepped onto my front steps, the light breeze and gentle warmth outside were perfect. I looked above me to a beautiful moon peeking through partly cloudy skies.

Everything felt right. I was exhausted after working all night. But I felt alive.

I’ve felt this before. Not often. Not nearly as often as I’d like. But enough times to recognize it when it shows up.

It happens only when I’ve created something that I know — with complete certainty — is good.

When I was a newspaper editor and publisher, there were times when I created something for a newspaper that I was especially proud of.

On those nights, I couldn’t sleep. Not because of stress, but because I couldn’t wait to see how people would respond.

I sometimes stayed awake all night — admiring what I had made that had just been printed — just waiting until morning, when I could go out into public to observe people looking at what I had given them.

On those days, I would often go to popular breakfast spots just to listen to people talking about the morning newspaper. The people around me didn’t know who I was, so I was able to listen to them — and feel that sense of pride when those people loved what I had done.

They didn’t know me. But I felt exhilarated when they “got it.”

I felt the same thing the first time I experienced an audience watching the short film I made nearly 20 years ago at the Sidewalk Film Festival in Birmingham.

I was nervous. Would they think it was funny? Would they laugh? Or would there be awkward silence?

The audience was polite and reserved during the two or three films before mine. But when my film started playing, people laughed in all the right places. They stayed with it. They understood it. There was enthusiastic clapping during the credits.

As I left the theater, I felt as though I was about 10 feet off the ground.

They got it.

A former romantic partner who knew me well used to say that no matter what I chose to do in life, I always needed something that would supply “the applause factor.”

She wasn’t being critical. She just understood something about me. And she was right.

When I’ve done something that I love, I’m hungry for an appreciative audience. I need people to see or read or hear whatever I’ve made. I need to feel as though others — especially people I care about — understand it and appreciate it.

It’s not enough for me to create something I love. I need someone else to see it the way I see it. I need someone to get it.

None of the work that I did last night that left me feeling this way will bring me a nickel of income. In fact, most of it will cost me in one form or another.

But I need to create. I can’t help it. I need to make things.

Some people chase money in life. Others chase power. And a lot of them don’t seem to have anything they’re chasing other than short-term pleasure.

But I live for those moments when I have given everything I have to an idea and I’ve somehow crafted it into something which I know is good — something I love.

And then — if I’m lucky — someone else sees that, too.

I don’t have a word for what that is. I just know that I feel alive on those rare occasions when I feel it.

I want to love my work. And I want you to love my work, too. Because when you do, it feels like something more than appreciation.

It feels like connection.

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We are ruled by the dumbest and most incompetent people among us — and we have a system which allows stupid and irresponsible people to force the costs of their idiocy onto smarter and wiser people. Can we get away with that? Yes, for quite some time. But we eventually reach a point at which the dumbest of the dumb — who are habitual liars and mentally ill fools — lead us to the disasters and destruction that some of us have seen coming for years. We are approaching that point. And yet most of the idiots around us still wave their rhetorical banners of support for the evil people who are leading us to ruin — and all of them point their fingers at someone else, never noticing that their own enthusiastic support of evil is to blame. When things finally fall apart, blame yourself for your blindness to the evil, not whoever happens to be in power when it happens.

I’ve been making some changes to the site lately and there are more changes coming in the days ahead, so don’t be surprised if you some small differences. This is not a wholesale redesign, but rather the addition of some features. Since they’re smarter than I am, I’ve put Oliver and Alex in charge of the technical work, which you can see in this action photo from the control room of our media complex. I recently added a series of landing pages for readers who randomly discover the site from an Internet search. I’ve also changed the YouTube link at the top of the page to go to the new YouTube channel for video essays that reflect things I’ve already published here. (Here’s a little bit about both of the YouTube channels I’m working on.) In addition, I’m trying to move away from using Instagram, so I’m experimenting with photo plug-ins that will eventually allow me to host the pictures — cats, dogs, sunsets, whatever — that I often take. So don’t be surprised to see more changes. Thanks for your patience. Let’s hope Alex and Oliver know what they’re doing.

I have no use for the theocratic and repressive government of Iran. The people who run the country are cruel at best and evil at worst. The Iranian people deserve freedom. But I have no personal quarrel with anybody in Iran. While I’m not thrilled about a future Iranian government having nuclear weapons, I’m just as concerned about nukes in the hands of politicians in Israel, Pakistan, India, China and Russia. I’m not even thrilled with the U.S., Britain and France having them, either, because I don’t trust any politicians to be responsible with such terrible weapons. All I can say with certainty is that American taxpayers have no business attacking Iran, especially since we’re being forced to pay for this attack in order to benefit the politicians of Israel — and nobody else. If Middle Eastern countries want to fight among themselves, that’s none of my business. It’s not the business of the U.S. government, either. I have no quarrel with anybody in Iran — and having the government which claims to represent me launch an unprovoked attack against a sovereign country will only make all Americans less safe in the near future. This attack is poorly conceived and morally unjustified. Remember that when the Iranians launch attacks that we will then condemn as “terrorism.” What the U.S. is doing right now looks like terrorism to me. And let’s not forget that the attack is the latest in a long line of unconstitutional wars by various U.S. presidents — who have no legal power to declare war on their own, according to the U.S. Constitution.

A child having a tantrum understands only one thing: Did I get my way or not? He doesn’t understand the issues involved. He doesn’t understand the reasons that went into a decision. He doesn’t understand any of the things that mature and reasonable adults have to understand in order to live healthy lives. By his reaction to the U.S. Supreme Court’s ruling to strike down his disastrous tariff scheme, Donald Trump shows himself to be — once more — a screaming child having a tantrum. Outside the world of mob bosses who expect to get their way every time, normal adults don’t act this way, but Trump isn’t normal. He’s an angry and vengeful man who has narcissistic personality disorder. And we are in danger as a result. Trump doesn’t understand the legal issues involved in this ruling. He doesn’t understand economics. He doesn’t understand rule of law. He doesn’t understand that he can ever be wrong. All he understands is that he didn’t get his way. And he is now a narcissistic and raging little boy who also happens to hold life-and-death power over most humans on this planet. He’s dangerous — and the system which gives him that power is even more dangerous.

Is it an attempt to blur the gender line between men and women? Or is it some weird tribute to the traditional Scottish kilt? It’s hard to say, but fashion designers keep pushing for men to wear skirts in the last few years. Both men and women in modern fashion seem oddly androgynous, as though it would be offensive for a man to look manly or for a woman to look feminine. A CNN article about the latest fashions from Paris caught my attention Monday and left me wondering about the ugly clothes the designers are hawking. If a man wants to wear a skirt — or a kilt — that’s OK with me, but I’ll stick with a traditional dark suit with a white shirt and tie. (Well, when I’m not wearing t-shirts and sweats, of course.) I always wonder who actually buys the outlandish garb from fashion designers anyway. I would be humiliated to be seen in any of this stuff, but I obviously have no sense of high fashion.

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