Your life is built from choices, while the days of your life go by

I had one of those moments again recently.

I was watching a video on YouTube when I suddenly realized that I didn’t care about what I was seeing.

The video wasn’t bad. It wasn’t offensive. It wasn’t stupid. In fact, it was reasonably interesting. That was the problem.

I sat there for a moment and asked myself a question that has become increasingly common in the last few years: Why am I spending part of my life on this?

I don’t remember what the subject was. It could have been history. It could have been politics. It could have been science, culture, economics, theology or some obscure piece of trivia. The specific topic doesn’t matter because the pattern is always the same.

I start with something that I specifically want to know. Then another thing catches my attention. Then another. One link leads to another. One article leads to another. One video suggests another video. Before I realize what has happened, an hour has disappeared. Then another. And then I realize it’s 4 in the morning — and I’ve wasted hours.

The strange thing is that I wasn’t seeking entertainment.

Most discussions about distraction focus on entertainment. We imagine people wasting their lives watching mindless videos, scrolling through inane social media or consuming celebrity gossip or watching “reality TV.” Certainly some people do that, but that’s not my problem.

My problem is curiosity.

I am interested in almost everything.

History interests me. Psychology interests me. Technology interests me. Culture interests me. Politics interests me. Religion interests me. Human behavior interests me. The way civilizations rise and fall interests me. The way people think interests me. If a subject helps me understand the world, there’s a good chance I’ll find it fascinating.

For years, I thought this was an unqualified virtue. After all, curiosity is generally considered a positive trait. Curious people tend to learn more than other people. They tend to understand more. They tend to make connections between ideas that others miss.

But life has gradually taught me something that I wish I had understood much earlier.

Being interested in something is not the same thing as it being important.

For most of human history, information was scarce. News traveled slowly. Books were expensive. Most people knew very little about the world beyond their immediate surroundings. In a world like that, it made sense to gather information wherever you could find it. If somebody discovered something useful, you listened. If a new idea appeared, you paid attention. Human beings spent thousands of years adapting to a world in which information was difficult to obtain.

The problem is that we no longer live in that world.

Today, information is effectively infinite. Every minute of every day, articles, videos, podcasts, social media posts and opinions compete for our attention. Much of it is at least somewhat useful. Much of it is genuinely interesting. That’s what makes the situation so difficult.

If all of this information were worthless, the solution would be easy. I would simply ignore it. Instead, I’m surrounded by things that have some value, but not enough value to justify the amount of attention I give them. A video about some obscure historical event might be interesting. A political controversy might be interesting. A debate between two intelligent people might be interesting. A deep dive into some niche topic might be interesting.

The problem is that I have started asking a different question.

Instead of asking, “Is this interesting?” I increasingly find myself asking, “Is this the most important use of my attention right now?”

Those are very different questions.

Something can be interesting without being important. Something can be educational without being worth an hour of my life. Something can be true, informative and fascinating while still distracting me from things that matter more.

The older I get, the more convinced I become that one of the most important skills a modern person can develop is learning what to ignore.

That sounds almost heretical in a culture that constantly tells us to stay informed, but I don’t think our biggest problem is lack of information anymore. Our biggest problem is prioritization.

Time is limited. Attention is limited. Life is limited.

Every hour spent on one thing is an hour that cannot be spent on something else. An hour spent following some political controversy is an hour that cannot be spent creating something. An hour spent wandering through internet rabbit holes is an hour that cannot be spent building relationships. An hour spent consuming information is an hour that cannot be spent improving my health, developing my character or pursuing goals that would actually change my life.

The choice is never between doing something and doing nothing. The choice is always between this and something else.

That’s why I increasingly think attention is a moral choice.

I don’t mean that every minute must be productive. Leisure has value. Rest has value. Curiosity has value. Entertainment has value. The issue isn’t whether we occasionally spend time on things that are merely interesting. The issue is whether we allow those things to crowd out what is most important.

What we repeatedly pay attention to shapes who we become.

If I spend the next year focused primarily on outrage, controversies, arguments and distractions, I will become a person shaped by those things. If I spend the next year focused on creating, building, learning, connecting and loving, I will become a different person. My future will not be determined primarily by what I claim to value. It will be determined by what actually receives my attention day after day after day.

Attention is the water.

Whatever I water grows.

The tragedy is that modern life surrounds us with an endless supply of things that deserve a little attention but not much attention. We are drowning in subjects that are mildly interesting, moderately useful and ultimately low-priority. Almost everything online falls into that category. If I’m honest, much of what appears in my social media feed falls into that category. Much of what I post falls into that category.

Only interesting.

Not really worthless. Not evil. Just not important enough.

The danger is not that these things consume all of our attention. The danger is that they consume enough of it. Enough to crowd out deeper work. Enough to crowd out relationships. Enough to crowd out reflection. Enough to crowd out creation. Enough to crowd out the things that would actually move our lives in the direction we want them to go.

That’s why I occasionally find myself staring at a screen and wondering what I’m doing. The feeling isn’t boredom. It’s recognition. For a moment, I become aware that I am spending part of my life on something that matters less than the alternatives I could have chosen instead.

Then I stop what I’m doing and try again.

Because this is a lesson I keep learning and forgetting: A good life is built from attention. Every day, whether we realize it or not, we’re deciding what kind of future we’re creating by what we choose to notice.