• Skip to primary navigation
  • Skip to main content
  • Skip to primary sidebar
  • Skip to secondary sidebar

David McElroy

making sense of a dysfunctional culture

  • About David
  • New here?
  • Reading
  • Video
  • About AI

How can you have convictions while remaining open to truth?

By David McElroy · June 21, 2026

By the time I was in college, I knew everything. My beliefs about politics and theology and society were firmly fixed. I’d been taught almost everything and I figured out the rest.

Or so I thought.

Eventually, a bit of humility started to erode my arrogance. I finally had to ask myself  how I could have been so lucky to have been born into the only culture and country and religious group to have everything figured out correctly.

When I realized how absurd it was to think that could have been true, I was forced to look at what I believed and ask myself why I believed those things.

I went through a lot of deconstruction of what I believed. The process was painful at times. Eventually, I firmly embraced some of what I’d been taught and rejected other parts of it. This was a terrifying process that forced me to be vulnerable to the scary possibility that I had everything wrong.

Years later, I’m nothing like the person I was when I was young. My values are the same, but many of my beliefs have changed. I’ve realized now that a lot of people believe changing your mind is a sign of weakness or failure.

I’ve come to see that the power of change has given me more joy and freedom and confidence than I ever had when I knew everything. And I couldn’t have experienced that without accepting that I’d been wrong.

The strange thing is that changing my mind has not made me less certain that truth exists. It has made me less certain that I possess it.

Those are two very different things.

There are two opposite errors that seem common in our culture today. Some people believe that whatever they feel deeply and sincerely must be true. Others believe that if they can construct a logical argument that appears internally consistent, their conclusions must be true. Both approaches fail for the same reason. Our feelings can be wrong. Our logic can be wrong. Most importantly, the assumptions upon which our feelings and logic are built can be wrong.

We all begin with certain foundational beliefs about the world. We inherit them from our families, our culture, our religion, our education and our personal experiences. Most of us rarely stop to examine those assumptions because they seem so obvious that we don’t even notice they’re there. Yet entire civilizations have built elaborate systems of thought on assumptions that later turned out to be false. If intelligent people throughout history have been mistaken about important things, what makes me think I’m immune from the same danger?

That realization doesn’t make me doubt the existence of objective reality. It makes me doubt my ability to perfectly perceive it. Reality exists whether I understand it correctly or not. Truth remains true whether I recognize it or not. The challenge is that every one of us experiences reality through imperfect lenses. We interpret the world through our biases, experiences, fears, hopes and assumptions. Some people are more careful observers than others, but none of us sees perfectly. That includes me.

As I’ve grown older, I’ve become less interested in defending my beliefs and more interested in testing them. When I was younger, I treated changing my mind as a form of defeat. If someone exposed a flaw in my reasoning, I felt threatened. If facts contradicted my conclusions, I looked for ways to explain them away. Today, I find that reaction almost embarrassing. If my goal is to understand reality as accurately as possible, why would I want to protect an error? Why would I want to cling to a false belief simply because I’ve held it for a long time?

Being corrected still stings. Nobody enjoys discovering that he’s mistaken. But I’d rather endure a moment of embarrassment than spend years believing something that isn’t true. In fact, one of the most liberating realizations of my life has been that I don’t need to be right. I need to be willing to become less wrong.

That sounds like a small distinction, but it changes everything. The person whose identity depends on being right must defend every belief at all costs. New information becomes a threat. Questions become attacks. Contradictory evidence becomes an enemy. The person whose identity is rooted in seeking truth has a different relationship with being wrong. Every mistake becomes an opportunity to learn something. Every challenge becomes a chance to see reality more clearly. Every correction becomes a gift.

The irony is that many people view changing their minds as a sign of weakness. I’ve come to see it as a sign of strength. It takes no courage to spend a lifetime repeating what you’ve always believed. It takes courage to examine your assumptions. It takes courage to admit uncertainty. It takes courage to follow evidence and experience when they lead somewhere unexpected. Most of all, it takes courage to accept that your current understanding may someday need revision.

That doesn’t mean standing for nothing. It doesn’t mean drifting wherever the cultural winds happen to blow. It doesn’t mean treating every idea as equally valid. Some ideas are true. Some ideas are false. Some ways of living lead to flourishing. Others lead to misery and destruction. I believe that as strongly as ever.

But commitment to truth requires something deeper than commitment to my current opinions. It requires the humility to recognize that whenever truth and my beliefs come into conflict, it is my beliefs that must yield. That is the power of change. The willingness to change is not the abandonment of conviction. It is the recognition that truth matters more than my pride.

Every meaningful transformation in my life has begun with the same uncomfortable admission:

I might be wrong.

Share on Social Networks

Related Posts

  • ‘What’s the worth of one warm smile? Go and ask the dead man’‘What’s the worth of one warm smile? Go and ask the dead man’
  • Rand Paul shows you can fight the system or join it — but not both
  • All humans are a little bit insane; we’re not as rational as we think

Filed Under: Uncategorized

Primary Sidebar

Subscribe

Enter your address to receive notifications by email every time new articles are posted. Then click “Subscribe.”

Contact David

David likes email, but can’t reply to every message. I get a surprisingly large number of requests for relationship advice — seriously — but time doesn’t permit a response to all of them. (Sorry.)

Search

Archives

Donations

If you enjoy this site and want to help, click here. All donations are appreciated, no matter how large or small. (PayPal often doesn’t identify donors, so I might not be able to thank you directly.)




Future Photo Display

As part of my effort to rid my life of social media, I will no longer display links to my two Instagram accounts here. Those accounts will be dormant for the time being and will eventually be deleted. I plan to have a method for displaying photos here instead, but the solutions I’ve tested so far have been disappointing. I’m still working on it.

My Instagram

I always get frustrated when I take photos of the I always get frustrated when I take photos of the moon, but I always seem to come back to trying it again. When I was driving home tonight, I loved the way the moon looked with clouds tightly bunched around it, so I thought I’d make a quick picture and use it. Since the longest lens I have for my A7 is 240mm, I can’t get the resolution that I really need, So I end up trying all sorts of things in Photoshop that are really beyond my capabilities. This is better than what I started with, but it’s not what I might be able to get with an 800mm lens. I might be complaining about the results even if I had better equipment, though. At some point, I just have to accept that I should leave sky photos to photographers with better equipment and better skills. 😃
It’s too bad Meg can’t relax a little more, huh? I It’s too bad Meg can’t relax a little more, huh? I’m obviously kidding, because this little girl has quite a bit of confidence when she’s hanging out with me — and she has more confidence around the three boys every day, so that makes me happy. She’s been a great addition to the household.
By the time I left the office about 5:30 p.m. Frid By the time I left the office about 5:30 p.m. Friday, some light rain from the approaching hurricane was starting to fall. It’s been completely cloudy in Birmingham all day because of the bands of clouds pushing north from the Gulf of Mexico. About halfway home, I noticed that the sky had suddenly started exhibiting this beautiful orange glow to the west. So even though it was far too cloudy for us to see a real sunset, the light was still colorful enough and bright enough to punch through at the horizon. So I stopped on the Cahaba River bridge on I-459 and caught this quick shot. Within just a couple of minutes, the clouds had covered up the color — and the rain started getting a bit harder. By morning, we should have howling winds and serious thunderstorms. Let’s just hope there are no tornados spawned by this storm in our area.
I need some new portraits of myself, so I tried a I need some new portraits of myself, so I tried a few shots after I got home late Monday night. This one wasn’t great, so I’ll try again later, but I can use it until I have time to shoot another. I was too lazy to light this one properly — and it shows. 😺
Sunset, Leeds, Alabama — August 27, 2026 Sunset, Leeds, Alabama — August 27, 2026
Sunset, Leeds, Alabama — August 19, 2026 Sunset, Leeds, Alabama — August 19, 2026
When I got home at midnight Monday, I was doing so When I got home at midnight Monday, I was doing some work in the studio and Oliver wanted to join me, so I showed him around to acclimate him to the place again. He rarely goes in there, but I have pictures of him in that studio on the night I brought him home as a kitten. 😺
Earlier this week, I found two photos of Lucy and Earlier this week, I found two photos of Lucy and me that I had never seen. I loved finding the pictures, but seeing these photos left me thinking about the effect it has on us when we lose an animal we love — and it was also a reminder of how much my life has changed for the last nine months it’s been since I lost her. I wrote an essay about this. You can find it as the most recent post at davidmcelroy.org right now if you’re interested. I really do miss this sweet girl.
When I take lightning pictures, I’m always hoping When I take lightning pictures, I’m always hoping to get just one usable photo, but I got two dramatic images tonight. You might recognize the water tower and communication tower that you’ve seen in many of my sunset photos. This is about a mile from my house in Leeds, which is just east of Birmingham.
Follow on Instagram

Critter Instagram

I’m sitting in a chair in the office working on my I’m sitting in a chair in the office working on my MacBook late Tuesday night and Oliver has been hanging out with me. Since the computer was in the way, he eventually settled on sitting on the arm of the chair and purring himself to sleep.
I’m at a friend’s house late Tuesday afternoon and I’m at a friend’s house late Tuesday afternoon and I got to meet her boyfriend’s dog. This is Misty. She would chase that stuffed animal as many times I was willing to throw it.
As the weather gets cooler, the boys are enjoying As the weather gets cooler, the boys are enjoying the heated pad more and more. Alex is experiencing the bliss that a human might find it a sauna late Monday night. I haven’t yet seen Meg use the heated pad, but the other three love it.
As I left the house to head to the other office Mo As I left the house to head to the other office Monday afternoon, Alex made it clear that he was eager to get back to sleep.
At the end of the day, I always like to make sure At the end of the day, I always like to make sure I know where each of the cats is, so I was slightly concerned around midnight when I couldn’t find Meg. Alex and Oliver had been chasing each other between the bedroom and the office — and Sam was watching — but Meg was nowhere to be found. After looking carefully, though, I discovered she was in one of the caves of their castle, with the top of her head poking through the hole at the top of the cave. She seemed content to just watch the older boys as they ran across my desk.
It’s 3 a.m. and Oliver has just jumped into my lap It’s 3 a.m. and Oliver has just jumped into my lap looking for a nap spot. He’s purring hard as he makes biscuits on my leg and tummy. 😺
Late Saturday night, all of the cats except Sam ha Late Saturday night, all of the cats except Sam have been engaging in a game of chase between the bedroom and office. A few minutes after the game ended, Alex was relaxing on the bed and Meg came to stare at him. I couldn’t tell whether she was studying her adversary or trying to bait him into rejoining the chase.
Late Saturday afternoon, Sam is keeping his eyes o Late Saturday afternoon, Sam is keeping his eyes on the neighborhood at sunset.
I’ve been away from home overnight for the last fe I’ve been away from home overnight for the last few nights, so I haven’t gotten to spend nearly as much time with the felines as usual. Meg is willing to tolerate me for a few minutes, but Oliver is the one who’s really wanted to spend time in my lap. That little guy is so affectionate that he needs attention. I’m about to leave again, but I’m trying to make sure I spend some time with each of them — even though Meg would be just as happy if I fed her and let her go back to her cave to sleep.
Follow on Instagram

Secondary Sidebar

Briefly

I’m seeing a lot of simplistic and dishonest explanations right now for the current rioting in France. Those on the populist far right claim it’s all about Muslim immigrants to France disrupting the culture. Their message is that this sort of thing is going to happen in the U.S. unless “we defend the border.” On the far left, socialists and their fellow travelers claim the riots are all about wealthy people in France not paying enough taxes, resulting in cuts to government services. The truth is far more complicated, but it’s rooted in the decline of population growth in Europe. There simply aren’t enough young workers paying into the tax system anymore, so cuts in social services were inevitable. There is genuine cultural tension as more and more people immigrate from other countries, but government cuts to education and other services are even more important to what’s happening. The situation is complicated, so don’t let dishonest people with U.S. political agendas tell you that it happens to support whatever they were already promoting for partisan reasons.

Here’s another reason to appreciate the cats in your life: New research involving 93 countries found that places with more cats per person also tended to have happier people. The researchers say the finding fits with previous evidence that living with pets can reduce loneliness and stress while providing companionship, emotional attachment and social support. The study doesn’t prove that cats cause greater happiness, but it certainly adds to the evidence that sharing your home — and your life — with a cat might be good for you.

The company that owns Facebook and Instagram is heavily promoting its new AI-based software assistant called Muse, but people who are using it as it was designed are incredibly foolish. An early adopter of the software discovered that a few days ago when he advertised an item for sale on Facebook Marketplace — and he inadvertently gave Muse full authority to act on his behalf. The software agreed to a lowball offer made by another Facebook user and then gave that man the home address of the man for whom he was an agent. The software told the buyer that the seller was home and waiting for him. When the buyer showed up and waited angrily, the would-be buyer left an angry review for the man. And this angry man had the seller’s home address. It was only well after that that the software reported what it had done and admitted it had made a mistake. I won’t be putting that much power into the hands of any software. I think anyone who agrees to such terms is a fool. And the software’s user agreement says you’re responsible for purchases the software makes in your name. Nope.

Meet my new girlfriend. Her name is Meg. And she’s my little sweetheart. A couple of months ago, a neighbor across the street told me about a new stray in the neighborhood that she and I were both soon feeding. The cat had been very skittish about contact and she had a lot of scabs and parasites in her fur, but a trip to the vet last week revealed that she was otherwise in good health. The vet estimates her to be 1 to 2 years old. I named her for Meg Murry, the 13-year-old protagonist of Madeleine L’Engle’s wonderful book, “A Wrinkle in Time.” (Please read the book. Don’t watch the horrible movie.) Since we lost Lucy almost a year ago, it seems appropriate that we finally have a new little girl to join the household. She’s already captured my heart, but Alex, Oliver and Sam aren’t there quite yet.

There’s nothing socially acceptable that’s as dangerous as drinking alcohol. Most people grow up being told to “drink responsibly” — and all of us see people abusing this drug in one way or another — but the truth is that drinking alcohol is always a terrible risk. The alcohol in these drinks is toxic and the human liver has to work hard to filter the toxins out. What most people don’t realize is that alcohol is classified as a known carcinogen by the World Health Organization — because of the well-established connection between imbibing and various cancers. Many people have taken refuge behind the idea that light or moderate drinking might be safe, but a new study shows that drinking even one drink a day increases the risks of 10 types of cancer. When I was a teen-ager, I looked around and saw the negative effects that this behavior had on a lot of people and decided not to start drinking, so I’ve never even tried this poison. The evidence keeps piling up that I was lucky to have come to that conclusion early.

Read More

Crass Capitalism

Before you buy anything from Amazon, please click on this link. I’ll get a tiny commission, but it won’t cost you a nickel extra. The cats will thank you. And so will I.

© 2011–2026 · All Rights Reserved
Built by: 1955 DESIGN