David McElroy

I’m not good at ending things that really need to end.

It’s one of the enduring mysteries of my life. I like to think I’m a bright guy, but when it comes to my own self-sabotage, I might as well be an idiot. I never can see the stop signs. Or if I see them, I ignore them — plowing right on toward a disaster of my own creation.

When you see a stop sign — whether you’re driving a car or trying to get to where you want to go in life — it tends to be well ahead of time. You see the bright red sign in the distance and you know it’s time to put on the brakes. It’s for your own good and for the good of those around you.

People who ignore stop signs can hurt themselves. Their recklessness can hurt others, too. I’ve never done this in a car, but I’ve done it with my life over and over. I’m doing it again lately. And even though I see this, I’m sabotaging myself by ignoring the stop signs. Again.

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The devil doesn’t have horns and a pointed red tail. He doesn’t wear a red suit. The devil looks exactly like whatever it is you want the most.

The devil is a shapeshifter, changing himself in every moment to become some thing which is too good to be true. He appears to me as the object of my deepest desires — and he appears to you as whatever it is you need most as well. But when we allow ourselves to follow where this shapeshifting demon leads us, the heaven on earth which we expect turns out to be a living hell.

The devil is one of the most enduring archetypes of human history. For some people, he’s been a literal creature roaming the earth. In Christian theology, he’s seen as a spirit who’s the chief of the fallen angels. But however the devil has been conceived in theology or mythology or psychology, the real demon is in your head. It’s the lying trickster promising whatever it is you want and need the most.

The things that destroy us are typically the things we eagerly accept and even pursue. When evil and heartbreak arrive in our lives, these things don’t typically force their way in. They come in disguise — and we eagerly welcome them in.

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You are an irrational person. Yes, you.

That’s not an insult. If you can read this, you’re a human being — and that makes you irrational. In fact, I believe — in all seriousness — that every human being is just a little bit insane. Some form of insanity is a universal “birth defect” among us.

One of the biggest mistakes we make in life is assuming we’re rational. What’s worse, we notice that other people seem irrational and stupid, but almost all of us believe we’re the exception. My way of looking at the world is right and rational. Your way is wrong and irrational. (You probably have evil motives, too.)

You are the hero of your own story. In your own mind, you believe you’re making rational and smart and sane decisions. You believe you have good motives, at least within the context of however you’ve justified your own actions.

I do exactly the same thing. And our mutual blindness about this whole charade leaves us with warped perceptions of the world around us — and of each other.

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