David McElroy

Whatever goes wrong in our lives, there’s always someone else to blame. Always.

The boss wouldn’t give me a chance. The woman I loved cheated on me. The man I married turned out to be an abuser. He was a terrible father. My friend made me start using drugs and partying all the time. I had to go into debt because all my friends had nice things and I had to keep up with them. I didn’t get the education I needed. I’m fat and nobody likes me.

Our excuses are endless. But even when our justifications for ourselves are completely accurate, there was always someone else who ultimately had control. And even if we got into a terrible situation — or a hundred terrible situations — there’s always someone who can take control to fix things and make our lives better.

It can be a painful shock to accept that the man in the mirror — or the woman in the mirror — almost always has the power to turn a miserable life into a satisfying life.

But it’s easier to blame someone else and ignore the man in the mirror. I’ve done that at times. Maybe you have, too.

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I’m often terrified to remember that the veneer of civilization on top of the savagery of human history is razor thin and comes off easily. That veneer is wearing very thin right now — and evil is forcing its way out into the open.

What’s even more terrifying is that many people are eagerly cheering for one form of evil or another. But they all assume they’re on the side of what’s right — and that the people they hate are the only evil ones.

We like to see political and social struggles as battles between good and evil. We like to choose good guys and bad guys. We like to see ourselves on the side of angels who are fighting against demons, whether real or metaphorical.

But there are times when titanic clashes are between one form of evil and another form of evil. Western civilization is locked in one such battle right now. The United States is ground zero for that clash of evil — which some people try to see as “the lesser of two evils.”

Choosing either side right now ensures that you become part of the evil.

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One of my biggest problems in life is constantly falling for the delusion that I can get people with wildly divergent views — people who hate each other — to see things differently. I have the delusional belief that I can help people find common ground by giving both sides a third way of looking at a problem.

Objectively, I know that I’m wrong to believe I can change the way others see things, but I spend too much time trying to play this unintentional “mediator” role.

And it often takes an emotional toll on me. That’s what it’s doing right now.

I’m going to really try to step back from commenting on anything around Donald Trump right now, simply because his supporters and his most dishonest detractors are upsetting me equally. I find that there’s no way to deal with all of the dishonesty coming from both sides about Trump.

I’ve made it very clear — for years — that I think Trump is a lying narcissist who is uniquely dangerous. He is an evil man. Nobody could confuse me for someone who has any support for him, but I’m also infuriated by people who base their attacks against him on irrational and dishonest arguments.

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