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About 15 years ago — around the time when I was learning about how my father’s narcissism had affected me — I started experiencing sudden and unexplained rage. I eventually figured out that this was the anger I had been repressing for all those years when being angry with him was dangerous to me.

But I’m still trying to learn to accept my own anger — and how to deal with other people’s anger without having to walk on eggshells.

This is the next in a series of videos dealing with issues that come up for me to think about ask I write a book about my childhood experience of growing up with a narcissistic father. You can visit that YouTube page to subscribe to future videos. (Liking and subscribing help me quite a bit in helping others to see the videos. Or can can watch this video below.

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As I started coming to terms with the damage that my father’s narcissism had done to me, I also had to ask myself disturbing questions.

Had I become something like him? Had growing up with him taught me to be a narcissist? Was I going to become the abuser he had become?

Many people who are raised by narcissists turn into narcissistic abusers, too. I had to re-evaluate myself — my inner shame and some of my outer behaviors — in light of what I learned about him. These were not pleasant questions to ask myself.

This is the first installment of the thoughts I’m having as I finally write my book about having been raised by a narcissist. The YouTube site is here. (Please subscribe if you’d like to keep up with this project.) Or you can watch the embedded video below.

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For many years, I’ve intended to write a book about what it’s like to be raised by a narcissistic parent — and about my struggles to understand what happened to me. I’m finally writing that book, which is called, “The Truth About My Father.”

As a side project, I’ve set up a new YouTube channel on which I’m going to be posting videos about some of the thoughts that come up for me as I write the book. I realize this isn’t for most people, but if you have some personal experience with narcissism in someone around you, it might interest you.

I don’t know how often I’ll publish new videos, but if you’d like to know more as they come out, just subscribe to the channel and click on the choice to be notified when new videos are published.

For now, you can see the five-minute introduction to the channel below:

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